How do you discipline an 18 month old?

So DS is 18 months. He is usually very well tempered, and easy to deal with. Lately he has gotten into the habit of throwing things -- everything. Toys, his cup, food, etc.
It is driving DH and I crazy. You hand him his cup full of milk -- he takes a sip, and he just throws it on the floor. He knows he is not supposed to -- i can tell, but just does it to get a rise.
I've tried to give him "time out" but he doesnt seem to understand it is "punishment" for something and just walks away. Is it too early to enforce rules and discipline -- or am i being played?! Not sure how to handle it. Ive also tried taking a favorite toy away, but im not sure he understands why im doing that either.
When he used to open drawers or play with buttons on the TV i would just say no and remove him (over and over)... eventually he got it, or he just tired with doing it. Will the same thing happen with the throwing?
Any advice?

Message edited 4/14/2015 11:42:55 AM.

Re: How do you discipline an 18 month old?

Repetition, although a PITA, is most effective at that age. My son is 19 months old. The "no" and the getting down at his level and explaining - even if they might not understand everything that is being said, they DO get the vibe and after it happening over and over again they come around.

With throwing the food or the cup I would sometimes realize that he might not be hungry and that is his way of conveying it. So, I would just take it away and shelf the mealtime and go back to it a while later... when he's hungry, he will eat. So, if I wait a bit then he will be that much hungrier the next time around.

With the cup or a toy or anything I would also say, "the sippy cup goes bye bye if you throw it" and I would show him, and take it and say that's it, if you throw it I take it away. Again, repetition but after a while it stuck. It is a phase to a certain extent - they can't verbally communicate as much as they want to yet so they express themselves in other ways and throwing and shouting, etc. is one of them.

But you'd be surprised how much they DO understand what is being said TO them. So talk talk talk and repeat -- he will get it after a while. I have seen progress with my son this way.

Re: How do you discipline an 18 month old?

My DS is 21 months and does the same thing you described. There's a few ways we handle this but it seems to take many many times of "no" and consequences before the novelty wears off. We have had him pick up after himself when he throws his food or drinks. This keeps it from being fun watching mommy pick it up. Also we use a timeout in his high chair. We use the super nanny technique with giving him a warning followed by a minute...moving up to 2 now..time out telling him why he is going into timeout. Once time is up we tell him again why he was there and he says sorry and attempts to say why he's sorry. We hug and life goes on. We also try to take his food away the minute he says all done otherwise it's sure to be flung across the room. He used to push the buttons on the cable box all the time and it took about 200 times of warnings and time outs before he finally stopped. So like you said eventually they get it. The food throwing has definitely slowed down so I'm hoping this stage is almost behind us. Hang in there and keep doing what you're doing!

How do you discipline an 18 month old?

Time outs def work but if he just walks away you need to put him right back.

My ds is now at the point where if I even say time out he will stop whatever he is doing. He hates them so much.

Re: How do you discipline an 18 month old?

Message edited 4/14/2015 1:44:23 PM.

How do you discipline an 18 month old?

I don't remember exactly when I started time outs but it was around age 2 and at first it was hard but within a few days she got it, you just have to be firm. Remember also that what works for one child may not work for another but when you find what works, being firm and consistent is the key...

How do you discipline an 18 month old?

My problem is I do not think he gets that time out means stay still in the corner. I can keep putting him back but he isnt getting the concept of why it is happening. A previous poster said to use the high chair. Does that work well to keep them still? Or will he just hate to go in there when it is time for meals? Ha--discipline is hard!

Re: How do you discipline an 18 month old?

Re: How do you discipline an 18 month old?

It was my pediatrician who recommended the high chair as opposed to a chair or step due to his age and since I didn't want give him a time out in the pack n play where he napped and played. It worked for my older son and I have found no negative association with meal time vs time out. He clearly knows the difference based on voice tone and routine of time out procedure.

Message edited 4/14/2015 2:38:15 PM.

Re: How do you discipline an 18 month old?

How do you discipline an 18 month old?

At that age I tried to avoid anything that I thought would cause a tantrum. I literally avoided picking her up in the kitchen ever bc it always led to her seeing something she wanted to have and wasn't supposed to leading to a tantrum. I also did a lot of distraction. Just ignore the behavior and try to get his attention elsewhere. Another tactic would be to give him a job and praise him for doing that. So if he throws the cup on the floor tell him "Oh can you fix that? Stand it up the right way" or "Can you put that in your toy box please?" So sort of ignoring the throwing part and giving him an important job to do so you can give him something positive to do instead.

I started time outs with DD a little before she turned two. At that age it worked pretty well and she definitely understood what was going on. A year later and I would say she's had maybe 2 time outs in the last few months. A quick mention of time out and she stops.

Re: How do you discipline an 18 month old?

I always used the terminology "that's not nice" to tag any inappropriate behavior. It's a phrase they can easily grasp, especially when heard over and over.

Re: How do you discipline an 18 month old?

DDs school follows a montessori model of disciplining. They (even at that age) say NAME, when you hit me, it makes me sad, and you frown. It is assumed that there is mutual respect between the child that has hit and the person who was hit as respect is the what Montessori discipline is based on.

Then, you have to identify why they are hitting and offer a more appropriate option. If they are hitting bc they are overstimulated or bored, it is suggested that they be directed to a toy drum or a punching bench to hit or offer them a ball to throw. If they are looking for attention, you ignore until they are calm. If they are hitting bc they are angry/frustrated, it is encouraged that you ask for "help please" and wait until they say it. Once they say it you provide a little comfort or encouragement. If you're not sure why they are hitting you follow up your initial statement by saying "gentle" and then stroke their face or arm.

I am still learning how it works, but it was very effective for my daughter who easily becomes overstimulated. She has tons of energy and went through a hitting phase about a month back (18 months). It lasted a couple of weeks and it seems to have almost stopped. It got bad for a while and it seemed like it got way worse before it got better. Sometimes when she gets overstimulated now she will run to the dog, says "gentle", strokes her fur, and then smiles and claps. She used to hit the dog a lot so I know she gets it.

Message edited 4/15/2015 8:10:35 PM.

Re: How do you discipline an 18 month old?

Be consistent with time out and put him in a contained space like crib or playpen. This is what I did with my girls from that age and it worked. At 2.5 they would still just walk away if they weren't contained. But I can give a warning and threaten a time out and they will get scared and say no and stop. I still do crib time outs and it doesn't affect them sleeping in there like some say. It never did.

How do you discipline an 18 month old?

We bought at BB&B a red place mat for 1$. It's the red mat. We would take it out and sit him on it and count till 10. We'd tell him what he did wrong, etc.

As he got older, we just had to say red mat and he would stop.

How do you discipline an 18 month old?

For my son, i initially followed the Waldorf approach as we wanted to be consistent with what his school did. I didnt think the approach was firm enough and my son would virtually laugh every time he did something wrong. It wasnt until we started doing time outs that i started seeing a change.