Advice Needed - When to tell

Hi everyone - I'm new here and I need some advice. We just found out that we're expecting DC #2 and we are more than thrilled! I'm trying to figure out when to tell immediate family. My SIL is going to have her first baby in about 3 weeks and I don't want to steal the spotlight. Should I tell the immediate family early before she has the baby or should i wait until the normal 8 - 12 week window? I'm only about 4 weeks now. I want to do the right thing. We are all very excited about my new niece's/nephew's arrival and I don't want to take away from that.

Re: Advice Needed - When to tell

I don't think you would steal her thunder at all. It's nice that you are considering her feelings, but do what YOU want to do. If you want to tell now, then go for it. A baby is a blessing, and you announcing that you are pregnant will not take away from her baby's arrival

Congrats!

Re: Advice Needed - When to tell

I would wait. Congrats!

Re: Advice Needed - When to tell

My SIL has two children and I would be really upset if 3 weeks before my first is born, she announced that she was pregnant with her third. I would completely feel like it's stealing my thunder. I can totally see why you're asking.

If you can wait until somewhere between 8-12 weeks and let her have her child first then tell, I think it might be better.

That's just from the "other woman's" point of view. A good part of me that isn't selfish says that this is a very important part of your life, too, and you have as much right as anyone to announce your pregnancy at any time you're comfortable doing so!

You know your family much better than I do. Is she the jealous type? Has she been very generous and thoughtful throughout her pregnancy? Has she said anything to you about you getting pregnant again while she was pregnant?

Having cousins who are only 8 or 9 months apart in age could be wonderful, especially if you live very close to each other, so she might welcome the news and be really excited.

This is such a personal decision. As much as I'd be selfishly sad if my SIL made this kind of announcement that close to my first's birth, I'd also be happy to share in her excitement. It might be best just to tell.

Re: Advice Needed - When to tell

I would just wait 12 weeks because I feel it to be more fun. I would tell who I need to tell so i dont burst but not to worry about stealing peoples thunder its a life here we r talking about not a new car.

Re: Advice Needed - When to tell

Posted by Diana1215

I don't think you would steal her thunder at all. It's nice that you are considering her feelings, but do what YOU want to do. If you want to tell now, then go for it. A baby is a blessing, and you announcing that you are pregnant will not take away from her baby's arrival

I totally agree! congrats!!!!

Re: Advice Needed - When to tell

Thanks for the input. I'm really torn on what to do. If I didn't have the situation with my SIL I probably won't tell anyone this early. i would wait to see the heartbeat at 8 weeks and then tell. That's the way we did it with my first baby. It's just that the 8 week mark is only about 2 weeks or so after my SIL's baby is born. I wouldn't say she is the jealous type but having been through the experience already I wouldn't want to take any specialness away from her. I want her to have as an amazing experience as I did. I honestly don't know how she'd feel either way (and you know how the hormones can be all over the place). i guess that's part of the problem.

Re: Advice Needed - When to tell

I think if you wouldn't normally tell this early, I wouldn't change that just because she's about to give birth. By the time you have your 8-week appointment, she should be home with her baby and on cloud 9 and would probably love to hear your news. You can test the waters after that appointment and see where everyone is and how she's doing, then tell like you usually would.