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blustar214
So in love with my little girl
Member since 1/10 2471 total posts
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12 week old - bedtime routine
What is your bedtime routine for your 2.5-3.5 month old?
Does your DC cry during this bedtime routine? If so, for how long?
Once you put them in the crib, how long do they cry/fuss before they go to sleep for the night??
Having trouble with creating a bedtime routine with DD. Since she's so young she doesn't have a set bedtime yet, and by the time we realize that she's ready for bed she's pretty cranky and we only have time to bf, swaddle, calm (b/c she's crying), and put her down.
She has been taking A LOT longer to settle down the past two weeks, anywhere from 30-60 minutes of us soothing her, putting her down in her bassinet, then she'll sleep or be quiet for a bit, then cry, repeat...
From 3 weeks to 10 weeks she was SO easy. I'm not sure what we're doing wrong now, but I think she's way too upset at bedtime. She must be overtired, but whenever we try and put her to sleep 'earlier', she still doesn't fall asleep until about 9pm.
Help!!!!!
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Posted 9/19/11 9:16 PM  |
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Richmar00
LIF Infant
Member since 6/11 148 total posts
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Re: 12 week old - bedtime routine
If 9pm seems to be her natural time to fall asleep, don't fight it. Go with it for now. Her bedtime will eventually get earlier - even as early as 6 or 6:30pm for a period of time.
Try to begin soothing routines from 1/2 hr to and hour before you put her down. At 12 wks, if I remember correctly, there's also a growth spurt.
I followed a book on sleep which I feel helped me tremendously. I've recommended quite a number of times already because I truly feel that it helped me establish good sleeping habits for my DD - including daytime naps.
At 12 wks, babies can handle only about 1.5 to 2 hrs of wakefulness during the day. They nap quite a bit during the day still
This is the link for the book. HTH
I just want to edit to add that I recommend that you continue any routines that you have already established for your DD. She will "get" it. Promise 
Message edited 9/19/2011 9:32:28 PM.
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| Posted 9/19/11 9:30 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: 12 week old - bedtime routine
hmmm IDK if this will help you or not... BUT what I try to do...
I have a 12w old DD. I know it's a little less than the age range you asked for...but we have been doing this since 6w old.
Every other night or every 3rd night I give her a bath. Then I massage her and put her pj's on. Sometimes I sing to her when I do it, if not then I talk to her. She's all smiles. If I give a bath i TRY for around 7ish. My goal is sleeping by 9.
Then she gets a bottle and I read her a bedtime story OR I sing more.
I also have these really soothing things for her .. i have that constellation turtle which lights little stars all over the room... and i Have this thing on the crib that plays music and projects images onto the ceiling. SHE LOVES it.. she stares at it as I feed her and she drifts off to sleep watching it.
If I don't give her a bath... I'll start the pj's and bottle etc routine around 8. My goal is for her to be asleep by at least 9, if not earlier.
SOMETIMES when I put her down in the crib ... she wakes up... I usually just leave her. I know she's tried and will fall asleep if I leave her alone. I will though, replay the projector for her since that has soothing music and the image for her to stare at.. and I do try to give her a pacifier. She doesn't always take the paci.. sometimes she spits it right out other times she takes it and immediately passes out with it.
thats about it... she falls asleep then. I think the soothing part really helps her.. the bath and massage, and the projector with soft music and the star lights. it sets a really nice bedtime mood. even I fight to stay awake during that bottle.
And a good friend just bought her the seahorse lullby thing.. it's like a gloworm but a seahorse and much cuter if you ask me. I had her sitting in the rock and play with it and after I played it, i saw her start to drift off... so I started her routine a bit early tonight.
I think it's important to look for clues. the first sign of tiredness.... it's off to bed! don't wait it out.
good luck. i know it can be hard for some babies to wind down and just go to sleep. some just don't like to sleep (my dd fights it, especially during the day!!).
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| Posted 9/19/11 9:35 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: 12 week old - bedtime routine
If you lay her down does she always cry? can you just lay her in the crib and leave her?
Have you tried the crib or something else other than the bassinet? I have a friend who was having a similar issue and changed the baby from the bassinet to the crib and that solved the issue. the baby started sleeping longer too.
