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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Teacher picking on my child
My daughter in 12th grade is very cookie cutter, never any problems, honor student, very polite(usually quiet is what most teachers say) Her one teacher really is picking on her and she doesnt want me to say anything. He calls her out on not paying attention(she said she was looking at her notes) She goes to extra help, she said she was two minutes late(yes she was wrong and I told her this shouldn't happen agian) She said she is never late but there was traffic for some reason getting to school and she missed every light. He goes out of her way to embarrass her in front of the class.
Her grades are pulled down by this class. Im worried hes deliberately doing this because for some reason he doesn't like her.
I keep telling her she has a few more months, she got accepted and going to a great college with scholarship and I am worried about this class.
She begged me not to say anything. But now its just getting worse and I am afraid he will take it out on her if I say something but how much more can she take?
Message edited 4/5/2017 12:56:03 PM.
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Posted 4/5/17 12:54 PM  |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Teacher picking on my child
I'm not in any way saying that the teacher is right, but I would leave it alone. At this point, like you have said, she is already accepted to a great college and only has a few months left. Try to see it as a life lesson - there could be situations like this in college that she will have to learn to deal with on her own. If she is asking you to leave it alone, then I think that is what you should do.
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| Posted 4/5/17 1:25 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by chilltocam
I'm not in any way saying that the teacher is right, but I would leave it alone. At this point, like you have said, she is already accepted to a great college and only has a few months left. Try to see it as a life lesson - there could be situations like this in college that she will have to learn to deal with on her own. If she is asking you to leave it alone, then I think that is what you should do.
I agree. She is pretty much an adult and has to start learning to handle situations and when she does make a decision - you have to accept her decision.
It stinks as a mom though. 
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| Posted 4/5/17 1:29 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by chilltocam
I'm not in any way saying that the teacher is right, but I would leave it alone. At this point, like you have said, she is already accepted to a great college and only has a few months left. Try to see it as a life lesson - there could be situations like this in college that she will have to learn to deal with on her own. If she is asking you to leave it alone, then I think that is what you should do.
I agree. She is pretty much an adult and has to start learning to handle situations and when she does make a decision - you have to accept her decision.
It stinks as a mom though.
I agree
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| Posted 4/5/17 1:40 PM |
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Teacher picking on my child
I know you guys are right! I may have to say something when the year is over(she said thats fine) In all her 18 years never had anything like this..
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| Posted 4/5/17 1:42 PM |
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evrythng4areason
And then there were 4
Member since 1/10 5224 total posts
Name:
Kayla
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Teacher picking on my child
I agree with the other posters. Are her grades affected? What kind of course is it?
Not like 2nd semester senior grades really matter though.
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| Posted 4/5/17 1:59 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
If she were younger, I'd raise the issue. But she's 17 or 18 and off to college in a few months where you won't be able to help her. Leave this alone, especially because she asked you to.
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| Posted 4/5/17 2:17 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Teacher picking on my child
I will be the odd one out. As a former high school teacher, I can confidently say 12th graders are not college students and shouldn't really be treated like they are. I wouldn't call out the teacher for picking on your kid but maybe just send a quick email saying dd is concerned about her grades and you want to know if there's anything additional she should be doing. That alone may make the teacher see her in a different light, maybe he just has the wrong impression and thinks she doesn't care and isn't trying for some reason. I agree that it is a life lesson, but the lesson is how to be proactive and speak up with grace, not to learn how to just deal with it imo.
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| Posted 4/5/17 2:50 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by MrsT809
I will be the odd one out. As a former high school teacher, I can confidently say 12th graders are not college students and shouldn't really be treated like they are. I wouldn't call out the teacher for picking on your kid but maybe just send a quick email saying dd is concerned about her grades and you want to know if there's anything additional she should be doing. That alone may make the teacher see her in a different light, maybe he just has the wrong impression and thinks she doesn't care and isn't trying for some reason. I agree that it is a life lesson, but the lesson is how to be proactive and speak up with grace, not to learn how to just deal with it imo.
