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Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

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curliegirl
He's here!!!!

Member since 3/06

10128 total posts

Name:
Gina

Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Fighting last night about DH not really doing much to help around the house.
It's only my first week back to work, but DH doesn't understand that I am not Superwoman, as much as I want to believe so...Chat Icon
WhenI was home he seemed to think that I was home twiddling my thumbs, and I did take on a lot of the household responsibility.....but now the playing field is "even" and I;m still getting dumped on.....

Tried to settle the waters this morning and got "I don't care how you feel or what you say....."
It was lovely....

Posted 4/4/08 10:17 AM
 
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!

Member since 5/05

14007 total posts

Name:

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Sorry...I know how hard it is. I do all things domestic and work. It's impossible to keep up. What I have found is that if I want anything done, I have to ask because he is never going to think to himself to do it on his own. Chat Icon

Posted 4/4/08 10:19 AM
 

Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare

Member since 5/05

17988 total posts

Name:

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Posted by shamrock124

Sorry...I know how hard it is. I do all things domestic and work. It's impossible to keep up. What I have found is that if I want anything done, I have to ask because he is never going to think to himself to do it on his own. Chat Icon



ITA...with every word!

My DH is wonderful and a great help but I do have to ask for the help to get it. I think he assumes I will get it all done and doesn't think that I might need help...also my fault because I needed to speak up more. I was taking it all on myself and getting very stressed. So I told him...this is what's important to me and this is what I need you to do.

I was worried about making lists for him but turns out he prefers it so that he knows what to do. But I still have to manage that Chat Icon

Posted 4/4/08 10:21 AM
 

Marcie
Complete Happiness :)

Member since 5/05

27789 total posts

Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

I think you need to sit with your DH, at a time that you are not in a heated argument and have a heart to heart.
It sounds like there is miscommunication between you too.
I mean, if you were doing alot of the stuff while you were home, he doesn't realize how much you were doing cause you had it all done.

So I think the two of you communicating on the things that need to be done, will help.

I know the tactic of saying to him, you need to help me, or you have to do this - would have never worked for my DH.

Even right things down (make a list)
and say maybe these are the things that you can help me with

For instance, my DH gives DD her baths.
This gives me time to clean the kitchen after dinner, or clean up her toys or do a load of laundry or what have you - even if I sit on the couch and relax.
But DH and I discussed these things and it has worked for us

Good luck!

Posted 4/4/08 10:28 AM
 

waterspout4
My loves

Member since 5/06

19150 total posts

Name:
Kelly

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

HOLY CRAP!!!!! I can totally relate. Vent anytime to me. I can tell you so many stories, but I have to go right now.

Men are ridiculous at times. Chat Icon

Posted 4/4/08 10:33 AM
 

bicosi
life is a carousel

Member since 7/07

14956 total posts

Name:
M

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Posted by shamrock124

Sorry...I know how hard it is. I do all things domestic and work. It's impossible to keep up. What I have found is that if I want anything done, I have to ask because he is never going to think to himself to do it on his own. Chat Icon



Agreed.

Or do what I did. In our case, we hired someone to do all the housework and DH pays for it.

Happy Wife, Happy Husband.

Posted 4/4/08 10:33 AM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

My Dh is really good about helping, but I agree with the asking him exactly what you want. I think it is also helpful if I say "If you could do this for me, it frees up my time to do this other thing...."

I would also try to avoid having these conversations at all in the morning. You guys are probably too rushed to talk about it, it turns into a fight and it ends up being a bad way for both of you to start your day. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/4/08 10:36 AM
 

Mrs
LIF Adult

Member since 6/05

1652 total posts

Name:

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Chat Icon I'm with you and its my SECOND week back!!

Today I was totally POd at DH. DD kept waking up constantly since 2 am, and guess what, DH didn't get up once! He kept telling me "i will be tired at work' well, uuuuhh thanks!!!! Now I am tired at work, been up since 2am!Chat Icon

Posted 4/4/08 10:39 AM
 

mom2mgn
Love my family

Member since 2/08

2267 total posts

Name:
Christine

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

DS is 2 and I still go through this with DH. He'll be good for a week or so and then back to his old ways, sitting on the couch when he comes home from work while I cook, clean, vacuum and take care of DS. Then I have a break down and he's good again for a week. He just doesn't get it and I don't think he ever will. Men. Can't live with them, can't kill them.

Posted 4/4/08 11:07 AM
 

curliegirl
He's here!!!!

Member since 3/06

10128 total posts

Name:
Gina

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Posted by Mrs

Chat Icon I'm with you and its my SECOND week back!!

Today I was totally POd at DH. DD kept waking up constantly since 2 am, and guess what, DH didn't get up once! He kept telling me "i will be tired at work' well, uuuuhh thanks!!!! Now I am tired at work, been up since 2am!Chat Icon



I told DH that once I go back to work, we have to share getting up with DS, which isn't much now, thank goodness...and he said "absolutely!"

Now it's "Oh, I have to stand on a ladder all day or in an elevator shaft, so I need my sleep"......

It's always somethin'.................

Imagine, JUST IMAGINE if they had to give birth........Chat Icon
They would be in the hospital for WEEKS instead of mere days or hours.....

Message edited 4/4/2008 12:04:47 PM.

Posted 4/4/08 12:04 PM
 

mrsej
The cutest!

Member since 1/07

2495 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Posted by curliegirl

Fighting last night about DH not really doing much to help around the house.
It's only my first week back to work, but DH doesn't understand that I am not Superwoman, as much as I want to believe so...Chat Icon
WhenI was home he seemed to think that I was home twiddling my thumbs, and I did take on a lot of the household responsibility.....but now the playing field is "even" and I;m still getting dumped on.....

Tried to settle the waters this morning and got "I don't care how you feel or what you say....."
It was lovely....



This is my big fear. i go back in 2 weeks and i know this will be DH's reaction. He thinks I do nothing around the house when I am home. I am totally fearing that when I go back he will still not be helpful. I think he thinks that some mysterious person comes in the house and does the laundry and cleans the house.

Posted 4/4/08 12:07 PM
 

Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!

Member since 10/05

29450 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Does it count that I wanted to (and still do want to) kick DH in the teeth last night because he left the gas flame on the stove - for over an hour while I was out - and the baby was sleeping - and he was drinking his wine???

MEN

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Posted 4/4/08 12:07 PM
 

GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!

Member since 11/06

26792 total posts

Name:
Shawn

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

I help out a lot, but even I need DW to tell me explicitly what she expects from me once in a while. It's not a male thing. I have to do the exact same thing for her if I want her to do certain chores around the house, or buy a tool for my b-day, etc. If it's not something you're familiar with, you need explicit directions.

Would every woman here be able to "Fix the house."? I'm sure most women would need an exact list of everything to do. DW doesn't even notice half of the things that I see that need to be repaired.

Women! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon


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Posted 4/4/08 9:18 PM
 

AimeeE2006
Time flies!

Member since 1/06

5698 total posts

Name:
Aimee

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Posted by myson220

Men. Can't live with them, can't kill them.



Amen

Posted 4/4/08 11:49 PM
 
 

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