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usuk2004
I'm ONE!
Member since 5/05 5150 total posts
Name:
Farah
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Anyone else feel like they can't win?
DS is 8 months and my mommy friends are going back to work one by one. Except for me... DH and I decided that it's not worth having someone else look after DS for the amount of money I would bring home after paying for childcare. So I'm going to be a SAHM, which I always imagined would be the perfect situation.
But if I'm completely honest, I'm feeling a bit weird about it, like I'm copping out or taking the easy way out because I didn't really like my job to begin with. On the other hand, I know that being home with DS is hard work and when I have gone into the office to visit, I've started to panic that maybe I'm giving up on my career and my professional identity. But in talking to people who ARE going back to work, they all dont' seem to be completely convinced of their decision either and have a whole slew of their own worries, issues, insecurities, etc.
I've just come to the conclusion that it's hard no matter what you do! Moms just can't win, can they?? 
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Posted 4/10/10 5:11 PM  |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Anyone else feel like they can't win?
Posted by usuk2004
I've just come to the conclusion that it's hard no matter what you do! Moms just can't win, can they??
I feel the same!
I thought I would have the best of both worlds working PT (3 days week) and being home with DD 2 days.
It's hard, just as hard if not harder than when I was working FT
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| Posted 4/10/10 5:54 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Anyone else feel like they can't win?
you really cannot win.  There are pros and cons to both and a decision either way is bound to make anyone question it. Being a SAHM doesn't have to be a forever job title. It can be for 1 year or 20 years. Life changes and anyone can rethink their decision at anytime working mom or SAH.
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| Posted 4/10/10 5:57 PM |
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LoriH
There's no place like home
Member since 8/07 4110 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Anyone else feel like they can't win?
Posted by usuk2004
I've just come to the conclusion that it's hard no matter what you do! Moms just can't win, can they??
I think you have it summed up here.. There is no perfect situation. You find what works for you and make the best decisions for your family. When you are at home you want to be at work, when you are at work you want to be home. You typically long for what your don't have. Every situation comes with its own challenges.
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| Posted 4/10/10 6:05 PM |
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Re: Anyone else feel like they can't win?
Posted by Elbee
you really cannot win. There are pros and cons to both and a decision either way is bound to make anyone question it. Being a SAHM doesn't have to be a forever job title. It can be for 1 year or 20 years. Life changes and anyone can rethink their decision at anytime working mom or SAH.
Excellent points. I wanted to work and I don't have a choice as far as $$ is concerned. But now that DD is three I wish that I'd been able to stay home, because she starts school in 2 years and we probably won't be having any more.
You're not locked into anything. It was a small thing, but I found a book club during the brief time I stayed home. It was great to do something for me and I am still part of it. Maybe something like that would be good for you.
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| Posted 4/10/10 6:48 PM |
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alisonggg
Cutie
Member since 3/06 4749 total posts
Name:
a
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Re: Anyone else feel like they can't win?
Posted by MrsRbk
I thought I would have the best of both worlds working PT (3 days week) and being home with DD 2 days.
It's hard, just as hard if not harder than when I was working FT
I feel like this too. I work 5 days a week, 4 hours a day and I feel like I thought this would be the best of both worlds, but alot of times I feel like I'm stuck in btwn the SAHM and working mom world and I don't fit in in perfectly in either one. I feel like either I'm not doing my job to the best of my abilities, or I'm missing out on all of these things with my SAHM friends because I have to work...
You are totally right though, working, sahm, or pt its hard to win!
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| Posted 4/10/10 9:45 PM |
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AnnBrunoXO
2 Girls For Me!
Member since 5/05 4377 total posts
Name:
MaMMa
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Re: Anyone else feel like they can't win?
there are pros and cons to every situation - there is no right or wrong - every familiy, situation is different.
Im a SAHM for a few years now and hope to continue to be till the kids are at least in school full-time.
The answer is to be happy and come to terms with your decision and know that it is the right decision for you and your family.
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| Posted 4/10/10 9:50 PM |
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mommyofTrevor
LIF Infant
Member since 7/09 222 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Anyone else feel like they can't win?
I feel this way often. When I work I want to be home and when I'm home for more than a day I want to be at work. It doesn't make someone a bad mom. We're just being honest. You're not alone.
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| Posted 4/11/10 10:02 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone else feel like they can't win?
Posted by alisonggg
Posted by MrsRbk
I thought I would have the best of both worlds working PT (3 days week) and being home with DD 2 days.
It's hard, just as hard if not harder than when I was working FT
I feel like this too. I work 5 days a week, 4 hours a day and I feel like I thought this would be the best of both worlds, but alot of times I feel like I'm stuck in btwn the SAHM and working mom world and I don't fit in in perfectly in either one. I feel like either I'm not doing my job to the best of my abilities, or I'm missing out on all of these things with my SAHM friends because I have to work...
You are totally right though, working, sahm, or pt its hard to win!
I work from home 2 days a week and work in the city 3 days a week and always say the same thing. I feel like I never give my job my all, and I never give being at home my all - I just can't do either 100%. Granted, I'm working while I'm home but I do have some freedom but not enough to make me be able to do everything with DD that I want to. You really can't win!!
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| Posted 4/12/10 6:59 AM |
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