Am I a terrible friend??

Dh and I are having superbowl sunday and have invited a bunch of people. I am not inviting one of my best friends b/c we all can't stand her boyfriend. Long story why, but he cheated on her for 8 months - need I say more. Am I terrible for not even telling her that we are having a superbowl party? None of us can stand to be around him

Message edited 1/27/2006 11:14:46 AM.

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

I don't think you are a terrible friend, but at the same time, when it gets back to her - and it always seems to get back - I'm sure she will be VERY hurt. I don't know what I would do, probably invite them - maybe more last minute and tell her you thought you already had, and hope that they already have plans.

Does she know how you all feel about her boyfriend?

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

hmmmm....i am the same way.

I get very protective over my friends. But ultimately you are punishing your friend, not the azzhole guy...

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

I don't think you are a terrible friend but she's going to be very hurt if she finds out. Unfortunately, it's her choice who she wants to be with. If it were me, I would invite her because she is one of my good friends. You don't have to be nice to the boyfriend though.

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

I would invite her...don't punish her because of the boyfriend.

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

I had the same problem. I had to tell my friend I didnt like him and I couldn't and wouldnt hang out with him. Her yes but not with him...

She broke up with him. She saw what everyone was saying I would tell her you can come but he can't

Message edited 1/27/2006 11:33:37 AM.

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

I would invite her, maybe they already have plans and you will be in the clear.

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

you're going to look like the bad guy when it gets back to her

and it will

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

Posted by mrsv1015

Posted by Boobobunny

I would invite her...don't punish her because of the boyfriend.

I agree... just pee in his beer

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

I think pretty much everyone she knows (family included) has told her that she needs to get away from him, but she refuses. Why, no one has a clue. I agree that it is not fair to her, but I can stand the smug looks on his face - like "i know you all know what I did and I got away with it" - makes me want to strangle him!!

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

In that case, if she already knows, can you invite her and tell her that you would love for her to be there, but that her boyfriend being there would make everyone uncomfortable and you'd rather she not bring him?

Honestly though, I'm not sure how that would fly either, but if she knows why you all dislike him so much, I would think maybe she would understand??

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

I would worry that the message I'd be sending would be that "we don't support you" even if the end of that is supposed to be "we don't support you if you continue to date this guy."

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

I would have invited her - and not the BF

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

I think thats kind of rude and she can't be one of your best friends if you would even consider that IMO
ETA: Just ignore him, it's her decision if she wants to be with him. You have to accept people for who they are

Message edited 1/27/2006 2:35:01 PM.

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

I almost think that if I tell her that she can't bring him that she will be even more offended.

Re: Am I a terrible friend??

I think you should invite her, and her SO...and grin and bear it, it sounds like there will be enough people there to balance him out...