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Want your opinion...

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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!

Member since 8/05

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Name:
Veronica

Want your opinion...

Yep.. dangerous I know Chat Icon

So my coworker and I were talking about gifts and our kids for the holidays. I explained how we do it in our home and how AJ generally gets rid of toys every year to others "Less fortunate" than us, like I tell her what if there's a girl out there who has never had (XYZ) toy before? AJ loves to share her toys so she gets giddy thinking other kids will have fun like she did.

He said his family does the same and he went into how he teaches his children about "The poor people" and he said it like 4 times "the poor people" and I asked ... do you REALLY call them 'the poor people' as in, look over there "Poor people"? Straight faced without much of a flinch he said

Of course, they are poor so they are the poor people.

(we won't go into how I asked how the APPEARANCE of a person makes them 'poor')

Now call me silly but I find that degrading. And I said so. He says but they are poorer than him so they are poor people. Which I explained means *I* am poor people as I am poorer than him. Frankly he is poor people to a large majority of our clients, our boss, my other coworker and I'm sure a million other people. He just looked at me like "what?" He said *I* called them unfortunate, what's the difference? I corrected him and said LESS fortunate not unfortunate, its not a disease! and I think there is a difference. People looking for assistance aren't always poor but just having a tough time. To teach your children that they are a class of people called "The poor people" seems to be building a bias.

I let it drop since after all they aren't my kids and it wasn't meant to be a huge thing. Just thought it was degrading to call them "poor people".

What do you think? Is it degrading to call them 'poor people' when teaching your children or am I over thinking it?




Call it Friday Fodder. But I am not trying to stir a pot so after waiting a while I am hitting "post". Here's to hoping this stays civil.

Message edited 11/21/2014 12:56:51 PM.

Posted 11/21/14 10:09 AM
 
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mrsm-2011
He is my world!

Member since 6/12

3009 total posts

Name:
Theresa

Re: Want your opinion...

In answer to your question.

Is it degrading to call them 'poor people' when teaching your children or am I over thinking it?

Yes it is, there are definitely better ways to explain it than saying 'poor people'.

Posted 11/21/14 10:19 AM
 

JDubs
different, not less

Member since 7/09

13160 total posts

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Re: Want your opinion...

I do think there are better ways of putting it than "poor people" , like you said less fortunate, or those in need.

Posted 11/21/14 10:25 AM
 

M514
Hi

Member since 8/10

6011 total posts

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Want your opinion...

I don't like that term either. We are always donating items in our house and my daughter will go through her toys and clothes with me to make a pile for donation. I explained to her that not everyone has as much as we do so we can share our items with them when we are done using them.

Posted 11/21/14 11:14 AM
 

Mom0710
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/14

682 total posts

Name:

Re: Want your opinion...

Posted by JDubs

I do think there are better ways of putting it than "poor people" , like you said less fortunate, or those in need.



Agreed. When we donate to,toys for tots or whathaveyou, I tell them it's for the babies that don't get toys so we share. I never say "the poor people"

Posted 11/21/14 11:36 AM
 

Katareen
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Member since 4/10

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Katherine

Want your opinion...

Yes, there are better ways to say it...but I think the fact that he's teaching his children to be selfless and generous and to share with those who go without trumps his poor phrasing. I think the lesson is more important here.

Posted 11/21/14 11:53 AM
 

JME78
LIF Adult

Member since 11/09

3672 total posts

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Re: Want your opinion...

Posted by Katareen

Yes, there are better ways to say it...but I think the fact that he's teaching his children to be selfless and generous and to share with those who go without trumps his poor phrasing. I think the lesson is more important here.



I kind of disagree - he is teaching his kids that "poor people" are separate from them. It is definitely creating a bias - lumping a group of people together and classifying them as "other" is not teaching people to be selfless. This designation is charged, it implies that this man believes himself to be superior to "the poor people" and is teaching his children this classist behavior.

Posted 11/21/14 1:18 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

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Name:
L

Re: Want your opinion...

Posted by Katareen

Yes, there are better ways to say it...but I think the fact that he's teaching his children to be selfless and generous and to share with those who go without trumps his poor phrasing. I think the lesson is more important here.