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| Posted 9/19/11 9:39 PM |
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blustar214
So in love with my little girl
Member since 1/10 2471 total posts
Name:
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Re: 12 week old - bedtime routine
Posted by Richmar00
If 9pm seems to be her natural time to fall asleep, don't fight it. Go with it for now. Her bedtime will eventually get earlier - even as early as 6 or 6:30pm for a period of time.
Try to begin soothing routines from 1/2 hr to and hour before you put her down. At 12 wks, if I remember correctly, there's also a growth spurt.
I followed a book on sleep which I feel helped me tremendously. I've recommended quite a number of times already because I truly feel that it helped me establish good sleeping habits for my DD - including daytime naps.
At 12 wks, babies can handle only about 1.5 to 2 hrs of wakefulness during the day. They nap quite a bit during the day still
This is the link for the book. HTH
I just want to edit to add that I recommend that you continue any routines that you have already established for your DD. She will "get" it. Promise
Thanks! I have this book and just started reading it a few weeks ago when I saw her patterns changing. She kind of stopped napping on her own during the day, and she was really overtired at night. I try my best to put her down for naps at the 1.5-2 hour mark, but she often won't sleep, or if she does it's for 20-40 minutes max.
I just feel horrible because she's a great sleeper (goes down at 9ish and sleeps until 5:30-7), but I'm clearly doing something wrong since she's so crying/cranky when we go to put her down.
Message edited 9/19/2011 9:41:19 PM.
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| Posted 9/19/11 9:40 PM |
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blustar214
So in love with my little girl
Member since 1/10 2471 total posts
Name:
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Re: 12 week old - bedtime routine
Posted by MrsKS
If you lay her down does she always cry? can you just lay her in the crib and leave her?
Have you tried the crib or something else other than the bassinet? I have a friend who was having a similar issue and changed the baby from the bassinet to the crib and that solved the issue. the baby started sleeping longer too.
This has been going on for about 10 days, and she's pretty much been fussy/crying each night. Sometimes before her last feed, sometimes once we swaddle her.
I soothe her by hugging her to my body and singing to her, then when i feel her relax a bit I put her in the bassinet and sing and rub her tummy.
We always stop rubbing, soothing, singing, etc., when she's still awake but calm because I just can't get into a scenario where we need to rock her to sleep each night, as horrible as that might sound of me. I just know that neither DH nor I can do that night after night.
She's still in the bassinet too, which she really should be out of already. We can't decide where to put her next. DH is adamant that he doesn't want her sleeping in her own room until 6 months., whereas I'm kind of ready for her to be in her crib at this point.
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| Posted 9/19/11 9:44 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: 12 week old - bedtime routine
Posted by blustar214
She kind of stopped napping on her own during the day, and she was really overtired at night. I try my best to put her down for naps at the 1.5-2 hour mark, but she often won't sleep, or if she does it's for 20-40 minutes max.
I just feel horrible because she's a great sleeper (goes down at 9ish and sleeps until 5:30-7), but I'm clearly doing something wrong since she's so crying/cranky when we go to put her down.
My DD doens't nap during the day either... she only sleeps MAYBE 20 mins if she naps during the day. she's a cat napper.
so when bedtime rolls around.. she's exhausted. I can see it in her eyes. she just likes to be awake.
I don't think you are doing anything wrong. I think it's more of an issue with her daily naps that are causing the problem.
I've been thinking about ways to start my DD with a set nap during the day... just because i feel like she NEEDS to have at least two 2 hour naps a day. she gets cranky around 6ish... she's not too bad when she's a cranky baby... just gets a little fussy. but i can't help but think if she slept more during the day she might be better come early evening. I just don't get much of a problem when I do her bedtime routine.
I'm going to try to put her down midday with somewhat of a bedtime routine to see if that gets her to sleep for at least 2 hours. I'm also going to put her in her crib for it. Hopefully that works.
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| Posted 9/19/11 9:49 PM |
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blustar214
So in love with my little girl
Member since 1/10 2471 total posts
Name:
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Re: 12 week old - bedtime routine
Posted by MrsKS
My DD doens't nap during the day either... she only sleeps MAYBE 20 mins if she naps during the day. she's a cat napper.
so when bedtime rolls around.. she's exhausted. I can see it in her eyes. she just likes to be awake.
I don't think you are doing anything wrong. I think it's more of an issue with her daily naps that are causing the problem.
