Mom's with more than 1 DC, and no close family

I am currently pregnant with #2, due any day now. My closest family members are my IL's and they are 45 minutes away, my parents are over 2 hours away. My main concern is waiting for them to get here. I hear all these stories that the 2nd one goes faster, and what if we don’t have that kind of time?!?! In 2 weeks they will be going to my SIL’s for my niece and nephew’s birthday party, SIL lives 2.5 hours away.

I have a friend or 2 who are close, but I hate to ask them to take care of DD (21 months). I just feel like that’s a lot to ask of someone. I don’t know.

We have had babysitters in the past, but they usually come at dinner time/bedtime and we just put her to bed and they are there when she’s sleeping most of the time. I think I have issues thinking that other people can’t take care of DD like I can. Maybe I have a control issue here.


So my question is if you didn’t have anyone to take care of older DC’s, how did you or would you handle that 45 minutes to 2 hours waiting for grandparents to get here so you could go to the hospital to give birth?


TIA!

Re: Mom's with more than 1 DC, and no close family

I would imagine even if they lived close by it would take some time to get there. My in-laws are actually only about 10 minutes away, but my parents are about 40. My parents will be the ones staying overnight though with DC and our pup.

I've already told them to have their bags packed and to be ready to come at any hour of the night. I don't think waiting an hour will be too bad. I think it would take us at least that long to get out the door.

I suppose our back-up plan would be to call the MIL/FIL. Perhaps you should have a close friend/neighbor nearby ready too just in case. My in-laws will have a car seat in their car in case DC is in daycare when it happens.

So much more complicated this time around huh?

ETA: I don't think it is too much to ask at all! If a friend asked me to do the same I would be happy to help! I think your DD will be just fine and you can check in on them often. Good luck!

Message edited 4/9/2012 12:25:41 PM.

Re: Mom's with more than 1 DC, and no close family

I was in your position with baby #2 with DH's family about 2 1/2 hours away.

There was no way for me to wait for DH's family to come over and watch DS. I gave birth less than 1 1/2 hours after my water broke at home. We originally had no intention of impeding on our neighbors (though we get along well!), but when it was time, they were the only ones free.

Our neighbors ended up watching DS initially until DH's coworker could come over. Then, she babysat until DH's family could make it.

I would tell your close friends that you want to put them on your list of people to call when it's time. You never know what'll happen. Labor is so unpredictable!

Re: Mom's with more than 1 DC, and no close family

Well, I wasn't in this position for my second, but if/when we have a third, we most certainly will be. DH's family lives OOS-Colorado. My family right now is about an hour away, and by the time we have a third, they will be at least 2 hours away. DH and I haven't discussed this yet, since it's really far away, but I've thought about it. I figured if labor seems to be progressing fast, we'll take the kids with us and have my parents meet us there. Not the best plan, but we do what we have to do. There's also a good chance they'd be in school (preschool)/daycare when it happens, so then my parents would just have to make it in time to pick them up.

Re: Mom's with more than 1 DC, and no close family

I am not preggo with a second yet but I do live 3 1/2 hrs from both sides of the family. I have thought about this. I really don't know but these are the scenarios I have come up with:

A) We have a babysitter in our building that I could potentially call. Depending on the time of day. I could ask her in advance to be "on call."

B) I have a friend who is a nanny that I met here and see all the time. Again, I could ask in advance.

C) We take dd to the hospital with us and hope that someone can make it to pick her up, or someone there to watch her. Have no idea about that but I am sure it has happened before.

D) Around the due date, arrange for family, friends to come visit and stay with you and hope you go into labor when someone is there.

It's a tough situation. I was in labor for 16 hours with DD, so I don't see the second being much faster, so I would hope it would buy me some time.

Wanted to add: I had a friend that went into labor in the middle of the night and called their neighbor/friend and they brought ds over there still practically sleeping. I would def arrange something with someone very close inc ase you can't wait.

Message edited 4/9/2012 3:18:29 PM.