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luckyinlove10
LIF Toddler
Member since 12/10 491 total posts
Name:
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Are these comments rude?
Or am I overreacting? Lately, whenever I tell some people (usually the same few people) that I had a relaxing weekend for example I get "heh we'll enjoy it now bc soon those days will be gone forever!" Or this week was really rough for me at work and when I told one friend she said "this week was rough?!? Wait until you have a 3 month old to come home to everyday!" I just feel like while these are I guess typical comments to make to a pregnant person I just feel they're so rude and annoying. I almost don't want to tell these people about my days or weekends as a result. Am I overreacting?! Ugh vent over I guess!
Message edited 10/27/2013 10:47:13 AM.
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Posted 10/27/13 10:40 AM  |
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rsquared
Sweet P is here!
Member since 4/11 2026 total posts
Name:
R
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Re: Are these comments rude?
My DH and I call them "Just wait" comments. Anything you say can and will be met with a "just wait" comment when you are pregnant. You are tired? "Just wait" You had a nice weekend? "Just wait" You are excited to have a baby? "Just wait."
Its just another example of women being crappy and competitive with each other. I usually respond with "You are right...babies are awful. I wonder if mine comes with a return policy...."
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| Posted 10/27/13 11:01 AM |
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luckyinlove10
LIF Toddler
Member since 12/10 491 total posts
Name:
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Re: Are these comments rude?
Posted by rsquared
My DH and I call them "Just wait" comments. Anything you say can and will be met with a "just wait" comment when you are pregnant. You are tired? "Just wait" You had a nice weekend? "Just wait" You are excited to have a baby? "Just wait."
Its just another example of women being crappy and competitive with each other. I usually respond with "You are right...babies are awful. I wonder if mine comes with a return policy...."
 I may have to try that response!!
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| Posted 10/27/13 11:04 AM |
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MrsG823
Just call me Mommy.
Member since 1/11 5570 total posts
Name:
S
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Are these comments rude?
I just ignore comments like these-- I do not think the comments are rude just people projecting their crap onto you.
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| Posted 10/27/13 11:38 AM |
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bttrfly82131
LIF Infant
Member since 8/11 154 total posts
Name:
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Are these comments rude?
Some people just like to complain!! Of course life is going to change but you are going to have the cutest lil baby to hold in your arms and all of the changes are WELL worth it!!
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| Posted 10/27/13 11:54 AM |
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MrsG72907
Mommy of 2 girls!
Member since 5/10 2046 total posts
Name:
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Re: Are these comments rude?
People def. do not do it with the intent to be rude, although it can def be annoying. I think it's more of a "I wish I knew then what I know now."
I am pregnant with DD#2 and I can now see where people are coming from. For example, people ask me lately if I'm ready for the baby to come. I tell them I am much wiser this time around. lol. With #1 I was DYING for her to be born. Everyday I had to wait (especially in the last month) seemed painful. This time around I am still dying to meet my little girl but I know how much easier it is with her in my belly, even chasing after a 2 year old. I tell her she can stay close to me as long as she would like. It doesn't mean people think having a baby is awful. It's more of a reminder to enjoy every moment bc things are about to change big time. Lately, I find myself enjoying every moment with our family of 3 just a little bit more.
People just don't think when they speak. It's like when people seem to offer their "condolences" to me when I say I'm having another girl. Who says I preferred a boy?
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| Posted 10/27/13 2:43 PM |
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luckyinlove10
LIF Toddler
Member since 12/10 491 total posts
Name:
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Re: Are these comments rude?
Posted by MrsG72907
People def. do not do it with the intent to be rude, although it can def be annoying. I think it's more of a "I wish I knew then what I know now."
I am pregnant with DD#2 and I can now see where people are coming from. For example, people ask me lately if I'm ready for the baby to come. I tell them I am much wiser this time around. lol. With #1 I was DYING for her to be born. Everyday I had to wait (especially in the last month) seemed painful. This time around I am still dying to meet my little girl but I know how much easier it is with her in my belly, even chasing after a 2 year old. I tell her she can stay close to me as long as she would like. It doesn't mean people think having a baby is awful. It's more of a reminder to enjoy every moment bc things are about to change big time. Lately, I find myself enjoying every moment with our family of 3 just a little bit more.