I've been thinking about ways to start my DD with a set nap during the day... just because i feel like she NEEDS to have at least two 2 hour naps a day. she gets cranky around 6ish... she's not too bad when she's a cranky baby... just gets a little fussy. but i can't help but think if she slept more during the day she might be better come early evening. I just don't get much of a problem when I do her bedtime routine.
I'm going to try to put her down midday with somewhat of a bedtime routine to see if that gets her to sleep for at least 2 hours. I'm also going to put her in her crib for it. Hopefully that works.
I hope it works for you!
I feel like DD was the easiest baby from 3-10.5 weeks, so I guess now I feel like I'm messing her up in some way. Plus I just feel awful when she's crying like she has been, I just feel like I'm missing her bedtime window.
And the only sort of 'routine' we've been doing with her lately is nursing in the chair in her room, swaddle, rock & sing. I've tried to incorporate a book, but by the time we realize that she's tired she won't sit for it 
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| Posted 9/19/11 9:54 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: 12 week old - bedtime routine
Posted by blustar214
Posted by MrsKS
If you lay her down does she always cry? can you just lay her in the crib and leave her?
Have you tried the crib or something else other than the bassinet? I have a friend who was having a similar issue and changed the baby from the bassinet to the crib and that solved the issue. the baby started sleeping longer too.
This has been going on for about 10 days, and she's pretty much been fussy/crying each night. Sometimes before her last feed, sometimes once we swaddle her.
I soothe her by hugging her to my body and singing to her, then when i feel her relax a bit I put her in the bassinet and sing and rub her tummy.
We always stop rubbing, soothing, singing, etc., when she's still awake but calm because I just can't get into a scenario where we need to rock her to sleep each night, as horrible as that might sound of me. I just know that neither DH nor I can do that night after night.
She's still in the bassinet too, which she really should be out of already. We can't decide where to put her next. DH is adamant that he doesn't want her sleeping in her own room until 6 months., whereas I'm kind of ready for her to be in her crib at this point.
I agree with not wanting to have her hooked on you or your DH putting her to sleep each night. You aren't wrong for that an don't sound bad at all either. She needs to be able to self soothe.
Is there a particular reason why he doesn't want her in the crib until 6 months?
I felt like 6 weeks was perfect for us. Mostly because I wanted her to get used to the crib well before any preferences are set; which I think happens around 4 to 6 months. I didn't want to get into a bind where she would sleep in the rock and play and never her crib (I didn't have a bassinet, it was the rock and play for us). I also wanted to get her used to laying flat (I think the bassinet is already flat but the rock and play isn't). And i felt it would help her to learn how to self soothe if she weren't right next to me with me there doing something to help her back to sleep (rock her, sshhh her - that for some reason calms her down, pet her, etc).
ETA: I just realized you said in her room.. not necessarily a crib issue.
Is it a safety thing? Is he worried about her being so far away or something? If that's the case I'd then suggest a compromise being to get a monitor like the angel care one that has the pad under it and if there's no movement for some time frame (I forget) an alarm will sound. or a monitor similar to that one.
the only other things i can think of other than a bassinet are the rock and play sleeper, a pack and play, and i think that's all that's coming to mind.
Message edited 9/19/2011 10:03:56 PM.
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| Posted 9/19/11 9:56 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: 12 week old - bedtime routine
Posted by blustar214
Posted by MrsKS
My DD doens't nap during the day either... she only sleeps MAYBE 20 mins if she naps during the day. she's a cat napper.
so when bedtime rolls around.. she's exhausted. I can see it in her eyes. she just likes to be awake.
I don't think you are doing anything wrong. I think it's more of an issue with her daily naps that are causing the problem.
I've been thinking about ways to start my DD with a set nap during the day... just because i feel like she NEEDS to have at least two 2 hour naps a day. she gets cranky around 6ish... she's not too bad when she's a cranky baby... just gets a little fussy. but i can't help but think if she slept more during the day she might be better come early evening. I just don't get much of a problem when I do her bedtime routine.
I'm going to try to put her down midday with somewhat of a bedtime routine to see if that gets her to sleep for at least 2 hours. I'm also going to put her in her crib for it. Hopefully that works.
I hope it works for you!
I feel like DD was the easiest baby from 3-10.5 weeks, so I guess now I feel like I'm messing her up in some way. Plus I just feel awful when she's crying like she has been, I just feel like I'm missing her bedtime window.
