Aunt, Uncles & Divorce

OK, this may seem silly but I do need some input. DH's brother is going through a divorce. He and his wife have been living apart for over a year and DC, 4 yrs and 18 months, have rarely seen his wife.

Last week, it was my niece's (DH's brother's daughter's) birthday party and my kids saw their aunt. My little one could care less but my 4 year old didn't understand who his aunt was (she was talking with me, DH, etc. so he knew she wasn't a stranger).

I explained that it was so-and-so's Mommy which he was fine with.

My question, if you have a divorce in the family, how do your kids refer to the divorced aunt/uncle in the family? Is it Aunt So-and-So or just by their first name.

ETA: I doubt my kids will see her often, maybe 2 or 3 times a year when family functions come up and she never engages with my kids.

Message edited 9/30/2014 4:38:54 PM.

Re: Aunt, Uncles & Divorce

I would still call her aunt x, but perhaps you may want to ask her what she prefers your children to call her privately.

Re: Aunt, Uncles & Divorce

We use first names..

Re: Aunt, Uncles & Divorce

In this case, I would just say her first name. My DH's aunt (by marriage) and uncle got divorced after 25 years of marriage, but she is still around-kids, grandkids, etc. He still calls her aunt. He is actually prob closer to her than his uncle!

Re: Aunt, Uncles & Divorce

I still call my divorced aunts, Aunt so-and-so.

Aunt, Uncles & Divorce

Since your DC don't already refer to her as "aunt so-and-so", I'd just call her by her first name, since she technically isn't their aunt anymore.

Re: Aunt, Uncles & Divorce

I'd still say aunt because for me it's a sign of respect to refer to anyone in an older generation who has some ties to your family as aunt. Aunt goes well above and beyond the literal sibling and sibling-in-law of a parent...

Re: Aunt, Uncles & Divorce

Aunt, Uncles & Divorce

My parents divorced YEARS ago and my cousins still call my mom Aunt. However, she remained friendly with my dad's family and was even godmother to my cousin born AFTER the divorce.

Re: Aunt, Uncles & Divorce

We still call my uncles ex wife, Aunt and also my great uncle. But we have known them our whole lives and still talk to them.

Aunt, Uncles & Divorce

If they are still cousins then their moms are still my aunts :)

I'm a product of tons of divorces. EVERY ONE is an aunt or uncle LOL I personally call them all by first names TO them but refer to them as aunt/uncle when talking ABOUT them. Only because growing up my Dad would refer to them as first name (siblings or ILs) I overheard that and stuck with it. My Bio-Mom called them by nicknames and those stuck too! Auntie Grace, Auntie Beautiful, Auntie Fridge, Uncle Frog! LOL

But all the divorced aunts and uncles are still aunts and uncles.

Parents - divorced (two sets of kids - whole, half, step and adopted)
Mother's parents - Death resulting in two sets of kids
Father's parents - Divorced resulting in two sets of kids
Aunts/Uncles on mothers side - All but two of the seven are divorced all with kids and a few with new families as well
Aunts/Uncles on Father's side - 3 out of four divorced with kids in 2 of them, both with new families

My Big Happy Hispanic Family! LOL Just call them aunts/uncles!