People just don't think when they speak. It's like when people seem to offer their "condolences" to me when I say I'm having another girl. Who says I preferred a boy?
Very true. Thanks for this perspective!! and Congrats on another  - your daughters will be best friends!!
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| Posted 10/27/13 4:01 PM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Are these comments rude?
I actually don't take them as rude. More of a wish someone had warned me comment. And I had my share of rude comments when I was preg. Asking if I was having twins. Asking if I was sure of my due date as if I was actually farther along bc of my size.
You will always get unwarranted comments. When you are ttc, pregnant and when you have the baby. You will get the stories of when others had their babies and what they did and the advice. Most of the time I just smile, sometimes I speak up. Especially when it's old advice which it almost always is and things have changed.
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| Posted 10/27/13 4:26 PM |
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edfilippi
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 997 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Are these comments rude?
When I was pregnant people would say the same thing to mr. Honestly its annoying and stupid. You are pregnant and having a baby there is no turning back so why even keep bringing up the negative. Even though its all worth it.
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| Posted 10/27/13 4:59 PM |
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rsquared
Sweet P is here!
Member since 4/11 2026 total posts
Name:
R
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Re: Are these comments rude?
Posted by luckyinlove10
Posted by MrsG72907
People def. do not do it with the intent to be rude, although it can def be annoying. I think it's more of a "I wish I knew then what I know now."
I am pregnant with DD#2 and I can now see where people are coming from. For example, people ask me lately if I'm ready for the baby to come. I tell them I am much wiser this time around. lol. With #1 I was DYING for her to be born. Everyday I had to wait (especially in the last month) seemed painful. This time around I am still dying to meet my little girl but I know how much easier it is with her in my belly, even chasing after a 2 year old. I tell her she can stay close to me as long as she would like. It doesn't mean people think having a baby is awful. It's more of a reminder to enjoy every moment bc things are about to change big time. Lately, I find myself enjoying every moment with our family of 3 just a little bit more.
People just don't think when they speak. It's like when people seem to offer their "condolences" to me when I say I'm having another girl. Who says I preferred a boy?
Very true. Thanks for this perspective!! and Congrats on another - your daughters will be best friends!!
Yeah, you are probably right. I am definitely sensitive to it.
I kind of see it this way. I am married now, and in retrospect, I wouldn't have spent all that money on a wedding. But when it was happening, I was so happy and excited, I couldn't think of anything but how great the wedding was going to be. And every bride deserves that. So when friends get engaged, I don't say "Don't spend a lot on your wedding, you will regret it later." because that bride deserves to have that unbridled excitement that I got to have. She doesn't need to know that the first year of marriage is hard, or that spending 2K on flowers is a waste of money, because its her turn to be excited.
I see babies the same way. We all are entitled to that first baby excitement, and just because its not going to be how we imagined it, doesn't mean we don't get to ride out those emotions on our own, kwim? So while those comments are probably meant to offer some perspective on how things really are, its not fair to take away that period of pure joy and excitement with all the negative (albeit truthful) comments.
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| Posted 10/27/13 5:40 PM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: Are these comments rude?
Posted by MrsG72907
People def. do not do it with the intent to be rude, although it can def be annoying. I think it's more of a "I wish I knew then what I know now"
I couldn't agree with this more
I don't find it rude
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| Posted 10/27/13 6:11 PM |
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walkintomymind
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 806 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: Are these comments rude?
Yes, it is somewhat rude. When I was pregnant with DD, people would say stuff like that to be and I'd get SO annoyed.
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| Posted 10/27/13 6:38 PM |
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Re: Are these comments rude?
I think they are just being honest...because really they're right...lol. I guess how you take it is really up to you.
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| Posted 10/27/13 7:47 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Are these comments rude?
Not rude ....... It's reality. You don't really know how your life changes til it does.
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| Posted 10/27/13 8:22 PM |
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AllyMally
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/13 881 total posts
Name:
Alyson
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Are these comments rude?
