If you have no family close by and young children ---

If you don't have any family or really close friends nearby, how do you manage? Emergencies, doctor's appointments, etc. Do you find it stressful? I did ok with one child but having two children now is definitely going to make this issue arise here and there.

If you have no family close by and young children ---

Well I'm kind of in that situation. I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 1 1/2 year old. My mother passed away 10 years ago, i have a strained relationship with my dad, we don't talk to dhs mom. Dhs dad and stepmom I don't trust with our kids.

I manage. I try to make drs appointments when at least one kid is in school, if not they both come with me. It is what it is.

Re: If you have no family close by and young children ---

My children are a little older now but they are 18 months apart and I had no real family that I could rely on to help out. I used to bring them with me if I could and I have hired help.

Re: If you have no family close by and young children ---

We're holding off on having another child for this reason and it makes me so sad. If I had a mom or mother in law to help in emergencies, life would be much less stressful.

If you have no family close by and young children ---

this is me!!!! and it absolutely KILLS me!! we have one son, who is 6 now- and we're about to adopt another son, who is 3 already.
my parents live 2 hours away, plus they're retired and travel about 5-6 months a year in their travel trailer (spend the winter in florida, etc).
My in laws are 4.5 hours away. my sister lives an hour away, and my DH doesn't have any siblings.
AND all my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc live 2 hours away, near where my parents live.
so, yeah, its ALL us, ALL the time. even with one kid its been exhausting and stressful- which is why it took us so long to make the move to adopt another child. its just little things- like you said. like the other night we had a viewing to go to- but we don't have our parents right here that could stay with DS. so one of us had to stay home. or things like back to school night, we both couldn't go. we pretty much never go out for date nights, because it ends up costing so much to pay a babysitter. and i think about things like emergencies-- who would stay with DS if i had to take DH to the emergency room for whatever reason?
And not only that--- but just the fact that DS is missing out on having his grandparents at any of his school stuff, soccer games, etc. and missing out on having the grandparents stop by randomly on a weekend and say "hey! let me take you out for ice cream" ( this is how i grew up... so it absolutely kills me!!!) and not to mention all the traveling to actually see our famiies- or cleaning and cooking so they can stay here for a weekend...
its TOUGH!!!! but it is what it is, and we've started to learn to rely on our friends. i think you kind of just have to let your friends be your family and make them a bigger part of your life, help each other out, etc.

If you have no family close by and young children ---

We have no family. It's just us. DH works 6 days a week. So most of the time everything is on me. I schedule appts around his school sched. We have 1 sitter that we know and trust but is she is not avail either DS goes with or we stay home. There are some days that I am super stressed and can not wait for DH to get home. But you do what you have to do. I'm hoping that as DS gets older and more active in sports/school that he will be out with friends more.

Re: If you have no family close by and young children ---

Re: If you have no family close by and young children ---

We make it work between us and could probably rely on neighbors or friends if there was a real emergency. We both have jobs now with much better hours and more flexibility so we can be available for sports obligations or stay home for sick days. My family and MIL live 2-2.5 hours away. FIL lives an hour away, but is pretty busy and not really available. Our jobs are pretty understanding and we've occasionally had to pick up one of our kids from daycare or school because of illness. DH has the ability to work from home on snow days. DH travels for work sometimes so that can be tough to balance.

Last year, I had what was supposed to be a fairly quick outpatient surgery. I ended up having emergency surgery again later that night. DH had to leave the hospital to get the kids and my parents drove up so he could get back to the hospital by the time I was in recovery. That was definitely tough and one of the times I wished we had family who lived closer.

I'm slightly worried for a similar childcare issue if I unexpectedly go into labor with #3 in the middle of the night. Last time, things worked out well even though I went into labor before my c-section date. I know we have people nearby who would take the kids during the day or early evening, but hoping to not have to worry about that this time.

If you have no family close by and young children ---

We live 3 hours away from all of our family. I schedule doctor appointments right after work and then pick my DS up from daycare. A few months ago we started using my friend's daughter as a date night babysitter. In an emergency, there are friends that could watch him.

Re: If you have no family close by and young children ---

I do have my parents on long island (not nearby), and that's great for an emergency, but they work long hours as does DH. I try to schedule things for weekends or when DH or my Mom can be home from work. For doctor appointments, I wish more were double stroller friendly. Going to a child's appointment was ok with two - the child not being checked out went in the single stroller. For my doctor appointments, I luckily have never had to bring them yet. I wish we had an urgent care place nearby so I could run in when DH gets home.

If you have no family close by and young children ---

We have no one. DH and I both work full time, DD is in daycare. I schedule doctor's appointments for evenings. If DD needs to be picked up early one of us has to leave work. We can't both stay late at work on the same day.

A big fear of mine is that I'll get into an accident on my way to pick her up and there will be no one to get her because DH is in the city and wouldn't get there before daycare closes.

We don't plan on having more kids and this is partially why.

Re: If you have no family close by and young children ---

I have cultivated a group of local friends who I would help and they would help me. We are all in similar circumstances where our families are in other states so we all understand the need to have someone to rely upon in an emergency.

Re: If you have no family close by and young children ---

All of our family is 2.5 hours away. We have 4 kids and it's stressful, when we had my 4th we had to wake up the 3 other kids at 2:30 am and take them to the hospital, my parents arrived literally minutes before I had to start pushing.

Doctors appts for the kids, they all just go, it's not a big deal, some people love to make stupid comments, but my kids are pretty well behaved, usually lol. If I have an appt, I need to schedule around my DHs work schedule, so I go early AM and he goes in late, or late at night. We are each others support and it works out ok for the most part. The hardest part is lack of date nights, only bc I don't want to leave them with strangers bc I'm paranoid after hearing some crazy stories, I just don't feel I can fully trust anyone.

As the kids are getting older and have more after school activities, it's getting harder. My DH coaches baseball and I coach soccer, and this spring season we have conflicting days, but we will just have to make it work.

Re: If you have no family close by and young children ---

It sucks lol

But I guess I just "do it". Kwim? And I always always have millions of snacks packed lol

Re: If you have no family close by and young children ---

Take the kids.
I've taken kids absolutely everywhere (including ERs).
My biggest issue was getting stuck at work or the emergency illnesses at school.

Re: If you have no family close by and young children ---

Re: If you have no family close by and young children ---

It is really hard but you do what you have to do. DD2 is 3.5 months old and no joke has already been quite the traveler because DD1 is so active. over February recess DD2 went to a bunch of play centers, the mall, to the park, etc. because it was just me. On top of that DH was away and I hate being stuck in a house. Every week DD2 comes with me to watch DD1 swim and on Thursdays she comes with me while my DD1 has play therapy. Saturdays DD2 gets a little break.
The saddest thing is we have family close by, they just don't have availability or interest in being involved in our DDs lives.

Re: If you have no family close by and young children ---

We moved to the DC area 5 years ago. We paid for help. We had a very reliable nanny.

It took us a while but we now have good friends we can reach out to in case of emergency. The only time we asked for it was when I gave birth to our third child last month. Our friend picked up our two kids from school, had a sleepover and dropped them off at school the next day.