But shouldn't it be the student who approaches the teacher with those questions? I would think the teacher would have a lot more respect for a student who politely approached the teacher rather than having a parent do it. By "deal with it" , that's what I meant - not just ignore the situation, but handle it in the way that she (the student) sees best, and not rely on her parent to address the situation for her
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| Posted 4/5/17 2:54 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by MrsT809
I will be the odd one out. As a former high school teacher, I can confidently say 12th graders are not college students and shouldn't really be treated like they are. I wouldn't call out the teacher for picking on your kid but maybe just send a quick email saying dd is concerned about her grades and you want to know if there's anything additional she should be doing. That alone may make the teacher see her in a different light, maybe he just has the wrong impression and thinks she doesn't care and isn't trying for some reason. I agree that it is a life lesson, but the lesson is how to be proactive and speak up with grace, not to learn how to just deal with it imo.
I like this approach.
As for letting the student deal with it by themselves, some kids aren't that comfortable with confrontation just yet.
And still look at the teacher as a superior (as they should) and it could be intimidating.
Just my opinion of course
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| Posted 4/5/17 2:57 PM |
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Ugh i had a teacher like that in either the 11th or 12th grade. He just hated me and i had no idea why. Everything i did was wrong. i was an honors kid and he gave me the worst grade ever. We just did not get along. I still vividly remember that. it was traumatizing. i didnt want to go to class. as long as she is still attending and fine with sticking it out on her own, let it go. I don't think saying anything will help the situation unfortunately.
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| Posted 4/5/17 2:58 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by MrsT809
I will be the odd one out. As a former high school teacher, I can confidently say 12th graders are not college students and shouldn't really be treated like they are. I wouldn't call out the teacher for picking on your kid but maybe just send a quick email saying dd is concerned about her grades and you want to know if there's anything additional she should be doing. That alone may make the teacher see her in a different light, maybe he just has the wrong impression and thinks she doesn't care and isn't trying for some reason. I agree that it is a life lesson, but the lesson is how to be proactive and speak up with grace, not to learn how to just deal with it imo.
But shouldn't it be the student who approaches the teacher with those questions? I would think the teacher would have a lot more respect for a student who politely approached the teacher rather than having a parent do it. By "deal with it" , that's what I meant - not just ignore the situation, but handle it in the way that she (the student) sees best, and not rely on her parent to address the situation for her
I completely agree with this.
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| Posted 4/5/17 4:47 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by MrsT809
I will be the odd one out. As a former high school teacher, I can confidently say 12th graders are not college students and shouldn't really be treated like they are. I wouldn't call out the teacher for picking on your kid but maybe just send a quick email saying dd is concerned about her grades and you want to know if there's anything additional she should be doing. That alone may make the teacher see her in a different light, maybe he just has the wrong impression and thinks she doesn't care and isn't trying for some reason. I agree that it is a life lesson, but the lesson is how to be proactive and speak up with grace, not to learn how to just deal with it imo.
But shouldn't it be the student who approaches the teacher with those questions? I would think the teacher would have a lot more respect for a student who politely approached the teacher rather than having a parent do it. By "deal with it" , that's what I meant - not just ignore the situation, but handle it in the way that she (the student) sees best, and not rely on her parent to address the situation for her
I guess I just assumed the kid is not willing to do that considering she wants her mom to leave it alone. I was a shy kid in school and I never would have gone up to a teacher to discuss anything really. To a high school student, attending extra help once in a while (or even regularly) is often their way of showing concern but when that's not enough they don't want to do anything further. There's still more than 2 months of school left, I don't think it can hurt to ask.
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| Posted 4/5/17 7:39 PM |
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Dolphinsbaby
My 3 little guys!
Member since 12/10 2943 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by BaysideForever
Ugh i had a teacher like that in either the 11th or 12th grade. He just hated me and i had no idea why. Everything i did was wrong. i was an honors kid and he gave me the worst grade ever. We just did not get along. I still vividly remember that. it was traumatizing. i didnt want to go to class. as long as she is still attending and fine with sticking it out on her own, let it go. I don't think saying anything will help the situation unfortunately.
Me too! I hated going to that class. My mom met my asshat teacher at parent teacher conference (he was my ss teacher junior yet). He told her "the candle always burns brightest before it flickers out". She was like what the hell? She was so pissed off and even though I begged her not to she went to the dept chair. I'm guessing he had issues with other students too (he belittled many students in the class- he was from Europe and felt Americans were "dumb" and would never survive the education system there) because he was not there the following year.
As hard as it is, I would leave it alone.
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| Posted 4/5/17 8:04 PM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Teacher picking on my child
She's in the 12th grade so she should handle this on her own. She should absolutely have a conversation with the teacher and explain that she is trying hard in class, but prefers not to be called upon because she does not like to participate.