I don't think it's rude, but really annoying! Like the whole sleep now because when baby gets here it's over. I handled it well for awhile but at the end when I wasn't sleeping or comfortable I snapped and just said Yea because you can totally add sleep to a sleep bank. Just because you are having a baby doesn't mean it will suck. Yes there will be hard days, and great days, but it doesn't matter if you are a parent or not. Things don't get magically harder when you have kids. Yes more unpredictable and different, but not always harder. Instead of scaring people we should support them because in the end we all learn how having a baby changes things. I personally liked it when people would be honest AND kind. My SIL called before I had my daughter and I was crying because I couldn't sleep and was just so sick and uncomfortable. She said just wait it gets worse and I was pissed, but then she said but then they fall asleep in your arms and nothing matters anymore. She always gave the good with the bad. Now THAT is great "advice"
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| Posted 10/27/13 8:45 PM |
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popabubble
I need a clone
Member since 12/09 1143 total posts
Name:
Dianne
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Re: Are these comments rude?
Posted by MrsG72907
People def. do not do it with the intent to be rude, although it can def be annoying. I think it's more of a "I wish I knew then what I know now."
I am pregnant with DD#2 and I can now see where people are coming from. For example, people ask me lately if I'm ready for the baby to come. I tell them I am much wiser this time around. lol. With #1 I was DYING for her to be born. Everyday I had to wait (especially in the last month) seemed painful. This time around I am still dying to meet my little girl but I know how much easier it is with her in my belly, even chasing after a 2 year old. I tell her she can stay close to me as long as she would like. It doesn't mean people think having a baby is awful. It's more of a reminder to enjoy every moment bc things are about to change big time. Lately, I find myself enjoying every moment with our family of 3 just a little bit more.
People just don't think when they speak. It's like when people seem to offer their "condolences" to me when I say I'm having another girl. Who says I preferred a boy?
This! Exactly....
One thing that annoyed me while I was pregnant with DD#1, was people constantly saying "get your sleep now".. DH and I would just cringe when we heard that... But you know what? They were 100% right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 10/28/13 6:56 AM |
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Are these comments rude?
I'm crashing because I had to respond. I heard comments like these throughout my pregnancy. It was the most annoying thing ever. Sure parenting can be hard (especially with my now 2.5 toddler), but it's so worth it and I love being a mommy. I also don't think comments like this are true for everyone. I slept better after I had the baby!!!!!!! My dd was seriously an angel and I got extremely lucky with her. You may have a really easy baby too. Not everyone's experiences are the same and what may be true for one person may not be true for another. I think that's what annoyed me most- is that parenting is overgeneralized into one category when this may not be the norm for everyone.
Message edited 10/28/2013 9:04:16 AM.
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| Posted 10/28/13 9:03 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Are these comments rude?
I don't think it's meant to be rude at all. I know I say the same things to my friends and it's more of just letting them know that their life is about to change and they really have no idea how much! I also don't mean it as a complaint as I love how my life changed now that DS is here. But I also had no idea how much it would change and I'm just kind of giving them some insight.
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| Posted 10/28/13 9:51 AM |
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Are these comments rude?
It's not something you want to hear, certainly, but unfortunately they're accurate. You have no clue how much your life is going to change until it actually does. Once that baby comes out, your life is not your own. You're on their schedule, nothing is predictable, etc. That doesn't mean it's some kind of endless misery either!
Message edited 10/28/2013 10:56:45 AM.
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| Posted 10/28/13 10:56 AM |
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KroertGS
LIF Infant
Member since 6/13 263 total posts
Name:
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Re: Are these comments rude?
Yes, I find them to be rude and annoying.  
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| Posted 10/28/13 11:50 AM |
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angnick
Life is So Wonderful!
Member since 8/06 6663 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Are these comments rude?
People just dont know any better. that is what i have chaulked the dumb comments up to.
I have even caught myself when people complain when pregnant= oh yeah, i'm pregnant with my third, at least u can come home and go to sleep if you want. i have to come home and be mommy to two kids.
its not nice of me to say. i should just be sympathetic, but hey, chaulk it up to hormones.
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| Posted 10/28/13 1:48 PM |
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