What is Motherhood like?

Get your tissues - it's a tear jerker.....

Just got this in an email:

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her
husband are thinking of "starting a family."

"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I
should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more
spontaneous vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying
to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never
learn in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will
heal, but, becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional
wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper
without asking, "What if that had been MY child?"

That every plane crash, every hous e fire will haunt her. That when
she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything
could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think
that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will
reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That
an urgent call of "Mom!"
will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a
moment's hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has
invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by
motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be
going into an important business meeting and she will think of her
baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline
to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want=2 0my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be
routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room
rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That
right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming
children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed
against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that
restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess
herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that
eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never
feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once
she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save
her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to
accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will
become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband
will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is
careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his
child.. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him
again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women
throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk
driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your
child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly
laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the
first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so rea l it actually
hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed
in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I
reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a
silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women
who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends
who may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who
is in your heart.

Re: What is Motherhood like?

That was beautiful!

Re: What is Motherhood like?

I got this before I had a baby and it hits me much harder now.

Two weeks ago, my DS was recovering from a stomach virus and was crying because he was hungry. He had just started being able to keep food down so I was nervous about how much too feed him. I was talking with DH about how upsetting it was to hear those cries and I can't even imagine how a mom could bear to listen to her child crying from hunger.

You really don't understand it until you're there. Great post.

Re: What is Motherhood like?

I am in tears. No truer words have ever been uttered....

Re: What is Motherhood like?

Re: What is Motherhood like?

thanks for sharing

Re: What is Motherhood like?

Thanks for sharing.