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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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The conclusion to AJ's bully
I used the stopbully.gov website to help define it. But still... after all has been said and done. Its done.
They have it on file.
I got an apology from my principal's boss
The school itself has been reprimanded for its lax actions
The aftercare has new procedures
The girl WILL NOT be moved out of AJ's class.
A formal investigation of her actions are on file and others have come forward
Basically, they said she was given on campus suspension and a note in her file. Both girls (including my own) had a visit with the counselor which I find totally useless a month past the event.
Not much else I can think of to do other than hope this is the end of it. And if its not (according to my husband) all hell will break loose.
I've sat with AJ and explained friends don't hurt each other on purpose. This girl isn't a good friend. I also explained its possible she may get hurt again but she needs to know we all (teachers and parents) understand and will be looking for it. Do not try to play with her, play with others, make other friends stay away from HER. She knows that the girl hurts others. We explained she does it because everyone lets her, if AJ and her friends stopped playing with her the that girl will have to learn to play nice.
Its all a mom can do.
More so because according to the definition of bullying, to exclude the girl is a form of bullying that AJ would be guilty of. *sigh*
Is it June yet?
Message edited 1/8/2015 11:57:57 AM.
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Posted 1/8/15 11:56 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: The conclusion to AJ's bully
You're a good mom and you did all you can do.
I hope things get better for her and that little girl leaves AJ alone.
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| Posted 1/8/15 1:59 PM |
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jendar
happy bday mom! 7yrs married
Member since 12/13 1323 total posts
Name:
thank you mom. i love you
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Re: The conclusion to AJ's bully
Posted by kahlua716
You're a good mom and you did all you can do.
I hope things get better for her and that little girl leaves AJ alone.
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| Posted 1/8/15 2:35 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: The conclusion to AJ's bully
Hope it all works out!!
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| Posted 1/8/15 4:06 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: The conclusion to AJ's bully
Posted by kahlua716
You're a good mom and you did all you can do.
I hope things get better for her and that little girl leaves AJ alone.
I think this is all you can do at this point. 
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| Posted 1/8/15 4:26 PM |
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LoveMyHubby605
Our April Baby is here!
Member since 4/11 2418 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: The conclusion to AJ's bully
Posted by Xelindrya
. Do not try to play with her, play with others, make other friends stay away from HER. She knows that the girl hurts others. We explained she does it because everyone lets her, if AJ and her friends stopped playing with her the that girl will have to learn to play nice.
Its all a mom can do.
More so because according to the definition of bullying, to exclude the girl is a form of bullying that AJ would be guilty of. *sigh*
Is it June yet?
I hope I am misunderstanding but are you encouraging Aj to make other friends stay away from the girl? I read your other post and I'm sorry about what happened/is happening but this doesn't seem right for an adult to encourage isolating a child. She may be a bully but she is still a really young child and that seems really cruel.
I totally agree with you telling AJ to avoid her since she is your daughter and the two obviously shouldn't play but to have her recruit others seem mean girlish and hypocritical.
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| Posted 1/8/15 4:35 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: The conclusion to AJ's bully
Posted by LoveMyHubby605
Posted by Xelindrya
. Do not try to play with her, play with others, make other friends stay away from HER. She knows that the girl hurts others. We explained she does it because everyone lets her, if AJ and her friends stopped playing with her the that girl will have to learn to play nice.
Its all a mom can do.
More so because according to the definition of bullying, to exclude the girl is a form of bullying that AJ would be guilty of. *sigh*
Is it June yet?
I hope I am misunderstanding but are you encouraging Aj to make other friends stay away from the girl? I read your other post and I'm sorry about what happened/is happening but this doesn't seem right for an adult to encourage isolating a child. She may be a bully but she is still a really young child and that seems really cruel.
I totally agree with you telling AJ to avoid her since she is your daughter and the two obviously shouldn't play but to have her recruit others seem mean girlish and hypocritical.
You think you misunderstood. I would not ask her to 'take friends' from another friend. I said MAKE other friends not to isolate that one girl but to just so AJ can have other OPTIONS. She has recess with girls in her Girl Scout Troop and old friends from Kinder. If this girl is occupying her friends.. find other friends. No need for AJ to be isolated either.
But yeah.. kids ARE cruel. That's life. But NO, I'm not trying to teach her to be one. That's not who she is now and I don't want her to become that way.
But.. if AJ is the first to stand up and say that behavior isn't right... so I'm going somewhere else to play then I can HOPE other children will follow suit (YES) because then this girl will be forced to act better to get her friends back. Straighten up and even AJ could play with you. Act mean, hurt your friends on purpose and you will find yourself alone.
is that mean, cruel and hypocritical? No its the REAL world. She's not out to recruit others.. I didn't ask her to. I told her to STAY AWAY. Now if her friends join her that's fine, if they don't that's fine too. At this age they all play with whoever. I can't and won't stop that. I'm saying play with OTHERS outside your class.. and frankly if ANY ONE says they are your 'friend' but hurt you on purpose or take joy in your pain, they aren't friends.. walk away.
