Adjusting to 2 kids

How did you adjust to 2 kids?
We just brought DS home and DD1 is being very rambunctious and a bit defiant at times. I am having a hard time with the guilt. Just looking for a advice from other moms, how did you balance caring for your newborn, and giving attention to your older child but not being lax on the discipline?

Re: Adjusting to 2 kids

Make sure the older one is getting enough attention. Also do one on one things with older one. The baby doesn't understand anything yet so the bigger one needs a little more love and attention.
Also see ife can help you out - get a diaper for you, bib, etc. Make him feel important.

Congrats!

Re: Adjusting to 2 kids

I just had my second baby yesterday. My DDis 3 years old and I'm not sure how she will be once we get home. We made it very clear that this is her baby too and she will always be the special girl and he will always be the special boy. I showed her how to put the bottles and parts in the dishwasher, where the bibs are, etc. she is excited to be the important big sister and help her little brother. Try to build it up like that. Make sure she knows how special she is. I will let you know how it works out once we get home.

Re: Adjusting to 2 kids

First of all- Congratulations!!!

Going from 1 to 2 is a huge adjustment. For the first month there were so many days I had no idea how I was going to do it. I just wanted to cry.

Do you have anyone that can help? I had signed up DS for a summer program 2 days a week (it was only for 3 hours) because I felt guilty that I couldn't take him anywhere. It was nice just getting out of the house even it was only to drive him to school. Even if someone can watch the new baby, you can spend an hour or two with your first baby.

I don't have too much advice, because the whole first month is a blur. I have no idea how I got past it. But I just wanted to say, once you get past the beginning, it gets much easier. They start to play together and you fall into a routine. It's just getting through those first couple of weeks that are killer! Good Luck!!!!!

Re: Adjusting to 2 kids

There are 2 of you, you and your dh. Make sure one of you is paying attention to the older child while the other one is taking care of the baby.
If you are alone, have the older one involved in what you are doing with the baby. They will feel like you are giving them attention and helping out.

Adjusting to 2 kids

I think you can cut your older one some slack in the very beginning. Be sure to give lots of positive attention and pick your battles or ignore some of the negative so they don't see acting out as the best way to get your attention. Hopefully your newborn sleeps a lot so you can take advantage of that. I find it harder to balance 3 months in bc dd2 is awake more looking for her own attention. I felt guilty but she spent a lot of time in the rnp etc in the very beginning so I didn't make dd1 jealous. I couldn't wait for my older one to go to bed every night so I could hold the baby guilt free. As time went on I worried less about that though. I am lucky to have plenty of babysitters so I could take dd1 out just the two of us and now that the baby is old enough we usually just take her along. Just take it one day (or one hour) at a a time and you'll get through it. At least the weather should be getting nice soon so hopefully you can get her outside to burn some energy.

Re: Adjusting to 2 kids

Great subject! I'm expecting my second DC and I'm terrified of the transition to 2 kids... I hope more people continue to reply to this thread with tips on handling what I expect to be a challenging time! And not to hijack but if anyone has any book recommendations on the topic as well please share!

Re: Adjusting to 2 kids

Ditto! Following this thread, any and all advice appreciated

Adjusting to 2 kids

Thanks for all the advice I have been trying to make sure one of us is tending to her and doing something with her. DH goes back to work Monday so I'm a little nervous but I do have my dad close by he will be able to take her out for a bit and when I can drive we'll resume the regular schedule with her babysitter so that we'll be good. I think the weather has us all going nuts too so when it's warmer out things will be probably get better

Re: Adjusting to 2 kids

Yay! Congrats!

My friends who just had their second kid had the older kid do the same for their baby

So they got a new doll and while mommy was feeding the baby,she could feed her own too etc

Re: Adjusting to 2 kids

leave the bottles, dishes and laundry. It will get done. While the baby sleeps, have some 1 on 1 time with your oldest.

Re: Adjusting to 2 kids

I told our little guy "babies can't talk to tell us how they feel- they can't tell us when they're hungry or need a new diaper, all they can do is smile or cry so they need a lot of help. Hey don't even know they have toes! So we are all going to have to help our baby learn all this stuff and this baby is so lucky it has you as a big brother cuz you already know these things...." Etc

Seemed to work but them again our big guy (4 year age diff) was always a kid you could reason with and talk to