The teacher may not be picking on her. Maybe he is calling on her to get her to me more comfortable contributing to class discussion. It's an important skill for someone her age to learn, as public speaking is a major component to most careers. She will also most likely have to take public speaking in college anyway. Either way, if she isn't comfortable with it, I'm sure if she tells the teacher he will back down.
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| Posted 4/6/17 7:56 AM |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by mommy2be716
She's in the 12th grade so she should handle this on her own. She should absolutely have a conversation with the teacher and explain that she is trying hard in class, but prefers not to be called upon because she does not like to participate.
The teacher may not be picking on her. Maybe he is calling on her to get her to me more comfortable contributing to class discussion. It's an important skill for someone her age to learn, as public speaking is a major component to most careers. She will also most likely have to take public speaking in college anyway. Either way, if she isn't comfortable with it, I'm sure if she tells the teacher he will back down.
I don't think it should be ignored and agree that the student (not the parent) should discuss the situation with the teacher. If not comfortable with a face to face conversation, email. This is great practice for when faced with other uncomfortable situations that might occur in college or the workplace.
I don't think she should tell the teacher that she does not like to participate though. It is very possible that participation is a grading requirement for the class.
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| Posted 4/6/17 3:56 PM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by skew
Posted by mommy2be716
She's in the 12th grade so she should handle this on her own. She should absolutely have a conversation with the teacher and explain that she is trying hard in class, but prefers not to be called upon because she does not like to participate.
The teacher may not be picking on her. Maybe he is calling on her to get her to me more comfortable contributing to class discussion. It's an important skill for someone her age to learn, as public speaking is a major component to most careers. She will also most likely have to take public speaking in college anyway. Either way, if she isn't comfortable with it, I'm sure if she tells the teacher he will back down.
I don't think it should be ignored and agree that the student (not the parent) should discuss the situation with the teacher. If not comfortable with a face to face conversation, email. This is great practice for when faced with other uncomfortable situations that might occur in college or the workplace.
I don't think she should tell the teacher that she does not like to participate though. It is very possible that participation is a grading requirement for the class.
sorry, may not have specified enough. I agree that she shouldn't say she doesn't want to participate, but that she would participate on her own if she wants to. I don't think you need to be forced to participate, and as a teacher I rarely call on random students who don't have their hands raised. If the same students are participating all the time, then I will occasionally try to lure others into the conversation, but if I know a student doesn't want to be called upon, I don't force it
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| Posted 4/7/17 7:45 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7632 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by mommy2be716
sorry, may not have specified enough. I agree that she shouldn't say she doesn't want to participate, but that she would participate on her own if she wants to. I don't think you need to be forced to participate, and as a teacher I rarely call on random students who don't have their hands raised. If the same students are participating all the time, then I will occasionally try to lure others into the conversation, but if I know a student doesn't want to be called upon, I don't force it
Eh...I'm a teacher and I will cold call on students. I usually do this with simple questions to ensure that they get the correct order to boost their confidence. I feel like it is more likely that they will be paying attention then. If I waited for everyone to volunteer, I would literally have 3-5 students per class contributing and the rest of them zoning out. I have actually done away with a lot of cold calling since I started using Plickers in my room. It allows me to immediately assess everyone without calling on anyone. It has been a game changer and all students participate since all they have to do it raise a piece of paper that I scan with my phone.
As for dealing with the issue at hand, how is he picking on her? Is he cold calling her? I do not think that is picking on her. I also think calling her out for being late is not picking on her. I typically tell my students being late for class in unacceptable and have called kids out on it - specifically the ones that are frequently tardy.
If she doesn't want you to get involved, I would probably leave it alone. If she wants you to get involved, I would definitely CALL the teacher to address an issue like this; I would not want to do it over email. If the teacher's behavior does not change, I would contact the department head.
Message edited 4/7/2017 8:47:06 AM.
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| Posted 4/7/17 8:39 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by Dolphinsbaby
Posted by BaysideForever
Ugh i had a teacher like that in either the 11th or 12th grade. He just hated me and i had no idea why. Everything i did was wrong. i was an honors kid and he gave me the worst grade ever. We just did not get along. I still vividly remember that. it was traumatizing. i didnt want to go to class. as long as she is still attending and fine with sticking it out on her own, let it go. I don't think saying anything will help the situation unfortunately.
