am i alone? 9/11 related

it's been 14 years since that tuesday morning when the disgustingly oppressive heat and humidity of the day before was GONE. the weather had just turned and as i walked under the GW bridge, i said a little prayer and thanked God. fall was in the air.

and then the world changed.

am i alone?
it's been 14 years and i still can NOT read anything 9/11 related, i can't watch any of the movies about it, i can't watch any news report about it, i can't listen to any news stories about it.

i can't.
i just break down. i didn't lose a loved one, but i was there. i was in manhattan. i was supposed to take my aunt site seeing to the twin towers. she over slept and i was planning to go later in the day. i was supposed to be arriving or a few A train stops away from TWC.

so, i'm sorry. if you've posted something sad, poignant, uplifting, or a memorial of some sort... i will not be reading it. i just can't.

thank you for reading.

Re: am i alone? 9/11 related

I'm similar.

DH will watch the marathons on TV leading up to 9/11 but I can't.

I also try not to go on FB a lot because everything is a tribute of some sort, then some terrible Obama commentary about Muslims and then a fight.

am i alone? 9/11 related

DH was a First Responder on 9/11 - a day that changed him (and all of us) forever. He lost a very close friend and usually has a very hard time on this day (more so than most other days). Usually in the weeks leading up to 9/11, he watches every documentary shown and gets very "closed off" and depressed. I am happy to say that this year has been different. He is in Ohio where there is a museum that has his gear on display. Very long story, but he became friends with the museum curator after 9/11 and has stayed in touch and been involved with it ever since. He is there today, speaking before a group of firefighters and others at the museum and this afternoon at the city council. I am so proud of him. I think knowing that he would be doing this today allowed him to not fall in to a funk nearly as much as previously. Anyway, needless to say, 9/11 is a part of my life on a regular basis, so, I can't really relate to never reading about, hearing about or seeing anything related to this day. Yes, I watch the reading of the names every year and it makes me cry. And yes, so many other things about the memorials make me cry - but I'm OK with that. I'd be more worried if those things didn't have that affect. but, I can completely understand why you don't watch/read etc. It is very hard to do, even with it being a "regular" part of my life.

ETA: Aside from DH being very involved, my SS is in the Boy Scouts and their troop plays a part in the memorial service held every year at our high school. We always attend that as well (but will they will not this year b/c DH and SS are both in Ohio). So, even if I wanted to, there is really no "avoiding" it for me

Message edited 9/11/2015 12:28:01 PM.

am i alone? 9/11 related

I can't watch the news or the reading of the names. I just uncontrollably cry. I also can't watch the movies. I do.watch the documentaries even though they make me incredibly depressed.

Message edited 9/11/2015 12:07:42 PM.

am i alone? 9/11 related

i'm the same way. worked across the street and were there during it all. i remember it well enough on my own, i don't need the stuff thrown in my face non stop. i won't watch any of the movies or shows about it. brings back to many horrible memories.

Re: am i alone? 9/11 related

Re: am i alone? 9/11 related

I can't. I can in my mind still see it, hear it, and smell that God awful smell.
I used to look at the Twin Towers every morning during my commute into the city. Perfect vantage points from the Whitestone Expressway and again from the LIE.
Then again from my office window. Rarely look at the Freedom Tower now.

I was actually glad the wather was not so nice this mornig, clouds were covering the top of the new tower.
14 years ago the sky was pure blue until 8:26 am.

am i alone? 9/11 related

You are NOT alone. It is very painful to live through again. None of us will ever forget, or ever be the same for that matter. If you watch, if you don't watch. we will never forget!

Re: am i alone? 9/11 related

I am exactly the same way. I was there and terrified and can't look at anything 9/11 related. I can't wait till this day is over.

Re: am i alone? 9/11 related

Today is always super hard for me, it's the last full memory that I have of my dad. After 9/11 until Dec 2011 he did clean up at the trade center site and then died of a massive heart attack. So from Sept -dec it's a blur of him due to the long hours he was working. So the last real memory I have of him is from the morning of 9/11

Re: am i alone? 9/11 related

I avoid facebook today as well. It's just overwhelming and certain people I know post 100s of things. Pictures, videos, disturbing images, memes. Like non stop for days leading up and forget it today.
It's overload for me and I try to avoid it.
I don't need disturbing images and videos set to cheesy songs to remember.

am i alone? 9/11 related

Every year is hard for me to see the pictures and watch the news coverage but I usually do...this year for some reason is harder than previous years..not sure if it's my pregnancy hormones or what but I can't even bring myself to watch coverage which I usually do. For me the feelings will always be very raw and the memories very vivid. I worked and lived downtown during 9/11 and will NEVER ever forget the things I saw that day.

Message edited 9/11/2015 1:06:09 PM.

Re: am i alone? 9/11 related

I can't either and I didn't lose anyone personally. It just brings me to tears. I just think that this day affected everyone in so many different ways. I truly think it affected everyone in some way or another. Tragic tragic day. May we never forget.

am i alone? 9/11 related

I know what you mean. I can't watch the documentaries either. Every year I read a few memoirs of people who lost their lives, cry and say a prayer for them and all the victims and families. It's my own ritual that I do in private and my way of remembering. I watched the towers burn and fall from a far. It's an image I'll never forget.

am i alone? 9/11 related

You are definitely not alone. I will never forget that day, the eerie silence in the city, the sounds of the fighter jets overhead, the awful smell, the sight of the smoke rising over the city that seemed to linger there for days.

When I put on the tv this morning, they were covering the memorial and my eyes just filled with tears. I had to close my office door earlier because I went on facebook and was just overwhelmed by the pictures, statuses, etc. the tears just started rolling down my face.

I did not lose anyone I was close to, but I do know people that were lost that day. I used to work down there, the week before 9/11 I started a new job in midtown. I had originally planned to give my old firn asm 3-4 weeks notice, but the new firm needed me sooner. If not for them, I would've been there.

am i alone? 9/11 related

I haven't watched any documentaries. I usually watch the memorial service but not this year, the pregnancy hormones make it too hard

Re: am i alone? 9/11 related

Re: am i alone? 9/11 related

I cant watch much either. Born and raised in Bklyn, but i live in PA now. I was just out of college working part time for an accounting firm. I was just starting to make my way into the world.

the world changed for me that day.

and now I think how I will have to one day explain to my DS (who is almost 6 now) what happened on that terrible day.

Re: am i alone? 9/11 related

I do something good instead and it helps. My grandfather was a FDNY in Brooklyn, so every 9/11 I call his Engine Co to say I am thinking about you and thank you and I have had food delivered to the house. Their house lost 4 men on 9/11.

am i alone? 9/11 related

I have a hard time watching things 9/11 related. I am able to read articles and look at images but it is really hard for me too. I did not lose a loved one on that day but the loss of human life just saddens me so much. I worked at a hospital at the time and I started my shift just shortly after the first plane hit--I was running late to work that day and was being berated by my supervisor when we got a call that NO staff was to leave until we got further notice--The hospital and all the area hospitals were put on alert that we would be getting injured people directed to us from the plane crash--for hours I answered phone calls from loved ones of people working in the area asking if we had patient so and so under our care--It was very hard to tell person after person that we "had no information at this time". I was so blessed that my family and friends were safe while so many people were hoping for just a little bit of hope to hold on to--a good friend of mine lived blocks away and he was safe and sound--he decided to sleep in that day and his fate was determined by that small act--i do not think i will ever forget the sadness or shock of the day.

am i alone? 9/11 related

It's hard to watch for me too. I get sick inside just as I did that day.