arghhh... so i find out why my mom didnt call...

to try and be good for mothers day i tried to find out why my mom hasnt called me for the last 2 weeks(starting 2 days after ds was born)....


Background:
---i had preeclampsia, i was induced at 36w 1 d- delivered 2 days later....
---baby was in ICU for 10 days. had a bad case of pneumonia, collapsed lung, jaundice, spinal tap to make sure no menengitis....

my mom is upset that i didnt call her to come see the baby,( though i was very sore from the all the stitches and crying a ton from seeing my baby hooked up to monitors, and his discharge being pushed back twice) I didnt call anyone- only mustered up strength to send out updates via email or text- which my dad received and responded to....

and this is the same mother that since the day after delivery has not called me to see how my baby was......(she showed up unannounced to my room and was upset because ICU called me to come down and i was there a while- when i came up to the room(after they completed a proceedure on ds- she said my parents were leaving- but then tells my sister she was upset I didnt invite her to see the baby that day- UMMMM 1- you didnt even ask how the baby was when i came up- you just said you were leaving. 2- if you asked you would have found out we had the proceedure done, and he needed to rest.... and this is the proceedure which you were guilt tripping me on that we shouldn't do- and tried to guilt trip my husband on(even though its healthier for them to do it as young as possible)

she then calls my IL's last weekend to see if the baby came home- rather than calling us...

tonight i called my sister to see what was up- my mom answers- says she isnt there- and STILL doesnt ask me how am i- or how is the baby

AND- i try and explain this to my sister- and she is completely taking my mom's side on it- saying my moms excited to be a grandma again and feels jilted.... as if i dont feel jilted that my baby was in the icu while my roomate had him in the room with her durring the day. then being discharged without him not knowning when he'd be able to come home.

Message edited 5/9/2009 11:45:03 PM.

Re: arghhh... so i find out why my mom didnt call...

i'm so sorry

Re: arghhh... so i find out why my mom didnt call...

That's terrible!
I think you need to have a little chat with your mom and remind her that as a mom, sometimes you have to put your children's feelings before your own!

Re: arghhh... so i find out why my mom didnt call...

Oh Emily, I'm so sorry That's really, really wrong of her to do. She should be taking care of you right now and you should not be worrying about taking care of HER emotional needs. That's incredibly selfish of her. You did nothing wrong. You need to focus your attention on your little man and getting him as healthy as he can be. Hang in there, I know it's hard, but she's being hard-headed and you need to not worry about her issues right now. Your sister is probably too scared to take your side because then she'll be the target, as well.

Re: arghhh... so i find out why my mom didnt call...

How incredibly rude to put additional stress on you on top of everything else that has been going on. I hope your mother comes around and realizes how selfish she's been.

Re: arghhh... so i find out why my mom didnt call...

I'm sorry she is adding to your stress. You did what you could. Concentrate on YOU and your own family right now.

Re: arghhh... so i find out why my mom didnt call...

thanks. dh is backing me on this one... its typical behavior from my family... its just in the last year she was more toned down and now she's flairing up again