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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Am I Bad? (long) - UPDATE
***UPDATE*** I just gave my mom her photo book when she came to the house to watch DS. She LOVED it and cried her eyes out! So now there were 2 reasons it was good to give it to her alone... 1) Didn't make MIL feel bad. 2) Never fun to cry in front of other people!!!!
Thanks for the advice everyone! 
OK, so on Saturday morning, I got up early and made a photo book through Snapfish for my mom for Mother's Day. We had to leave the house, so by the time I finished with the book for my mom (and it took a while to make), DH and DS were up and we had to go.
I got it in the mail today and it's AWESOME! However, I did not make one for MIL. It was more personalized for my mom. DH saw it and said his mother is going to be jealous. In addition to that, on Mother's Day both my mom and MIL will be here together and I am worried about giving them their gifts at the same time because I know MIL is the type of person who will, let's just say, use her body language and voice tone to display her true feelings.
Also, DH hasn't figured out what he wants to get his mom yet... hello, it's almost THursday already. This happens every year for birthdays and holidays that we have to get last minute gifts and I guess this year I was tired of figuring it out and just focused on my mom.
Am I bad because I didn't make a photo book for MIL? Part of me feels guilty and the other part does not at all. I am almost wanting to give my mom her gifts on Friday when she is here and give MIL her gift (whatever that is) on Sunday morning before my mom gets here to avoid any drama.
Sorry so long, just looking for opinions!
Message edited 5/9/2008 9:33:22 AM.
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Posted 5/7/08 10:18 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
I don't think so.
I don't buy the same gifts for my mom and MIL. I would try to find something that is equally thoughtful but not the same thing, unless it was something I know they both really wanted.
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| Posted 5/7/08 10:23 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
no because it's really not YOUR obligation to give a special gift to MIL... it's DHs...
you know?
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| Posted 5/7/08 10:25 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
I probably would have made two books. It may not have been as personal as the one for my own mother, but I would have one for both moms.
If you think your MIL would be hurt, jealous or have an attitude about not getting one, I would give your mother her book seperately.
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| Posted 5/7/08 10:30 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
Posted by Christine
I probably would have made two books. It may not have been as personal as the one for my own mother, but I would have one for both moms.
If you think your MIL would be hurt, jealous or have an attitude about not getting one, I would give your mother her book seperately.
I agree.  Is there time to order another one and pay to have it rush shipped? Or can you make a scrapbook type album (or have DH!  )
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| Posted 5/7/08 10:32 PM |
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JenniferH
LIF Adult
Member since 8/07 1109 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
Honestly, I don't think giving your mom such a personalized gift in front of your MIL is going to be a good idea. I know that your husband hasn't decided on what to give her yet...but, it will seem that you put so much thought into the gift for your mom, but, not for her.
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| Posted 5/7/08 10:32 PM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
Posted by JenniferH
Honestly, I don't think giving your mom such a personalized gift in front of your MIL is going to be a good idea. I know that your husband hasn't decided on what to give her yet...but, it will seem that you put so much thought into the gift for your mom, but, not for her.
I agree... and I think that is why I am going to give it to her separately. Ugh!
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| Posted 5/7/08 10:36 PM |
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JenniferH
LIF Adult
Member since 8/07 1109 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
Posted by jerseypanda
Posted by JenniferH
Honestly, I don't think giving your mom such a personalized gift in front of your MIL is going to be a good idea. I know that your husband hasn't decided on what to give her yet...but, it will seem that you put so much thought into the gift for your mom, but, not for her.
I agree... and I think that is why I am going to give it to her separately. Ugh!
Smart move...avoid the drama! Good Luck!
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| Posted 5/7/08 10:38 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
Posted by JenniferH
Posted by jerseypanda
Posted by JenniferH
Honestly, I don't think giving your mom such a personalized gift in front of your MIL is going to be a good idea. I know that your husband hasn't decided on what to give her yet...but, it will seem that you put so much thought into the gift for your mom, but, not for her.