Me too! I hated going to that class. My mom met my asshat teacher at parent teacher conference (he was my ss teacher junior yet). He told her "the candle always burns brightest before it flickers out". She was like what the hell? She was so pissed off and even though I begged her not to she went to the dept chair. I'm guessing he had issues with other students too (he belittled many students in the class- he was from Europe and felt Americans were "dumb" and would never survive the education system there) because he was not there the following year.
As hard as it is, I would leave it alone.
What a jerk!
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| Posted 4/7/17 9:06 AM |
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Bugaboo
Relax!
Member since 5/05 2133 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by MrsT809
I will be the odd one out. As a former high school teacher, I can confidently say 12th graders are not college students and shouldn't really be treated like they are. I wouldn't call out the teacher for picking on your kid but maybe just send a quick email saying dd is concerned about her grades and you want to know if there's anything additional she should be doing. That alone may make the teacher see her in a different light, maybe he just has the wrong impression and thinks she doesn't care and isn't trying for some reason. I agree that it is a life lesson, but the lesson is how to be proactive and speak up with grace, not to learn how to just deal with it imo.
I agree with this. She needs to speak up for herself.
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| Posted 4/7/17 9:45 AM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by PitterPatter11
Posted by mommy2be716
sorry, may not have specified enough. I agree that she shouldn't say she doesn't want to participate, but that she would participate on her own if she wants to. I don't think you need to be forced to participate, and as a teacher I rarely call on random students who don't have their hands raised. If the same students are participating all the time, then I will occasionally try to lure others into the conversation, but if I know a student doesn't want to be called upon, I don't force it
Eh...I'm a teacher and I will cold call on students. I usually do this with simple questions to ensure that they get the correct order to boost their confidence. I feel like it is more likely that they will be paying attention then. If I waited for everyone to volunteer, I would literally have 3-5 students per class contributing and the rest of them zoning out. I have actually done away with a lot of cold calling since I started using Plickers in my room. It allows me to immediately assess everyone without calling on anyone. It has been a game changer and all students participate since all they have to do it raise a piece of paper that I scan with my phone.
As for dealing with the issue at hand, how is he picking on her? Is he cold calling her? I do not think that is picking on her. I also think calling her out for being late is not picking on her. I typically tell my students being late for class in unacceptable and have called kids out on it - specifically the ones that are frequently tardy.
If she doesn't want you to get involved, I would probably leave it alone. If she wants you to get involved, I would definitely CALL the teacher to address an issue like this; I would not want to do it over email. If the teacher's behavior does not change, I would contact the department head.
I use plickers too! It's awesome
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| Posted 4/7/17 10:17 AM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Teacher picking on my child
Posted by PitterPatter11
Posted by mommy2be716
sorry, may not have specified enough. I agree that she shouldn't say she doesn't want to participate, but that she would participate on her own if she wants to. I don't think you need to be forced to participate, and as a teacher I rarely call on random students who don't have their hands raised. If the same students are participating all the time, then I will occasionally try to lure others into the conversation, but if I know a student doesn't want to be called upon, I don't force it
Eh...I'm a teacher and I will cold call on students. I usually do this with simple questions to ensure that they get the correct order to boost their confidence. I feel like it is more likely that they will be paying attention then. If I waited for everyone to volunteer, I would literally have 3-5 students per class contributing and the rest of them zoning out. I have actually done away with a lot of cold calling since I started using Plickers in my room. It allows me to immediately assess everyone without calling on anyone. It has been a game changer and all students participate since all they have to do it raise a piece of paper that I scan with my phone.
As for dealing with the issue at hand, how is he picking on her? Is he cold calling her? I do not think that is picking on her. I also think calling her out for being late is not picking on her. I typically tell my students being late for class in unacceptable and have called kids out on it - specifically the ones that are frequently tardy.
If she doesn't want you to get involved, I would probably leave it alone. If she wants you to get involved, I would definitely CALL the teacher to address an issue like this; I would not want to do it over email. If the teacher's behavior does not change, I would contact the department head.t
ITA 100%
After being such a nice girl and good student all of these years, she's not going to start going rogue right now.
Definitely call him, leave a specific message with the secretary offering 2 times when it's best to reach you. It's so much easier to detect tone over the phone than in an email. I wouldn't make her go to him herself... yuck
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| Posted 4/8/17 1:36 AM |
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