But hell yeah I would tell her if I could (but I can't express in words for a 6yr old) you do NOT bow down to some bully and be friends with her or play with her because she has friends you have or because she wants you to play with her. YOU DON'T NEED HER, or her approval. You drop her like a piece of forgotten trash. You move on. If she orbits your circle of friends don't be a b!tch about it but REMEMBER what's she's done and move cautiously.
Does that make me the bad parent of the year? then FINE. Set the crown and I'll wear it with pride.
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| Posted 1/8/15 6:29 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9537 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: The conclusion to AJ's bully
I sincerely hope this is the conclusion.
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| Posted 1/8/15 8:25 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: The conclusion to AJ's bully
Posted by DancinBarefoot
I sincerely hope this is the conclusion.
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| Posted 1/8/15 10:23 PM |
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FDNYWife31
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 1117 total posts
Name:
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Re: The conclusion to AJ's bully
Posted by jendar
Posted by kahlua716
You're a good mom and you did all you can do.
I hope things get better for her and that little girl leaves AJ alone.
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| Posted 1/8/15 10:42 PM |
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LoveMyHubby605
Our April Baby is here!
Member since 4/11 2418 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: The conclusion to AJ's bully
Posted by Xelindrya
Posted by LoveMyHubby605
Posted by Xelindrya
. Do not try to play with her, play with others, make other friends stay away from HER. She knows that the girl hurts others. We explained she does it because everyone lets her, if AJ and her friends stopped playing with her the that girl will have to learn to play nice.
Its all a mom can do.
More so because according to the definition of bullying, to exclude the girl is a form of bullying that AJ would be guilty of. *sigh*
Is it June yet?
I hope I am misunderstanding but are you encouraging Aj to make other friends stay away from the girl? I read your other post and I'm sorry about what happened/is happening but this doesn't seem right for an adult to encourage isolating a child. She may be a bully but she is still a really young child and that seems really cruel.
I totally agree with you telling AJ to avoid her since she is your daughter and the two obviously shouldn't play but to have her recruit others seem mean girlish and hypocritical.
You think you misunderstood. I would not ask her to 'take friends' from another friend. I said MAKE other friends not to isolate that one girl but to just so AJ can have other OPTIONS. She has recess with girls in her Girl Scout Troop and old friends from Kinder. If this girl is occupying her friends.. find other friends. No need for AJ to be isolated either.
But yeah.. kids ARE cruel. That's life. But NO, I'm not trying to teach her to be one. That's not who she is now and I don't want her to become that way.
But.. if AJ is the first to stand up and say that behavior isn't right... so I'm going somewhere else to play then I can HOPE other children will follow suit (YES) because then this girl will be forced to act better to get her friends back. Straighten up and even AJ could play with you. Act mean, hurt your friends on purpose and you will find yourself alone.
is that mean, cruel and hypocritical? No its the REAL world. She's not out to recruit others.. I didn't ask her to. I told her to STAY AWAY. Now if her friends join her that's fine, if they don't that's fine too. At this age they all play with whoever. I can't and won't stop that. I'm saying play with OTHERS outside your class.. and frankly if ANY ONE says they are your 'friend' but hurt you on purpose or take joy in your pain, they aren't friends.. walk away.
But hell yeah I would tell her if I could (but I can't express in words for a 6yr old) you do NOT bow down to some bully and be friends with her or play with her because she has friends you have or because she wants you to play with her. YOU DON'T NEED HER, or her approval. You drop her like a piece of forgotten trash. You move on. If she orbits your circle of friends don't be a b!tch about it but REMEMBER what's she's done and move cautiously.
Does that make me the bad parent of the year? then FINE. Set the crown and I'll wear it with pride.
I wrote I hope I am misunderstanding and I'm glad I was.
The line "make other friends stay away from HER" was what made me raise my eyebrows. I'm all about empowering a child but IF you were suggesting that she encourage others to exclude one child then I was disagreeing with that. However you clarified that is not what you were saying so it is a non issue. Nobody called you a bad parent.
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| Posted 1/9/15 9:14 AM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: The conclusion to AJ's bully
Posted by LoveMyHubby605
Posted by Xelindrya
. Do not try to play with her, play with others, make other friends stay away from HER. She knows that the girl hurts others. We explained she does it because everyone lets her, if AJ and her friends stopped playing with her the that girl will have to learn to play nice.
Its all a mom can do.
More so because according to the definition of bullying, to exclude the girl is a form of bullying that AJ would be guilty of. *sigh*
Is it June yet?
I hope I am misunderstanding but are you encouraging Aj to make other friends stay away from the girl? I read your other post and I'm sorry about what happened/is happening but this doesn't seem right for an adult to encourage isolating a child. She may be a bully but she is still a really young child and that seems really cruel.
I totally agree with you telling AJ to avoid her since she is your daughter and the two obviously shouldn't play but to have her recruit others seem mean girlish and hypocritical.
