how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

with my making strides in preparing for SO's surprise party, i was quickly reviewing the guest list to see how many addresses i still need to collect.

it hit me that i don't know if there are any different etiquette rules for addressing an envelope for a same-sex couple.

i haven't met these ladies; i've only texted with one... to get their addresses.

should i address it:

Jane and Dawn Smith
Mrs. and Mrs. Smith
The Smiths

TIA

Re: how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

Do they have the same last name? I’d probably just use first and last name of them both.

I’m not in a same sex relationship, but I would get annoyed with things being addressed Ms. And Mrs. So option 1, if they have the same last name.

how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

i think option 1

how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

I would do the last one if they share a last name. I'm not very formal with this stuff though.

how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

sorry, forgot to say that they do share the same last name.

Re: how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

Re: how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

I think the 2nd is the correct formal version, but for a birthday party ( or a Christmas card,etc) I would do #1.

#3 is fine, but if they have children ( or any other family members living with them) using "The Smiths" implies the whole family is invited, so just in case they're not, be mindful when you use that.

It would be fine for something like a Christmas card.

Re: how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

I’m not in a same sex relationship, but I asked my aunts who are, and they said Mrs. and Mrs. Smith or The Smiths. They feel that writing first names implies one is the “male” in the relationship.. they are also in their 70s so I’m not sure if they are just very old school as well. I’d probably write The Smiths bc they aren’t formal invites and I tend to do that a lot with my invites bc it’s easier

how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

when I addressed our wedding invite to my sister and her wife, we wrote "Mrs. Jane and Jane Doe"

Re: how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

Re: how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

The Smith Family or The Smiths

how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

Are they married? I'm guessing yes, since you said they share the same last name. But I think it makes a difference in how to address the envelope. If they are not married, then I would do what I would do for any unmarried couple living together:

Jane Smith
Joann Smith
123 Main St
Anytown, NY

Re: how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

The proper formal way to address them is:

Mesdames Jane and Joan Doe
-or-
Mmes Jane and Joan Doe
(with the first names listed alphabetically)

Also acceptable is:
Mrs. Jane and Mrs. Joan Doe

for an informal invitation, I would do:

Jane Doe & Joan Doe
-or-
Jane & Joan Doe

If you want to avoid "Mrs." and use "Ms." for both it would be:

Mss. Jane & Joan Doe
-or-
Mses. Jane & Joan Doe

how to properly address an invite to a same-sex couple?

looks like going with option 1, is acceptable for a not-so-formal invitation.

thanks everyone.

eta: with first names in alphabetical order.

Message edited 1/29/2018 5:49:30 PM.