Debate with dh over video games

Need some perspectives here... Dh loves his violent video games. He has headphones, so I don't mind him playing when dd (3 years old) is asleep at night.

Today, he wanted to play while she was awake, in the middle of the afternoon, playing in th same room as the console. He thinks if she doesn't "hear" the guns, she will never figure out what's on the screen. I disagree - she's a sharp kid and I don't want her exposed to any violence.

Until we re-finish our basement, the tv in the living room is the only tv in the house we can hook his games up to.

Am I being a prude about this? Dh is a little pissed at me... Or am I right here?

Re: Debate with dh over video games

You're Right!! I would never allow my girls to be exposed to that. He can wait until she is asleep to play.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

I'm really laid back with most things but I do not like video games ,esp violent ones around my kids

Re: Debate with dh over video games

I wouldn't want my children to see violent video games either. I think you're right and your husband should save the violent games until your daughter is asleep.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

Eh, it doesn't bother me really. It also depends on the game- some of them are much worse than others. Fallout is pretty graphic where Call of Duty is not as bad IMO. Though, I'd hope he'd keep it to a minimum and spend time with our kid rather than play video games all afternoon.

ETA: Maybe my opinion is colored since I grew up playing DOOM on my dad's lap on the computer.

Message edited 12/29/2015 8:38:23 AM.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

I think in this instance I agree with you. Depending on the game...those images alone can be disturbing (even to me!) Maybe ask him to play some of his milder games when she is around if he just HAS to play with her there.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

I'm with you -

Debate with dh over video games

Totally on your side. I don't even put the news on when DD is in the room.

Debate with dh over video games

They are GAMES
Our cartoons were violent when we were kids. They've actually had to stop them for our children because heaven forbid our children see a violence.

I play video games. I play them in front of my daughter. She also has seen violent zombie movies and horror films. She thinks they are funny and stupid (because she knows they aren't real) I do not watch screamers or jumpers that will give her nightmares. I do not play suspense games that will spook her (Silent Hill) in front of her. But first person shooters and slashers games with flying blood and gore do not bother me or her in the least bit. Never have, never will.

She has always know those are mama's GAMES

They are NOT REAL

She is now 7 yrs old and knows what goes on in those games are not real life and actually IMPOSSIBLE to happen in real life. Because really can you jump off a building and just keep running? Can you just find random weapons on the ground? How about where are all the cops and people to help? Yeah it's NOT REAL.

The games have never been the problem. Its how we as players (which may I had the demographic is HEAVILY moving to WOMEN and more so in our 30s-40s) relay that to our children. Its how we explain that it's not real. That we turn it off. We pay attention to our kids and remember ourselves, as much as we say to our children, its JUST A GAME!

Further AJ has the power to veto anything we watch our one and only family TV. Including my games and movies. She has the right to say "Mama, I don't like this, it's scary" and I shut it down. IMMEDIATELY. No worries about save points or mid mission, mid boss fight. (ok, I hit pause tell her to go pee or grab some ice cream so I can save if I must) I explained a long time ago that she always has that right with my games. Because I never want her to be afraid of them. I also never want her to try thinking what is in them can be recreated in real life for 'fun'. More importantly I wanted her to know these games are not more important than her.

But I am a gamer. Have always been. Shall always be.

To add: if she says something's scary, we talk about what scares her and I find out if I can make it 'unscary' because I LOATH that kids at school set gender profiles that say girls should be afraid of spiders, dirt, bugs and science. No, kiddo... boys should be afraid of smart women. :) Nothing is scarier than a confident woman who knows that a bug is just a bug and science is a tool. So we work to unwork most scary things to being just science or movie magic of arts and crafts.



ETA: Ironically, I won't let her watch the News. Because that *IS* real.

Message edited 12/29/2015 9:36:03 AM.

Debate with dh over video games

I def see your point, but I feel like as long as his headphones are in, and she's not hearing anything - it's not that bad. I mean, if she stops and looks at the screen while he's playing, I'd prob ask him to turn it off. But if she's doing her own thing, I'd let him play. It's temporary anyway.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

There are studies that point to violence in video games leading to desensitization to violence and an increase in aggressive behavior. (Yes, I know there are also video games that say the opposite.) But for me, I just don't think my 3 year old needs to be exposed to that at a young age.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

My DD is 2 and is way more interested in what's on the TV than the sound coming from it. She will watch a show totally content while it's on mute.... So I would be inclined to say she can still get a pretty scary picture just watching.

Debate with dh over video games

With/Without Sound:

I prefer it with sound. But here's why. Without sound it's neutral, normal, pleasant, odd, ok, safe. With sound, it's shocking, loud, violent. It is what it actually is.

What game is he playing?

I don't want my daughter watching me walk around a pretend world shooting terrorist in total silence. I think that's sort of creepy. So would a silent Assassin walking around historic London slicing up Templar conspirators. The mental trap that it's not 'real' since its all nice and quite with tranquil sounds of happy home life while Mom kills of dozens is sort of off for me.

Hubby doesn't game. I do. So he calls me out when I have to stop and he puts limits how on I speak when I play. I'm not allowed to get too over the top. But I don't really see my games as 'violent' however, I can see how others can. Those games I do see as violent (like I said, shockers, jumpers, suspense) I don't play with her around.

What do you define as violent?

Technically Wile E Coyote is considered violent to some.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

Idk. I feel like the violence in the shows when we were kids was different. Idk if comical is the right word but I laughed when tinge coyote got a anvil
Dropped on him.

Grand theft auto is not the same lol

Debate with dh over video games

Agree with you. Really no need / benefit of exposing a 3 year old to it. Agree you can't shield them from everything forever, but you can when they are three.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

Thank you everyone, I've really enjoyed reading the various viewpoints and it has given me some food for thought (though my inclination is still to just wait until dd is in bed to play!)

Debate with dh over video games

I agree with you. There's a time and place and in front of a child is neither.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

I'm with your husband, I don't see the big deal. My stepsons has played those games around my niece and now my son. There has been no impact. My son doesn't even play any video games or ask to play them.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

I hate those games and I think even exposing them to the images and fast movements on the screen is not good.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

To be honest, it depends on the game. I normally don't mind DD being in the room with DH when he plays games. But the new FallOut is pretty graphic so I try to distract her with her toys,tablet etc. The rule with COD is that he MUST wear a headset at all times, and to curb his language but the graphics arent as gruesome as some others. But something like Mass Effect, Final Fantasy etc..doesnt bother me. I play Kingdom Hearts in front of her all the time and she never questions why Goofy is throwing a shield at some creature.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

I don't mind my DD even pretends To play them , we always told her the guns are laughing machines and they fall over laughing ... Works for us

Re: Debate with dh over video games

I spoke with my dh, he is a gamer. His response was would you let your three year old in the room while watching an r rated movie with subtitles? He also asked if you have a computer because windows ten and x box can stream directly to the computer. If you have a ps4 there is software you can get to do the same thing. It might be something to look into.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

right along there with you!

kids aren't idiots. As time goes on, she'll begin to watch more and more of the tv as he plays.

Nope. I wouldn't let my husband but i'm pretty anti video game as it is.

Re: Debate with dh over video games

dh has xbox and doesn't play the guns games while kids are up in the room only the sports one.. yeah occasionally the hockey guys have a fight but not with weapons...

and one of my kids in kindgarten a kid was telling him about his dad's gun and the kid was saying he(the 5 year old) was going kill a family... So no, gun games can wait til nap time or after bed.