Imo eff this girl. She hurt op's daughter enough. There's no social responsibility at this point. Bullies isolate kids all the time, kids that don't deserve it. Maybe a little isolation of their own would make a bully think twice. It's a pretty obvious life lesson that if you act like a jerk, no one will want to be around you. If the girl is being abusive, ALL the girls should walk away! No one should start a club against this girl, but when she is acting up, she should feel the repercussions.
Message edited 1/9/2015 9:49:05 AM.
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| Posted 1/9/15 9:47 AM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: The conclusion to AJ's bully
Posted by lynnd126
Posted by LoveMyHubby605
Posted by Xelindrya
. Do not try to play with her, play with others, make other friends stay away from HER. She knows that the girl hurts others. We explained she does it because everyone lets her, if AJ and her friends stopped playing with her the that girl will have to learn to play nice.
Its all a mom can do.
More so because according to the definition of bullying, to exclude the girl is a form of bullying that AJ would be guilty of. *sigh*
Is it June yet?
I hope I am misunderstanding but are you encouraging Aj to make other friends stay away from the girl? I read your other post and I'm sorry about what happened/is happening but this doesn't seem right for an adult to encourage isolating a child. She may be a bully but she is still a really young child and that seems really cruel.
I totally agree with you telling AJ to avoid her since she is your daughter and the two obviously shouldn't play but to have her recruit others seem mean girlish and hypocritical.
Imo eff this girl. She hurt op's daughter enough. There's no social responsibility at this point. Bullies isolate kids all the time, kids that don't deserve it. Maybe a little isolation of their own would make a bully think twice. It's a pretty obvious life lesson that if you act like a jerk, no one will want to be around you. If the girl is being abusive, ALL the girls should walk away! No one should start a club against this girl, but when she is acting up, she should feel the repercussions.
But there is some social responsibility. The OP is very right to tell her daughter to play elsewhere and stay far away, that is a given. I don't agree that isolating her will teach her a lesson. It might make her more angry or the behavior worse.
I have to wonder if maybe there is something going on with this child that might not be obviously visible. Family problems at home (parents fighting/divorcing?), special needs of some sort. Sounds like maybe she needs a 1:1 aide to model correct behavior and help her to appropriately interact with her peers. Adding some social skill groups, school counseling. Isolating her without showing her repeatedly what IS the right way to behave towards others will just perpetuate the behavior not correct it right? Plus an aide would keep this situation from happening again bc she can call her out on manipulative or sneaky things.
Message edited 1/9/2015 10:11:46 AM.
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| Posted 1/9/15 10:07 AM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: The conclusion to AJ's bully
Posted by Lillykat
Posted by lynnd126
Posted by LoveMyHubby605
Posted by Xelindrya
. Do not try to play with her, play with others, make other friends stay away from HER. She knows that the girl hurts others. We explained she does it because everyone lets her, if AJ and her friends stopped playing with her the that girl will have to learn to play nice.
Its all a mom can do.
More so because according to the definition of bullying, to exclude the girl is a form of bullying that AJ would be guilty of. *sigh*
Is it June yet?
I hope I am misunderstanding but are you encouraging Aj to make other friends stay away from the girl? I read your other post and I'm sorry about what happened/is happening but this doesn't seem right for an adult to encourage isolating a child. She may be a bully but she is still a really young child and that seems really cruel.
I totally agree with you telling AJ to avoid her since she is your daughter and the two obviously shouldn't play but to have her recruit others seem mean girlish and hypocritical.
Imo eff this girl. She hurt op's daughter enough. There's no social responsibility at this point. Bullies isolate kids all the time, kids that don't deserve it. Maybe a little isolation of their own would make a bully think twice. It's a pretty obvious life lesson that if you act like a jerk, no one will want to be around you. If the girl is being abusive, ALL the girls should walk away! No one should start a club against this girl, but when she is acting up, she should feel the repercussions.
But there is some social responsibility. The OP is very right to tell her daughter to play elsewhere and stay far away, that is a given. I don't agree that isolating her will teach her a lesson. It might make her more angry or the behavior worse.
I have to wonder if maybe there is something going on with this child that might not be obviously visible. Family problems at home (parents fighting/divorcing?), special needs of some sort. Sounds like maybe she needs a 1:1 aide to model correct behavior and help her to appropriately interact with her peers. Adding some social skill groups, school counseling. Isolating her without showing her repeatedly what IS the right way to behave towards others will just perpetuate the behavior not correct it right? Plus an aide would keep this situation from happening again bc she can call her out on manipulative or sneaky things.
I agree with you, but if my kid was being bullied, therapy for the bully is not really my problem. Op brought it to the attention of the administration and the parents. There's not much she can do now besides telling her daughter to stay away from her. And again I'm not saying they should bully the bully and literally isolate her for no reason- I'm saying when the girl is acting inappropriately, the other kids should walk away and ignore her. I would think she'll put two and two together that bad behavior equals no friends.
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| Posted 1/9/15 11:19 AM |
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