Just a question ?

My daughter is very very shy ....with people she knows she is fine talks laughs interacts etc.........BUT in school she clams up does not say a word nothing ...she will raise her hand to answer but the freezes up :( !!.....she is in pre k...I talk to her and tell her it's ok talk don't worry.Every couple of days I come up with some plan to try to get her to talk.......please no drama should it be the teachers job to get her to talk? I mean i talk to her tell her it's okto speak to the teacher, she speaks clearly she has no other issues she is just so shy., thanks! What should I do I my end she will be 4 in a few weeks

Re: Just a question ?

Is school the only setting where she won't speak? She won't speak to the teacher at all? Does she speak to the other kids in class? She could be exhibiting selective mutism. Have the teacher ask her only questions she can answer yes/no so she can shake her head to respond. Prep your DD that this is a way she can communtcare with the teacher. You can practice having her answer yes/no questions at home. I would also have the teacher lessen the demands for a communicative response from your DD. Let her get more comfortable. The teacher should build rapport with her in other ways ( a smile, thumbs up, use declarative language)...

Message edited 9/19/2014 8:41:43 PM.

Just a question ?

I've worked with pre-school children with selective mutism before. I would never force them to speak, and once they were comfortable I never made a big deal out of them speaking. Pictures worked for me too. Happy, sad, playground, bathroom, etc. I agree with the above about using yes and no questions as well.

Re: Just a question ?

Wow omg you think she has SM......she is perfectly fine around comfortable situations yes I have seen her talk to other children at parties......but in school I see her smile and she does run off to play with them ...should I ask the teacher if she thinks it is SM. Who do I ask how do i find out? Omg I'm so nervous now!.......I told her the other day if you say hello,to ms.teacher we will go by you a new toy bad idea?

Just a question ?

Just based on my experience, more you push her, the more pressure and anxiety it may be causing. I would start by speaking to her pediatrician. And selective mutism is usually subsides in the upper grades, so it's not something she may always have.

Message edited 9/19/2014 11:49:57 PM.

Re: Just a question ?

I had a student 2 years ago who entered school in October and refused to speak in school. She participated in all activities but did not feel comfortable expressing herself. My class was VERY patient with her and whenever a new person would enter, they would share that this child is not ready to share her voice with the class. By November she would whisper with me as long as no one else was in our vicinity. By January she would whisper her dictation for writing and art while seated at her table with 3 friends, but she would only speak with me. It wasn't until May 29th that she felt comfortable/confident to share her voice with the class. When she did the children cheered and hugged her and now she won't stop talking in 2nd grade!

Everyone has different levels of comfort. As long as her teacher and peers are considerate and patient she'll come out of her shell. :) GL

Re: Just a question ?