Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

Just out of curiosity, would your opinion change about being a SAHM if you could work from home even one or two days a week?

My job requires a lot of travel, up to 70%. Leave on Monday and come home Thursday or Friday. DD just turned one and I've been lucky enough to spend most of the year at home with her. I've been working from home a lot and work has been keeping me local. It's kind of an anomaly to have been home this much but it's been great. They're opening up a position that I'm going to apply for based in the city and I would be able to work from home once or twice a week. I wouldn't get weeks at a time at home but it would be a predictable schedule and no travel, which is huge.

To answer the op's question, I could be a SAHM but we need both salaries to pay our bills here on LI. I also have great benefits so DH would have to be making a lot of $$ for me not to work. I like having my own $$ and independence and I too worry about what would happen if life circumstances change, divorce, death, job loss.

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

I think it depends on the kind of career you have. Personally, the amount of money is less of a concern to me than the investment I have made in my career. In order to keep my certifications I have to take courses and complete clinical hours every few years.
I am currently a SAHM, and have been for the past year. If I were to stay home for another two years full time and not fulfill my clinical obligations, some schooling and all my certificates would expire and I wouldn't be able to work in my field.
For that reason, no amount of money would keep me home full time for very long.

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

When I had my first DD I took a year off and contemplated more, but decided to return. Thank God I did, because my husband lost his high paying job and now I am the breadwinner as he works his way back up. If I had given up my salary also, I don't know where we would be.

I am a better mom working, and am lucky to have family help us with childcare. It's the right decision for us to have me working.

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

it really is such a personal decision and so many other factors play into it. When i came back to work i immediately starting searching for another opportunity within my company where it was a less stressful job and a better commute. My commute to manhattan took away so much of my time i felt like i had no time for myself or to enjoy the babies. But financially i wouldnt stop working because i am comfortable with our current income. Also a part of me always thinks what if one of us loses our job at least we wont lose our house because we still have an income.

i found a job 15 mins away from my house in the same company doing something i absolutely love. for now i do not see mysef being a SAHM.

Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

I left a job in the banking industry making well over $100,000. Thankfully my husband makes more that I did so we structured our lives around his salary (house purchases, cars, savings, vacations) and banked my salary while we were waiting to adopt. The career I had was not "friendly" to having children and required alot of travel, late nights and at a moments notice leaving for an extended period of time so there was no way i could do that once we had a baby. I would have had to switch careers anyway so i just stayed home. It was a big adjustment and i did go a bit crazy at times but it was well worth it : ).

Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

Gosh I wished I had this problem! My problem is trying to survive on two salaries while making sure my son is loved and cared for when I can't possibly be there

Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

I'm pg now and at this point not considering leaving my job. I make a good living so does my husband. Could we survive off one salary, yes but we wouldn't be able to provide the life and opportunities I'd want for my little one. I want to travel abroad with them, be able to afford any and all activities and teach them the values of family and work. Also, I don't want to ever worry about struggling and like a poster above alluded to, you just never know what life is going to deal you. Loss of job, sickness, death, divorce. My mother was a sahm. My parents divorced later in life and she has nothing to fall back on. Albeit half a pension but it has been a struggle for her, especially with todays economy. I love my husband more than anything but I never want to be at someone else's mercy. It's important to me that I am able to support myself and my children on my own. It's really a personal choice, I just think as women we need to support each other a little more. You are no better or worse than the next mom just because you choose to work full time or stay at home. (Sorry for typos / grammar I hate typing on an iPad lol)

Message edited 8/2/2014 1:18:07 PM.

Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

And to the OP point, yes I do think its a much tougher decision to stay home when you make a good living. The opportunity cost is just higher. You give up more to stay home.

Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

I think it also depends on how much you love your work. I was making a high salary but not really happy. Now I work super part time, like freelance, and make a third, but I'm very happy. My dh ended up like doubling his salary though, so it's also working out financially. If it had made us really tight, I think that would affect my feelings a lot too.

Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

I chose to go P/T because it was the best of both worlds - keep your foot in the door at work and spend more time with DS. I do wish I had banked my salary the entire time and lived off DH's salary because two years ago I was downsized and we had to make adjustments to the budget. It's been difficult but not impossible. If I had just banked what I made, we could have paid off the house and be breathing a little easier now, as well as continuing the lifestyle we were used to. Other than that, it has been an adjustment staying home and I am thinking of finding something P/T. I will never make what I was making but sometimes I feel the need to do something productive outside the home.

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

I made a pretty good salary when I worked, not awesome, but I did fairly well money- wise.

The decision to stay at home was easy because I was not a career person. I don't think I really had a zest for what I did. I was unhappy at my latest job. The two I had before were better.

I begin staying home 5 years ago when we relocated for my DH's job. I never miss working, I am much more fulfilled taking care of my kids. That said, I would never stay home if it wasn't good financially. We still save for retirement, college, take vacations, etc.

Since I had my kids later in life, I have 14 years in the workforce, I already have a decent sized retirement account,( which we still contribute to) and I earned a small pension.

I do plan to work again when my kids are older. However, I will likely start a different career path.

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

There are definitely pros and cons to both. This thread is making me want to work part time even more, I think that is truly what I want. I am lucky in that even if I was to go part time I would still make 6 figures, just a good chunk less than what I make now. Luckily my DH recently got a raise so even though I still make substantially more than him it would help to make up a portion of the difference.

Someone posted about WAH a few days and whether that would make a difference. For me, 100% yes. I would not stay at my job, even for the salary, if I had to commute to the city 5 days a week. I would either leave my job for something with a lesser commute, go part time, or move OOS so I could work from one of our other offices with a shorter commute (probably what we would end up doing). Or I would have stayed in the city, but that was neve rour long term plan. The flexibility of my existing job is why I am still working full time at my current job.