I agree with you. His phrasing could be better though. I am glad that the Op challenged his line of thinking. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. I think his desire to help the less fortunate trumps his word choice though.

Posted 11/21/14 2:19 PM
 

melbalalala
Little Lady

Member since 5/07

5015 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Want your opinion...

Starting at three, we started doing things to help "the poor people", a term I used to describe them to her to make it as basic as possible. She's four now and we still refer to them as "poor people", I suppose she's smarter now and there is a better term out there but I haven't thought much about it... I'm a pretty PC person and it never crossed my mind that this wasn't something I should say to a child, I wouldn't be embarrassed if she repeated it. I certainly wouldn't use it in conversation with an adult without some air quotes because it seems like a childish term (similar to when I accidentally use the term "grown-ups" to a waiter or cashier Chat Icon ) but, to make a long story short, no I don't think it's degrading to use the term when teaching children about others that are less fortunate than them.

Sidenote - my daughter is learning about Thanksgiving in preschool and they're using the term "Indians" for Native Americans which makes me blush every time she says it!

Posted 11/21/14 2:30 PM
 

Katareen
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Member since 4/10

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Katherine

Re: Want your opinion...

Posted by JME78

Posted by Katareen

Yes, there are better ways to say it...but I think the fact that he's teaching his children to be selfless and generous and to share with those who go without trumps his poor phrasing. I think the lesson is more important here.



I kind of disagree - he is teaching his kids that "poor people" are separate from them. It is definitely creating a bias - lumping a group of people together and classifying them as "other" is not teaching people to be selfless. This designation is charged, it implies that this man believes himself to be superior to "the poor people" and is teaching his children this classist behavior.



But can't you say the same for any phrasing you'd use? Calling them "less fortunate" is still implying you're not one of the "less fortunate" and therefore in another group.

Posted 11/21/14 2:38 PM
 

MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!

Member since 5/06

14562 total posts

Name:
Marisa

Re: Want your opinion...

Honestly? If I were the guy you were having the conversation with I'd Chat Icon and tell you to get off of your Chat Icon

He's making an effort to teach his children to help others. He's teaching them to share, be unselfish, think of other people, particualrly at this time of year......he's doing the SAME thing you are doing .......yet all you took from that is the term he used and how it was inappropriate or not 'the best' thing to call them .........? maybe his term 'poor people' isn't politically correct but it's hardly something I'd confornt someone about. I think you missed the big picture here -

Posted 11/21/14 2:52 PM
 

kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!

Member since 8/07

12475 total posts

Name:
Keri

Re: Want your opinion...

Posted by LSP2005

Posted by Katareen

Yes, there are better ways to say it...but I think the fact that he's teaching his children to be selfless and generous and to share with those who go without trumps his poor phrasing. I think the lesson is more important here.

I agree with you. His phrasing could be better though. I am glad that the Op challenged his line of thinking. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. I think his desire to help the less fortunate trumps his word choice though.



I also agree

Posted 11/21/14 3:03 PM
 

Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys

Member since 5/05

9306 total posts

Name:
Kelly

Re: Want your opinion...

when my son and i go through his toys I explain that there are people who are not as lucky as us to have all we have. We may go into more detail but I dont believe we use the word poor.


Funny-ish story was my DS went to a catholic Kindergarten. And during our annual toy donation/playroom clean out, he made a comment about "being poor", another one of his classmates made a comment like that to his mom when they ran low on a staple item in his home "mom, are we poor because we have no X in the house". So I do feel there are some people who use that term very loosely. Their teacher obviously did a poor job getting her point across because the kids all feared what it meant.

Posted 11/21/14 5:09 PM
 

pumpkinmom
LIF Adult

Member since 5/12

2912 total posts

Name:

Want your opinion...

Forgive me if this sounds short- my back button deleted my whole response and I'm not redoing...
"The poor" isn't horrible, but maybe not the best wording.
"Less fortunate" isn't necessarily true - just financially not doing as well.
Maybe "someone who needs it" or "to make someone happy" is better.

Message edited 11/21/2014 5:39:00 PM.

Posted 11/21/14 5:37 PM
 
 

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