Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

I am so confused. I've always wanted 3 kids. I am really happy and very comfortable with the 2 that I have right now. There are days where I say to myself, I am done but other times there is this feeling that I should go for it. Honestly, we are in a situation where we cannot afford to have another child. We would need a bigger car and a bigger place to live. I am just wondering if there is anyone else out there that feels the same way.

How about moms that are pregnant with # 3 right now, did you ever feel confused or did you know you wanted to have a 3rd?

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

I really want #3 but my husband does not. WE can not really afford another one right now, but I am hoping to win the lottery I can dream, can't I?

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

Well, I have always said that I would have at least 3 children or nothing...no matter what. But of course, I have the right to change my mind. My parents always regret that they didn't go for the 3rd even with the little money they had and I know I would too.

Anyway, now that DD#2 is one, things are becoming more manageable in some ways and I think, maybe I should just leave well enough alone, life is good...but I know in my heart I'm not done. Now, it just becomes a matter of when...I keep wanting to delay it. So, I'm torn in that sense. But yeah, I find myself looking at minivans on the road and thinking, "They're not so bad..."

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

Posted by Eireann

Well, I have always said that I would have at least 3 children or nothing...no matter what. But of course, I have the right to change my mind. My parents always regret that they didn't go for the 3rd even with the little money they had and I know I would too.

Anyway, now that DD#2 is one, things are becoming more manageable in some ways and I think, maybe I should just leave well enough alone, life is good...but I know in my heart I'm not done. Now, it just becomes a matter of when...I keep wanting to delay it. So, I'm torn in that sense. But yeah, I find myself looking at minivans on the road and thinking, "They're not so bad..."

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

I'm in that same situation... I never really had a set # of kids I wanted, but I do come from a big family and knew I wanted to same. Now I tell DH that I don't need to have 6 kids (I am one of 6), but that I would love to have a 3rd for so many reasons. He is one and one (we have a boy and a girl) and DONE. I don't think there is anything I can do to convince him otherwise. I've been trying since my DD was born

I still want a 3rd. However, as time goes on, and the kids are getting older and I am moving away from everything "baby", I am LOVING it. They are little people now and it's so much easier overall. We have saved very nicely for their college education already and I am still afforded the opportunity to be a SAHM. I am also over 35 now and have conflicting thoughts about that, although to me age is just a number.

I think my last push will be this summer.... If I can't make DH change his mind, I am pretty much ok with our family as is. I just have to hope I look back and never really get sad I didn't get a 3rd, KWIM.

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

DH was always on the more kids team, now that we have 2, he is happy and content. But all those years of convincing me to have more, I can't turn it off and on.

I think he is slowly coming around, but we both agree that our oldest has to be in at least kindergarten (or 1st grade, since our district is 1/2 day Kindergarten) so we won't pay for 3 kids in daycare/preschool.

the thought of newborns is daunting, but it goes by pretty quickly.

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

Well we just have 1, but will be TTC this summer...in my mind I'd love 3, but not sure that is feasible being that I'll be 38 this summer...he too said he'd like 3 (except if the next one happens to be a boy, I think).

My cousin said to me recently, that they regret not going for a 3rd (now that their kids are in HS)...they said 3 would have been nice. I don't want to look back & feel like that...

Also I wouldn't let $ be a determining factor...there's always a way....

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

I really always thought i would have a third. And honestly? I still would like to have a 3rd.

But I'm almost 40 and my younger son is FINALLY out of daycare and with my husband potentially going out of work for a long time - the situation is not ideal to plan for another.

If it were about having ONE child, I wouldn't let finances make my decision - but this is about my THIRD. And the economy is UGLY right now. It would be incredibly irresponsible of us to plan for a 3rd when we aren't 100% certain we are going to be able to give the children that we HAVE the things that we want to give me.. like a college education..

It's hard. And it's harder when you actually MAKE the decision for real instead of half acknowledging it in your head. I am sad about it - but I am incredibly blessed to have 2 gorgeous, healthy and wonderful little boys - so I can't be too depressed over it.

Message edited 6/10/2008 10:04:39 PM.

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

As a mother of 3... enjoy the sanity of 2

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

Here is my advice on the subject...

When DH and I met we were both done having kids. It said so on both of our profiles on Match.com ...When we started talking about getting married we also started talking about whether or not we should/shouldnt have a child of our own. We went through all the pros & cons...the haves and have nots..etc...When it came down to it we basically said that we didnt want to wake up one day 10 years from now and wish that we had had another child. We knew that if God gave us another child we would never question whether or not we did the right thing or not...Does that make sense???

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

Totally confused on what to do. I always wanted 3 kids. My #2 has been a tough baby - getting better but tough and made me totally reconsider having 3.

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

I am preg. with #3. My 1st 2 are 20 months apart and & #2  will be 19 months apart.
I always wanted 4 (DH wants3) so the 3rd pregnancy was an easy decision for me. we'll see after this one if I still want 4 but I'm Almost positive I do - I just need to talk DH into it.

I'm the youngest of 6 and I always liked being from a big family.

Message edited 6/10/2008 10:28:30 PM.

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

I was thinking about it the first 2 weeks we were home after I had my son. Now that the newness has warn off and it's just me in and the kids-- nope 2 is more than enough for me.

Re: Anyone confused or thinking about having baby#3

DH and I joke about how I've been pg for most of the 4 yrs we've been married, so my goal in 2008 is not to be pg - 6 months down, 6 to go.

But seriously, I'm totally on the fence. We always talked about having 3 or 4 kids. The first few months after Jayden were really hard bc he didn't get a clean bill of health until he was 3 months old. I know the odds are slim but I am so scared of having to leave the hospital again without my newborn.

In the last 4 years we've been through so much - 2 lay offs, one or both of us being unemployed, law school/studying for the bar, a sick newborn, DH quitting his job to start his own practice and much more. We are getting on track financially since DH's law practice is finally at a point where he's making a profit and paying himself. I honestly don't know if I want to mess with that just yet.

We don't have a car note now, which is really nice. We'd definitely have to get a new car bc we can't fit a 3rd carseat in the back. Also while we have 3 bedrooms, one of them is on the first floor and we're really uncomfortable with the idea of not being on the same floor with all the kids. I finally have the work/life balance
that's working for me and a 3rd kid would reek havoc on it.

DH and I agreed we'd revisit this topic around Jayden's 2nd b-day in March.

Message edited 6/11/2008 12:15:32 AM.