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brooke23
LIF Toddler
Member since 3/11 482 total posts
Name:
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Please help- my heart is breaking
Dd is going to be 4 months on Tuesday. I go back to work one week later. It's been Dd and me day in and day out- DH travels 3-4 days a week and while I've taken Dd out it has not been that extensive. We have a nanny starting/ I started her last week to slowly transition. Well, Dd seems to be so attached to me already that she screams when the nanny holds her and is plain upset and crying. Actually, DHs sister is here this weekend and same thing with her. If it's not me, Dd is miserable. I don't really know how to go back to work if she's so upset. Do I just let her cry and hope for the best or assume she'll eventually get comfortable? I am not sure what to do and the thought of her screaming for 12 hours is too much to bear. Help!!!
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Posted 6/26/16 5:25 PM  |
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MrsB12614
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1986 total posts
Name:
Mrs
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Please help- my heart is breaking
She will be ok and get used to it. She's with you all the time and she's still small so you are her comfort. My niece screams bloody murder until my SIL picks her up or MIL. Day care- she's fine, she screamed the first week and now loves going and seems them M-F. She only sees me maybe 1-2x monthly and screams, same with my DH. Even my BIL can't hold her at times because as soon as she sees SIL she has to be held by her. She's 7 months now and adjusted. Just took a week or so. She will have a tough few days but I'm sure once she gets familiar she will do great!!!!
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| Posted 6/26/16 5:33 PM |
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DaisyGirl
LIF Adult
Member since 2/08 1650 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please help- my heart is breaking
I think it's worse when you are there and you try to get them to go to someone else. I think when you are not there, she will be fine with the nanny. Mine was always like that and did much better when I was not there. Good luck! It's hard but it will get easier.
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| Posted 6/26/16 5:38 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7632 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Please help- my heart is breaking
She'll be fine. My DS cries at drop off every day (he's 2), but is fine a few minutes after I leave. Out of sight, out of mind. In the beginning, he didn't even like my DH holding him.
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| Posted 6/26/16 6:45 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Please help- my heart is breaking
I went through the same thing with my 6 month old. Would scream bloody murder when anyone other than DH or I held her. She started daycare a month ago and went nuts the first few times I left.
It sucks, but you need to bite the bullet and go. You'll cry your eyes out the first one or two times but then you'll be ok, I promise!
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| Posted 6/26/16 9:26 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Please help- my heart is breaking
It will be better when your not there. She can see you and smell you and sense you. She knows your there and doesnt know why you wont hold her.
When your not there she will cry for a little bit but will be fine. The first week will be an adjustment and then it will be ok.
And for you its going to suck. Sorry just gonna be honest here. You will cry. You will feel yourself find 1000 reasons why you should be home and not go to work LOL But it all works out. and it will all be ok.
My dd is 4 and when I work from home shes WORSE with the babysitter than when Im at work. She wont stop coming into my home office. She doesnt want the babysitter to cook her food. Or go outside. She constantly wants mommy to do it cause she knows Im home. Ive had to lock the door and force her to go out with bribery LOL Its just what they do.
Eta: Best of luck! And its totally normal we have all felt that way!
Message edited 6/27/2016 7:53:25 AM.
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| Posted 6/27/16 7:52 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please help- my heart is breaking
She will be fine. To help her adjust, you need to leave. Go get your nails done, go food shopping. Get out for a few hours and a time.
I have 2 kids and I can assure you, it's harder on you than on them!
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| Posted 6/27/16 10:24 AM |
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brooke23
LIF Toddler
Member since 3/11 482 total posts
Name:
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Please help- my heart is breaking
Thank you all. A girlfriend of mine told me "oh she's too young to be attached" but for now it seems she is. I obviously want her to be able to be with others, be happy, be social etc. so I will just have to let her work it out....I guess I have this fear that I will be doing psychological harm to her by leaving or that she'll think I'm abandoning her and she'll be sitting in a shrink's couch 20 years from now :) I agree I will try to get out and do some things while the nanny is here. I will let them work it out so that she knows too that "mommy comes back." i guess. I'm going back 4 days a week so that is helping a bit with the guilt, but I commute into the city so those 4 other days are long days. UGH.
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| Posted 6/27/16 10:39 AM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please help- my heart is breaking
Posted by PitterPatter11
She'll be fine. My DS cries at drop off every day (he's 2), but is fine a few minutes after I leave. Out of sight, out of mind. In the beginning, he didn't even like my DH holding him.
Yes. She will be fine. The hardest part is going to be that your DH travels for work. We had that situation for a while
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| Posted 6/27/16 1:03 PM |
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