And the only sort of 'routine' we've been doing with her lately is nursing in the chair in her room, swaddle, rock & sing. I've tried to incorporate a book, but by the time we realize that she's tired she won't sit for it
what if you just set a time to start? like say.. bedtime routine starts at 7pm each and every night. rather than hindsight realizing that you could have or should have started earlier?
I think once they are on a set time schedule it helps with their internal clock as well.
the same issue was kind of happening to me too. I would look at her... and she looked exhausted and it was almost 10pm. I just figured she'd fall asleep when she was ready (this was when she was really really young... maybe a month old). And I would think to myself.. I should have put her to bed an hour ago. So then I realized I should just set a time and do a routine with her... and I figured the earlier I start the better.
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| Posted 9/19/11 10:00 PM |
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blustar214
So in love with my little girl
Member since 1/10 2471 total posts
Name:
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Re: 12 week old - bedtime routine
Posted by MrsKS
I agree with not wanting to have her hooked on you or your DH putting her to sleep each night. You aren't wrong for that an don't sound bad at all either. She needs to be able to self soothe.
Is there a particular reason why he doesn't want her in the crib until 6 months?
I felt like 6 weeks was perfect for us. Mostly because I wanted her to get used to the crib well before any preferences are set; which I think happens around 4 to 6 months. I didn't want to get into a bind where she would sleep in the rock and play and never her crib (I didn't have a bassinet, it was the rock and play for us). I also wanted to get her used to laying flat (I think the bassinet is already flat but the rock and play isn't). And i felt it would help her to learn how to self soothe if she weren't right next to me with me there doing something to help her back to sleep (rock her, sshhh her - that for some reason calms her down, pet her, etc).
'
There is a SIDS website that says to keep the baby in the room with parents until 6 months as a prevention tool, so that is why DH is adamant about her staying in our room until then.
sids info
One of the other sites suggested that when they are in the same room as you they mimic your breathing patterns, no clue if that is true or not, but I have strangely noticed that if I wake up at some point in the middle of the night and don't move out of bed I have heard DD moving around too. Who knows what comes first though - her or me moving/waking each other up! Luckily she hasn't actually woken up at that time of night!!
I don't 'blame' him, SIDS is beyond scary, but I wish that she could be settled in her crib a bit before 6 months.
Message edited 9/19/2011 10:05:30 PM.
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| Posted 9/19/11 10:04 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: 12 week old - bedtime routine
Posted by blustar214
Posted by MrsKS
I agree with not wanting to have her hooked on you or your DH putting her to sleep each night. You aren't wrong for that an don't sound bad at all either. She needs to be able to self soothe.
Is there a particular reason why he doesn't want her in the crib until 6 months?
I felt like 6 weeks was perfect for us. Mostly because I wanted her to get used to the crib well before any preferences are set; which I think happens around 4 to 6 months. I didn't want to get into a bind where she would sleep in the rock and play and never her crib (I didn't have a bassinet, it was the rock and play for us). I also wanted to get her used to laying flat (I think the bassinet is already flat but the rock and play isn't). And i felt it would help her to learn how to self soothe if she weren't right next to me with me there doing something to help her back to sleep (rock her, sshhh her - that for some reason calms her down, pet her, etc).
'
There is a SIDS website that says to keep the baby in the room with parents until 6 months as a prevention tool, so that is why DH is adamant about her staying in our room until then.
sids info
One of the other sites suggested that when they are in the same room as you they mimic your breathing patterns, no clue if that is true or not, but I have strangely noticed that if I wake up at some point in the middle of the night and don't move out of bed I have heard DD moving around too. Who knows what comes first though - her or me moving/waking each other up! Luckily she hasn't actually woken up at that time of night!!
I don't 'blame' him, SIDS is beyond scary, but I wish that she could be settled in her crib a bit before 6 months.
I've heard about that before. SIDS is incredibly scary. I do understand.
I didn't realize that was why at first... my DD nursery is within sight of my bedroom. Actually, i can see her laying in her crib from where i lay in bed. It's very close. I can hear her moving in bed and all from my bed.
SIDS is why I have no bumpers on my crib.
IDK if this is possible at all..but can you maybe put her crib in your bedroom? It would only be temporary but then she would be in the crib.
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| Posted 9/19/11 10:28 PM |
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