So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

So both my sister and sister in law went and got the Elsa and Anna doll for my DD's 4th birthday without asking us. DH and I got tickets for the Frozen on ice show and were going to give the dolls since it's her number 1 requested gift. I asked them both to exchange it and my sister said no. I am so upset.....was it wrong of me? Whenever it's their kids I ALWAYS ask what gifts to buy. DD is obsessed with Frozen. They had to know we would have gotten her the Frozen dolls. I think parents should be able to get a child whatever their most requested gift is.....

So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

I wouldn't be mad that they initially bought it, I would be mad that she said she would not return it. I would probably tell her that you are not asking, you are telling her to return it because it's part of your surprise and leave it at that.

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

Your sister is being unreasonable. If she wont return it then I would make sure I gave my DD her frozen doll from me first and then if my sister persevered with another doll so be it.How annoying.

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

Were you planning on getting the dolls at the show, or giving them that day, did you already buy them, I personally don't see the big deal, it is a close family member and she is getting her most requested gift, I'm just happy when people get things my dds actually want and will play with instead of nonsense they will never touch

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

I would just give her the dolls you bought her on her birthday. Then when she opens the ones from your sister, she will say that she already got them.

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal. I may have been annoyed, but I don't think I would have asked her to return them. She bought something your DD is going to be thrilled about.
You are taking her to the show, so instead of the dolls, why don't you get her a pretty Elsa or Ana dress to wear?

So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

Wouldn't be annoyed that they bought it. Not worth getting upset that she won't return it. Just give DD the dolls and exchange theirs. You could return one set with your receipt so you don't have to deal with store credits.

So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

I would give her the gifts you originally planned and when she opens the duplicates explain you have to return them for something else she wants. Your sis and sil are not being understanding. I totally get you wanting dd to have her no. 1 gift ON her bday and not have to wait and think she didn't get.

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

I can see why you are frustrated. I would still give DD the dolls ON her birthday as planned. There is no way I would let my child think they aren't getting the one thing they asked for for their birthday to make my sister happy, especially if I wanted to give it to her to begin with.

So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

Did you tell your sister you were giving the dolls first and hers would be a duplicate? If so then I really wouldn't worry about it. It's not taking away from your gift and I know my DD loves to have the same doll. There are so many versions of Elsa and Anna that it might not even be the same. DD must have gotten at least 10 barbies for her birthday.

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

This actually happenned to me too (but it was not intentional). DS opened a gift that was going to be his big surprise... From a close family member.

He loved it... I smiled, put mine away & returned it eventually & let him pick out a toy.

In retrospect, it was a bummer, but not so bad.
He doesn't really play with the toy much today. He does love the one he picked out with me... Go figure!

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

I understand how you feel and you're not wrong for wanting to be the one to give your daughter a special gift that she's been wanting. I think your SIL is being awfully inconsiderate, she really said NO to returning them??? That's so obstinate...........and for what reason???

There are certain special things we've wanted to give our kids over the years and I'd be upset if someone tried to take that away from us..........even if the intentions were good. If a parent explicitly asks to NOT give something to their child, whether that person likes the reasoning or not, they should respect and honor the request.

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

I'm with you - I'd be annoyed.
Did you say her birthday is the day before Thanksgiving? Can't you give her the gift on her birthday? -
Your sister and SIL won't see her before YOU do

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

Is your sister serious or just messing with you? I guess everyone has different types of relationships with their family members but that sounds really weird. If one of my family members seriously did that to me I would be telling them that they're no longer invited to the party. How dare she try to ruin a surprise that you had planned for your own child! Why on Earth would she even want to??? Just SO strange if you ask me . . .

So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

i would just give the dolls to your daughter on her birthday and let your sister give it a day later.

i would be happy someone put thought into a gift for my child and got something they would actually like - its unfortunate that its a duplicate gift though.
Personally, i may sound crazy saying this (and people may give me grief but im being honest)...
i hate dealing with returns...so if i purchased a gift for someone that i knew they would love but found out they already had it, i probably would just say ok well ill include a gift receipt and she can pick out something she wants.

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

It's annoying, but you can just exchange the dolls for something else your daughter wants.

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

I have three kids and don't have the time to deal with returns when gifts I purchase for others are unwanted or unappreciated...I would find it really nervy if my sis or sil (and yes I have both) asked me to return a gift that I had thoughtfully chosen. I try to live my life with the thought that gifts are never expected and always appreciated. As a mom, yes, duplicates are annoying, but I wouldn't demand that someone take the time to return a gift they purchased for my child because it's not what I wanted them to give her: but I am also not on board with birthday gift registries though I see it's the way of the future. Why don't we just make straight deposits into each other's checking accounts instead of giving gifts at all?

Eta: I mean, am I missing something? I have my niece an Elsa doll in her Easter basket without having the nerve to ask my sister in law. My niece loved it. Now I'm wondering if my sil is secretly fuming that I beat her to the punch...an Easter surprise! Too bad I have more important things to worry about, though it's funny how naive I was about such a potential minefield.

Message edited 11/17/2014 4:00:02 PM.

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

I would just exchange it myself if she already had one (duplicate gift) or I had purchased the gift myself. If not I would pick something else to give her.

Re: So frustrated with SIL and my sister - DD bday gift

Yeah I would be annoyed too. Not that they got her that. It's sweet they know what she likes but I understand you wouldn't want to disappoint your daughter on her birthday even if it is just for a day. Just give her the dolls and return your sister's yourself. Maybe she just doesn't have time to return it. My sister asked if my dd wanted any of the paw patrol stuff and I told her if she found Skye with the helicopter to buy it but she couldn't give it to her because my daughter asked Santa for it. She totally understood. Some people are funny about gifts though. My mother in law would probably be insulted if I asked her to do that.