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Juliet
Family is Complete!
Member since 5/05 5913 total posts
Name:
Juliet
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Bringing stress upon myself
Why do I make things more stressful and anticipate things that haven't happened?
I had a midwife appt today and my next one is scheduled for the Monday after Thanksgiving (great day to be weighed in, huh?)
Well, MIL will be visiting then and I can't help but worry that DH will want me to take her with me to an appt because my mom came with me today and heard the heartbeat (DH had to work and then head to grad class so he couldn't make it)
He may not ask me, but I see this being something that he would in a tit for tat "your mom went, my mom should go, too" kind of way.
1. How do I politely say no to her coming? (this is MY body and I have a right to have MY mom with me if I want)
2. How do I not stress about something that hasn't even happened yet?
Message edited 10/19/2006 5:07:05 PM.
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Posted 10/19/06 5:06 PM  |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Bringing stress upon myself
First of all, if you DH is anything like mine he won't even think of this. I wouldn't worry about it.
I did bring my MIL to my doctor appointment and we aren't that close. It wasn't so bad.
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| Posted 10/19/06 5:11 PM |
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Juliet
Family is Complete!
Member since 5/05 5913 total posts
Name:
Juliet
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Re: Bringing stress upon myself
Posted by CkGm
First of all, if you DH is anything like mine he won't even think of this. I wouldn't worry about it.
I did bring my MIL to my doctor appointment and we aren't that close. It wasn't so bad.
Sadly, my DH actually does think of these things. I have mentioned other things that I have to do while MIL is here (in an effort to let him now how stressed I am) and instead of being sympathetic, he has suggested that I bring her. This one, with the chance to hear the heartbeat, would be perfect in his eyes.
I don't hate her, but I took her to my wedding dress fitting two years ago and that was overbearing enough. She practically pushed my own mother aside to tell the seamstress what to do. I can imagine with my midwife MIL will her what to do as well.
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| Posted 10/19/06 5:17 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Bringing stress upon myself
I would bring your MIL to hear the heartbeat. It is one time and it would make your DH and her happy. It's her grandchild too, plus she lives so far away. Imagine how you would feel if your DH excluded your Mom from something like this. I'm sure your midwife will be able to handle her
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| Posted 10/19/06 5:21 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Bringing stress upon myself
Trust me, no is more overbearing than my MIL and she was over-joyed to be asked. She was very nice in the visit and even told the doctor she felt better knowing I was in good hands.
So for a 10 minute visit, I don't think its worth the fight.
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| Posted 10/19/06 6:30 PM |
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Bringing stress upon myself
I would offer to bring her (And your mom too!) before he even says anything. Its amazing how your having a child can change your relationship with your MIL (sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse). Why not reach out to her - even though it is your body - it is just as much her grandchild as it is your moms.
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| Posted 10/19/06 7:55 PM |
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Claud
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/05 759 total posts
Name:
Claudine
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Re: Bringing stress upon myself
Posted by Stacey1403
I would bring your MIL to hear the heartbeat. It is one time and it would make your DH and her happy. It's her grandchild too, plus she lives so far away. Imagine how you would feel if your DH excluded your Mom from something like this. I'm sure your midwife will be able to handle her
Totally agree. You are celebratiing and anticipating new life, Juliet. Try to look at the positive aspects, not the negative.
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| Posted 10/19/06 7:59 PM |
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landj
After 4 years, 1000 posts!
Member since 7/06 1124 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Bringing stress upon myself
Juliet,
I understand what you are saying. I am very private about these things and feel that my OB visits are even more personal. I have brought DH to some and brought my Mom with me to the UltraScreen and Level II. That's it. The only person who will be with me when I give birth will be my DH. Everyone else will be in the waiting room. I would politely tell your DH that going to the midwife is an extremely personal thing and there are plenty of other things you can do with your MIL to make her feel special about her soon to be grandchild. Maybe DH won't even ask. I wouldn't worry about it too much unless it comes up. Even then, you have time to think about ways to incorporate your MIL into the planning without feeling overwhelmed.
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| Posted 10/19/06 8:09 PM |
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Charly
LOVE!
Member since 5/05 12578 total posts
Name:
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Re: Bringing stress upon myself
Posted by Stacey1403
I would bring your MIL to hear the heartbeat. It is one time and it would make your DH and her happy. It's her grandchild too, plus she lives so far away. Imagine how you would feel if your DH excluded your Mom from something like this. I'm sure your midwife will be able to handle her
I totally agree with Stacey. They really don't do much at these visits that invades your privacy (its not like an internal). I think its less stressful to just let her come the visit is only 5 minutes.
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| Posted 10/19/06 8:13 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Bringing stress upon myself
Posted by Stacey1403
I would bring your MIL to hear the heartbeat. It is one time and it would make your DH and her happy. It's her grandchild too, plus she lives so far away. Imagine how you would feel if your DH excluded your Mom from something like this. I'm sure your midwife will be able to handle her
totally agree!!
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| Posted 10/19/06 9:31 PM |
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