I agree... and I think that is why I am going to give it to her separately. Ugh!
Smart move...avoid the drama! Good Luck!
Agree! My MIL treats me like dirt so she wouldn't get the same gift as my mom but I would give it seperately.
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| Posted 5/7/08 10:48 PM |
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nicrae
He's here!
Member since 12/06 9289 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
I don't think that you should have to give them the same gift. I do however think it would be better to keep the peace and give them their presents seperately.
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| Posted 5/7/08 11:08 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
No, I think what you are doing is fine.
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| Posted 5/7/08 11:11 PM |
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Diana712
RIP my beloved Brother Richard
Member since 5/07 6710 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
Posted by Christine
I probably would have made two books. It may not have been as personal as the one for my own mother, but I would have one for both moms.
If you think your MIL would be hurt, jealous or have an attitude about not getting one, I would give your mother her book seperately.
ITA!! This is your best bet.
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| Posted 5/8/08 8:08 AM |
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
This weekend, can you pick up a frame and make a collage for your MIL? Even if it is just a special frame with 3-4 pictures, it would be nice.
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| Posted 5/8/08 9:54 AM |
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Jackie24
~We Did it~
Member since 7/06 6718 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
i dont think its bad, maybe you can make MIL one for her bday
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| Posted 5/8/08 9:55 AM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
Posted by carolinep24
no because it's really not YOUR obligation to give a special gift to MIL... it's DHs...
you know?
Exactly.
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| Posted 5/8/08 10:00 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
Posted by dilb712
Posted by Christine
I probably would have made two books. It may not have been as personal as the one for my own mother, but I would have one for both moms.
If you think your MIL would be hurt, jealous or have an attitude about not getting one, I would give your mother her book seperately.
ITA!! This is your best bet.
I agree.
While it should be DH's job to honor his mom, it is your job also to honor her as a MIL.
If your mom always went above & beyond for you versus your MIL, I would say get whatever gift reflects those feelings.
In the end the question is....
You know your MIL is going to be hurt, do you care?
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| Posted 5/8/08 11:36 AM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
Posted by Christine
I probably would have made two books. It may not have been as personal as the one for my own mother, but I would have one for both moms.
If you think your MIL would be hurt, jealous or have an attitude about not getting one, I would give your mother her book seperately.
I agree.
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| Posted 5/8/08 11:38 AM |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: Am I Bad? (long)
call your mom and tel lher you made a special gift for her and you did not make same for MIL.
then give your mom her gift later or something. but i would not give it to her in front of mil
and dh is responsible for his mom so you are not wrong by any means
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| Posted 5/8/08 1:37 PM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Am I Bad? (long) - UPDATE
Bump for update.
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| Posted 5/9/08 9:33 AM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Am I Bad? (long) - UPDATE
Posted by Christine
I probably would have made two books. It may not have been as personal as the one for my own mother, but I would have one for both moms.
I as well would have made two books. I'm always the one responsible for Mother's Day, Bdays, etc for both Mom's. My DH is never the one with ideas for his Mom, its always me. Beings its done, I would give your Mom's gift privately because yes it would hurt MIL's feelings.
Message edited 5/9/2008 9:45:27 AM.
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| Posted 5/9/08 9:44 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I Bad? (long) - UPDATE
Posted by kerrycec03
Posted by Christine
I probably would have made two books. It may not have been as personal as the one for my own mother, but I would have one for both moms.
I as well would have made two books. I'm always the one responsible for Mother's Day, Bdays, etc for both Mom's. My DH is never the one with ideas for his Mom, its always me. Beings its done, I would give your Mom's gift privately because yes it would hurt MIL's feelings.
That's how it was for me too. I took care of gifts for both families and he did other things like dig my mother's car out when it snowed with out being asked.
To the OP -- I am glad your mother loved it!!
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| Posted 5/9/08 9:51 AM |
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