Message edited 8/2/2014 5:49:53 PM.

Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

I recently became a stay at home mom and i made a little shy of $200k annually. It was extremely tough for me because i loved the money- even though i saved most of it. I worked for a year after my son was born, returning just after 8 weeks from maternity leave. What finally helped me leave, was the guilt i felt from missing many milestones. Him rolling over, first words etc, i was always away on a business trip. It broke my heart! Now i am still adjusting to staying home. I do help my husband at his company 3 days out of the week but if i didnt have that option, i would have gotten a part time job anyhow, just to get out of the house. I wouldnt say i feel 100% fulfilled by staying home because i am a workaholic by nature but i am glad i am here and helping mold him into a great child. I also feel that keeping myself in the loop with my former colleagues has also helped me feel like i am still 'relevant'.

Message edited 8/2/2014 7:56:19 PM.

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

I was making almost $200,000 when I got pg with my DS seven years ago and was on a pretty clear career track where I would have very likely been making more than double that now had I continued to work. I left my job and have zero regrets. For me, no amount of money was worth missing this time with my kids! It goes by soooooo fast and I would have had SO many regrets had I not been home with them - SO many. Now, seven years later, I have ZERO regrets. I can live with myself if I never achieve all my career goals and don't make $$$$$$$, but I could never live with myself if I missed out on all this time with my kids. All the money in the world wouldn't make up for the regret I would feel right now if I had not made the decision to be a SAHM. Honestly if you don't *need* to work - I don't think money is the issue - look down ten years from now - what decision can you say will leave you with no regrets? I can go on and on but, although I did make a BIG sacrifice (especially since this is not the path I thought I would take in life) and it is NOT easy being a SAHM - I do have zero regrets.

Good luck with your decision

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

If I could afford to leave my job tomorrow and not worry about losing my pension, benefits etc. for the long haul then I would. I would likely want to return at some point but if money weren't an issue then I would leave work to be home with my kids for a few years. I enjoy my job but I would prefer to be home w my kids (I think lol).

In my career it is very hard to find a job and since I have an excellent one 3 miles from my home I can't take more than an extended leave (1 year). We need my pension, benefits etc for our families future, though we could live off DH's salary in the meantime (if that makes sense) .

So basically for me to leave my career and become a SAHM DH's salary would need to triple, at least lol

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

With my first LO I switched to PT. It's the best of both worlds. A few years ago I then opened my own practice, still maintaining PT hours..it's even better.

I think ultimately it comes down to what you want. I thought I would feel guilty becoming a SAHM and leaving my career, ultimately I decided I'm happier and make a better mommy doing both. It perfect..my office is 5 minutes from home and I work 20 hrs a week.

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

If you can afford it, you want to, and could get back into your field then absolutely do it. I am about to go back to my job as a teacher after being home for close to a year with my girls. Yes it is hard, we had to cut back a lot. I really wish I could stay home another year with them but its just not going to happen.

Staying home is NOT easy at all, but I definitely enjoy it more (although I am looking forward to having my own paycheck LOL)

ETA: PT would be my dream. Best of both worlds!

Message edited 8/3/2014 7:38:51 AM.

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

BTDT - I'm the other side now just to returned to work full time after 5 years off- it's hard - I'm earning 1/2 what I did before I left - but I'm on LI and working for a non profit in a very low stress position. Was it worth it yes every second.

Like everything else in life it's a very personal decision. What works best for your family is the right thing to do.

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

Posted by itsbabytime

I was making almost $200,000 when I got pg with my DS seven years ago and was on a pretty clear career track where I would have very likely been making more than double that now had I continued to work. I left my job and have zero regrets. For me, no amount of money was worth missing this time with my kids! It goes by soooooo fast and I would have had SO many regrets had I not been home with them - SO many. Now, seven years later, I have ZERO regrets. I can live with myself if I never achieve all my career goals and don't make $$$$$$$, but I could never live with myself if I missed out on all this time with my kids. All the money in the world wouldn't make up for the regret I would feel right now if I had not made the decision to be a SAHM. Honestly if you don't *need* to work - I don't think money is the issue - look down ten years from now - what decision can you say will leave you with no regrets? I can go on and on but, although I did make a BIG sacrifice (especially since this is not the path I thought I would take in life) and it is NOT easy being a SAHM - I do have zero regrets.

Good luck with your decision

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

Re: Going PT or Becoming a SAHM if you make a great living???

I have been a full time working mom with insane hours, a full time working mom with flexible hours, a stay at home mom, a part time work from home mom and now a part time working mom.

Part time work is really the best of both worlds. I left a very lucrative world of huge bonuses. I now work about 25 hours a week and am still able to break 6 figures with much more modest bonuses. I took a huge pay cut and sometimes miss the more demanding challenging work but I would choose the part time work and more time with kids every time. The incremental $$$ would not be worth it. DH is able to afford me to stay home but it was not for me.

The work from home should have been ideal but I often found myself working all through the night, especially when I had deadlines. I had a nanny with me at home all day but we'd be busy with play dates, Gymboree, etc. so I did not get nearly as much work done during the day. I got my lion's share of work completed after 8pm. I work 10:30-3:30/4 most days at my current PT job in the office with very little work done at home. My kids spend a little time in extended care but we still have late afternoons and evenings together. We used to do a lot more afternoon play dates but now we are filled with extracurricular activities.

Message edited 8/3/2014 11:08:14 AM.