2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

DS will be a month old this Thursday. I was kinda hoping I would have gotten into a groove by now, but I'm still feeling as though I am struggling.

My DD is 19 months. Poor thing, she has been so stir-crazy because I am terrified to leave the house with both of them by myself

It's absolutely amazing to me the way my day runs...DD wakes up, I take her downstairs and EVERY SINGLE TIME, while I'm making her breakfast, DS wakes up, and wants to eat NOW. It's almost like they plan it.

My DS is the only newborn I know that refuses to sleep during the day. He will keep himself awake so long that he usually passes out HARD...right as DD is waking from her afternoon nap. Happens every time.

Thank GOD my DH works from home, he has been a huge help when I'm ready to tear my hair out, but I'd like not to have to depend on him so much.

Just wondering how long it took all of you to adjust. Do you feel that things got easier as time went on, or did you just get better at managing everything?

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

i was not a 2 under 2-DD was 24 months exactly when DS came home from the hospital. the only thing that made it ok was that DS did sleep a lot as a NB so i feel sorry for you that your DS is up a lot like that. it might take longer than a month to find a groove...give it more time. i thought the early weeks were the worst! but i hate the NB stage so that's just me. for me, i think it took 3 months or so and then i felt some sort of flow and predictability. and now 12 months after things are SOOOOOOO easy compared to then. truly it gets better in time-there is no doubt, so hang in there! also, i found that wearing DS was very helpful if you can do that. i also kept him swaddled in his miracle blanket in his moses basket and he slept the day away in there. those 2 things helped a lot. i also MADE myself go out with them. once i knew i could do it i felt so much better and confident. i made it quick little trips to the food store or even the park to eat lunch with DD while DS slept in his infant carrier/stroller. try to get out-do you have a double stroller for walks? this saved my sanity!

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

I wasn't 2 under to but honest to God I feel like it took me 6-9 months to adjust to having 2. I had a super high needs baby and it was all I could do to take care of basic needs. I think it all depends on the kind of baby you have. Have you tried a sling or bjorn or and Ergo (baby might be too young for the Ergo).

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

I would say that it took me about six weeks until I was okay with being out and about with both of them, and getting them ready to leave the house on time to get Noah to school etc. One thing I learned is that its okay if the baby is in her pajamas or if the dishes are still in the sink, as long as they are fed and watered, Noah has his school uniform on and is at the school gates on time(ish) we are okay! I can always shower later if need be!!

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

My boys were 14 months apart. It definately takes some time to get the groove on. A month is a bit soon especially if the baby doesn't like to nap.
Regarding leaving the house - I only brought them to a store where we could use the shopping carts for awhile. That way the older one isn't as tied down as the stroller and the baby could go in the back.
Go to the park and leave the baby in the stroller next to you as your older one runs around a little.
Take baby steps :)

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

My kids are 22 months apart

I would say about the 3-4 month mark---it DOES get better--i promise

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

not a 2 under 2 mom, but after a few weeks I found what worked for me.

if they are both up, I take care of my older DD first. get her set up and then I feed the younger.

so far, it seems to work.

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

Never got a chance to respond to all of you (maybe because my 1 month-old doesn't nap! ) but THANK YOU for all of the words of wisdom.

This is so hard. I knew it would be hard, but I guess I would have thought I'd have acclimated by now. I guess I'm probably expecting just a bit too much of myself!

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

My kids are 11 months apart. It took a couple of months to get into the groove, i'm not going to lie.

And it took 5 months until they napped at the same time!!

Thank heaven for that!

FM me if you would like to chat!

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

Honestly, a week. I don't know why it took so little time, but I felt like everything fell in place right away for me. I'm sure it helped that the recovery for me was faster this time.

I just feel like this time we're more 'winging' it.

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

my boys ar e 3 months old and i still am not in a groove
i might be there soon, hopefully!!

i am still tryiing to figure out different routines for myself.. whatever is working best.

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

Well, it's not a clear answer for me. I'd find a groove, then would lose it because my kids' schedules were changing. My babies are 13 months apart. Found a groove within the first week. 3 weeks, newborn became super fussy. lost the groove for a bit and then found a new groove dealing with a baby who never napped, and a toddler who was changing the length and timing of her naps. I think by 2 or 3 months I had a nice groove. Doesn't mean it was easy--i just knew how to deal with it and accepted some moments of insanity. Meal times were hardest because both my kids get cranky when they are hungry. The baby is now 6 months and I love it.

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

My DS 20 months apart. I thought I started to find my groove when DS2 was around 2 months but then he was similiar to your DC and wouldn't sleep during the day. HE was so unhappy in his carseat and I couldn't go anywhere without planning it so that he would sleep in his carseat and that would only last 30 minutes! So my groove took a little longer. I would plan short trips like Target or a walk and that would be it for the day. Add teething and sleeping nights to that, and I was really struggling during the day. DS2 is now 5 months and I'm just finding it easier and less stressful to do things without planning every second to the T. He's finally happy in his car seat when he's awake.

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

my boys were 16 months apart. i would say it took me about a month and then i just went through my day. it didn't get easier till about 5-6 months later though.

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

My kids were 20 months apart. It took my until DS was about 16 months and DD was 3 in order to get myself in order. Not easy

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

I was a 2 under 2 mom. My oldest was 14m old when the baby was born. The baby is a year old this week... I still hardly feel I have a groove. In fact, I share with you the feeling of sheer terror at taking both of them out. I will not to this day go into a parking lot where I have to unload both with cars zooming by unless I have another adult to help. That's just me, my old car was hit on the side in a parking lot spot and I always imagine how if there had been a stroller there, it would have been a disasterous. I envy mom's who get 2 or 3 years with just one child b/c I know my older DD misses out really badly.

With that said, I love my DD#2 to pieces and couldn't imagine life without the 2 of them. #2 is starting to stand and cruise and her big sister who is now 27m is her biggest cheerleader... which is so nice... I think I pushed my sister when she started to stand as I was 4 and had the worst sibbling rivalry.

I've learned to do little things with each child independently since getting 2 out can be tough, but we do manage that too, just I usually do try to have someone with me. Double strollers are a b*tch to get through shopping aisles, restaurants, etc. And I've been through 2 strollers. Regardless, my thinking is now that the little one is 1, and will be weaning off bottles and eating more table food it'll be much easier to get out with them. For about 8 months or so we were feeding someone every 2 hours, you can't do anything and if you do you have to pack for a week to go to grandma's for 5 hours. We do a lot of trips to Grandma's house, that's the big day trip and are trying the petting zoo friday. It helps me to remember that as much as this is chaotic for me and I'm not as popular as I used to be with anyone in my circle b/c I really don't have time, one day my kids will have eachother and they really do have a special relationship being so close. You get used to it all and I do think it gets easier, just takes a while. I think when they are 3 and 2 it'll be better. JMO

Re: 2 under 2 moms--how long did it take to find your "groove"?

I think if you force yourself to go and get out that it will all fall into place and won't be as hard as you think it's going to be. I was out very early with the twins because I HAD to be...it wasn't hard, but nursing both of them and them not taking a bottle just meant I had to feed them wherever I was. The other one learned to wait

Now with 3 I just got my triple stroller and can't wait to get out alone. I was having to go out with someone with the snap and go and double. IT SUCKED having to have to bring someone with me everywhere.

I am sure it seems overwhelming but as soon as you go out and show yourself you can do it, it won't seem so bad.