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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Advice and You
How do you react when you give someone advice and they choose not to take it?
Do you get angry? Do you refuse to offer further advice? Do you follow up to see how their own decisions panned out in the hopes that you can be smug if they didn't work out well?
Or do you put it out there and hope that the person finds a way that works for them - be it your way or another way?
Edited for cr*ppy spelling!
Message edited 2/27/2008 7:38:36 AM.
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Posted 2/27/08 6:56 AM  |
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HelenZ
So worth the wait :)
Member since 10/07 2862 total posts
Name:
Helen
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Re: Advise and You
there's someone in my life right now who really really needs good advice......although I give her advice, I do understand that its a tough situation she's in and she's going to have to work through it at her own pace (not mine).....so I might refrain from giving her advice on this more than I already have, since I know in a sense it falls on deaf ears, and I wouldn't want to seem like I'm pushing my opinions on her.
I think your question also kind of depends on what you're being asked for advice on.......a personal/emotional situation, where there's more at risk. Or, something more simple like asking for advice on which car to buy or something lol
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| Posted 2/27/08 7:19 AM |
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ctrain1124
Our Gang!
Member since 8/07 3190 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Advise and You
I think advice is just an option. People may ask because they need other opinions or alternatives to a issue. That dont mean they necessarly have to use it. I have had people ask me for it, then choose other options. I dont think nothing is wrong with it, but yes it does frustrate me at times!
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| Posted 2/27/08 7:34 AM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advise and You
Advice is just that, you don't have to take someones advice, its just a suggestion to try to help someone. I don't mind if someone does't take my advice, I am not the boss of them.
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| Posted 2/27/08 7:36 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Advice and You
I agree. Just when people give me advice and I don't take theirs. Just because *I* think I'm right (OK, I KNOW I'm right...  ), doesn't mean it's actually good advice.....
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| Posted 2/27/08 7:48 AM |
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dgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/07 1079 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Advice and You
Posted by rojerono
Or do you put it out there and hope that the person finds a way that works for them - be it your way or another way?
This is pretty much where I'm at with advice.
I do get frustrated when the person asking for advice doesn't listen and it's the same problem over and over but I would still offer more advice if the problem persists. Although I would likely be saying the same exact thing as last time. I don't mind repeating though.
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| Posted 2/27/08 8:06 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Advice and You
I put it out there, even if I know they wont take it, because they may find something in it they can use.
however, I do get annoyed when people constantly ask for my advice and constantly don't take it, especially when it means that they continue to be in the same situation over and over.
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| Posted 2/27/08 8:11 AM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: Advice and You
I try to remind myself that advice is meant to help others. So there's really no good reason for me to be angry because then I'm taking the focus away from the purpose - to help someone else and not myself.
If I'm continually asked for advice on the same subject over and over, and the person is in a repeating pattern, I stop giving the advice. I simply say, "You already know how I feel about it."
I think a lot of people will use asking for advice as a screen. That they don't really want it, and have no intention of taking it, they just want to talk. They want someone else to enter into a dialogue about it. And the best way to get someone to talk to you is ask them how they feel about something.
The only exception to all this is when someone is putting their own or someone else's life in danger. Then it becomes more than simply advice - it may be cause for more drastic measures.
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| Posted 2/27/08 8:26 AM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Advice and You
I limit when I give adivce, and try to talk through situations with my friends in order for them to come to their own conclusions. When I do give advice, I certainly don't always expect it to be followed.
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| Posted 2/27/08 8:33 AM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice and You
Posted by greenfreak
I try to remind myself that advice is meant to help others. So there's really no good reason for me to be angry because then I'm taking the focus away from the purpose - to help someone else and not myself.
If I'm continually asked for advice on the same subject over and over, and the person is in a repeating pattern, I stop giving the advice. I simply say, "You already know how I feel about it."
I think a lot of people will use asking for advice as a screen. That they don't really want it, and have no intention of taking it, they just want to talk. They want someone else to enter into a dialogue about it. And the best way to get someone to talk to you is ask them how they feel about something.
The only exception to all this is when someone is putting their own or someone else's life in danger. Then it becomes more than simply advice - it may be cause for more drastic measures.
ITA!
On the other side of that:
When I ask for advice, I really do want to hear what they have to say. If I'm asking you, it means I respect and value your opinion.
Talking to that person helps me see other sides of a situation, solutions I haven't been able to come up with myself, and probably a more diplomatic way of saying or doing something to make it better. I can be a little harsh and blunt, and filtering stuff through other people softens it.
Message edited 2/27/2008 8:39:13 AM.
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| Posted 2/27/08 8:37 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Advice and You
i have a friend who is always asking for advice regarding one specific aspect of her life... from myself and others as well. she never takes our advice but continues to complain. at this point, i have stopped offering advice and just listen to her when she complains - that's all she really wants anyway.
as for everyone else, i don't mind when they ask for my advice and don't take it... sometimes you just need to ehar another POV to make the decision you were going to make in the first place.
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| Posted 2/27/08 8:40 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice and You
Posted by racheeeee
Advice is just that, you don't have to take someones advice, its just a suggestion to try to help someone. I don't mind if someone does't take my advice, I am not the boss of them.
Exactly. I have a friend who keeps making the same mistake over and over and over. Everytime she is making it she asks me for advice. I always tell her the same thing and she says, "you're right, you're right." And then she ignores it. What can I do?
I just hope she eventually finds happiness and be there for her in the meantime.
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| Posted 2/27/08 9:26 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Advice and You
Posted by rojerono
Or do you put it out there and hope that the person finds a way that works for them - be it your way or another way?
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and I'll take it a step further.
anyone that does feel smug when someone doesn't take their "advice" and is further hurt by the situation, ***** quite frankly.
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| Posted 2/27/08 9:56 AM |
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