assisted living facility question

Does anyone know how I would go about getting a relative admitted into an assisted living, or independent living facility?

I know a certain diagnosis would be needed. I am sure there's alot of hoops to jump through. Can anyone give me a rundown as to how this happens, and what the earliest time frame would be, upon discharge from the hospital?

My mother is terminally ill, and they giving her maybe 1-2 years max to live .

Is this all contingent on their income level, insurance, etc?

Can anyone recommend one in Eastern Nassau or suffolk, that they maybe had a family member in, and it was 'nice'?

I need a little guidance, I am having a really bad weekend. Thanks.

Message edited 11/27/2010 5:35:23 PM.

Re: assisted living facility question

Re: assisted living facility question

Look into the arbours in islandia and ask to speak with someone regarding admission. Or even Sunrise Assisted Living. But are you sure your mom needs assisted living? If she can live independently they may not take her.

Re: assisted living facility question

My grandmother is in Dominican Village in Amityville. She's in the independent living side but they also have assisted living. Before she moved there, she was living by herself and truly just withering away often not making herself meals because she didn't feel like it. She stopped going out with friends because it was becoming more difficult.

Once she visited Dominican Village a couple of times (she wanted nothing to do with moving out of her house at first) she finally believed it was the best for her. Her quality of life has definitely improved since living there. Though she doesn't leave much since she can't drive, many activities are there, she also gets breakfast and dinner every day except Sundays where she gets wither dinner or brunch. Even if she's not too hungry, she still goes to the meals to meet and chat with the ladies, and boy do they gossip, chat, and really have a great time there (I've had brunch with her on occasions). Every resident is also provided with one of those buttons on a necklace or bracelet in the case of an emergency and the staff there is absolutely wonderful with the residents! It's not a nursing home at all with older people in wheelchairs just sat in different areas staring at walls (yes, we've seen some). There is always something to do and many of the residents there are so friendly.

Re: assisted living facility question

My MIL is in Sunrise Assisted Living in Lynbrook. They have others on the island as well.

As far as I know, there is no diagnosis needed. There are people living there that have alzheimers, dementia and others who are in a wheel chair. Some are totally self sufficient and have cars and come and go as they please.

Assisted living facilities are private so they do not accept insurance, medicare, etc. It costs thousands a month depending upon the level of care needed.

I'm not sure how old your mother or what the circumstances are, but if she is totally self sufficient I might look into other options. To be honest, these places can be very depressing. It might not be the best place for her.

Message edited 11/27/2010 6:33:47 PM.

Re: assisted living facility question

My grandmother lived in the Atria in Great Neck for 2 years from when my grandfather died until she passed away. She was 90 when she moved there. There was nothing "technically" wrong with her (she had dementia, but it didn't effect her day-to-day life) but she was old. It was very expensive, though (I believe about $5k/month), from what my father told me. Insurance did not pay for any of it.

She seemed happy enough when we'd go to visit her. She talked about the food being good, and she liked that they had movies for her to see and that they'd do her hair and nails in the place once a week. Most of the time when I went to visit her, she was sleeping somewhere around the facility. I'd go to the front desk and ask and they'd say "Oh, I think she's sleeping by the library right now" or "She's sleeping in the piano room"... and seriously, everywhere you'd walk, there were people in wheel chairs sitting around sleeping.

At the end when she stopped bathing herself and started having a lot of accidents, they'd take care of her completely without it being a big deal at all. It was certainly better than being in a hospital (she was only admitted to the hospital when she finally stopped eating completely -- she died a few days later) and somewhat more dignified. But it seemed like that facility at least was more for very old people.

My other grandmother was in hospice care at the end of her life (she was very young -- late 60s, but had a kidney disease that was discovered too late to treat). It was extremely sad, of course, but more geared for someone terminally ill. I believe hers was covered by insurance (although it was in Florida, not NY).

Re: assisted living facility question

Thank you. If insurance is not accepted at any of these places, how and who is footing this $5k+ bill a month? Families?
Social security checks/pension? I am just trying to absorb all of this and get a handle on it.

My mother is relatively young (60's), but has a terminal illness, that she may be feeling ok one day but horrific and touch and go the next. She needs to be monitored daily, probably a few times a day.

What other options are there?

Re: assisted living facility question

Speak to an elder care attorney so that they can explain Medicare, Medicaid and possibly how to preserve assets. I really only know about nursing homes, not assisted living because that is what I have had experience with regarding my own family and some clients. Even in those cases, an elder care attorney handled those issues while I was dealing with other aspects. Though they are called elder care attorneys, not all of the clients were elderly. Valerie Shivers, an attorney who is an LIF vendor, handles elder care issues. I know you said that your mother may be feeling okay one day and not the next but are you also considering hospice care?

Message edited 11/28/2010 12:56:12 AM.

Re: assisted living facility question

I agree that you should speak to an elder care attorney. They were able to walk us through the process of getting my grandmother in & preserving some of her assets.

Right now, her house is in a trust that enables her to retain the right to live there for the rest of her life (even though she really can't live on her own), so the rent from the house goes towards her assisted living facility along with social security checks.

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Re: assisted living facility question

First off-I'm so sorry about your mom.
Look into the Arbors in Commack. They're right off the LIE. My father had spent some time there about 2 years ago. The facility was nice-very clean and welcoming and the staff was excellent. From what I can remember, the monthly rate was the best we had been quoted-about $3400.00 per month. My father needed additional care and services.
We used a good elder care attorney-Felicia Pasculli in Bay Shore. She's pricey but was excellent. We used her firm to file for Medicaid and transfer the house into my brother's name.
I am so sorry. Please feel free to FM me. Although my father passed away, we're still dealing with some residual stuff and my brother, in particular, has a lot of knowledge with this type of stuff. I'd be more than happy to pass along questions for you.
Hang in there!