Having another child

We did IVF. We struggled. We found great doctors who had a great plan and we got pregnant after 3 cycles with the other doctor. We are blessed.

Now DD is turning 1. We (DH and I) spoke about trying this summer. I am a teacher. Summer is my chance- I am more calm.

I struggle with the idea that DD is only 1. My DH and I also want another baby. BUT We did IVF, shouldn't we do it NOW? IN CASE? WHAT IF IT DOESN'T WORK?

If I don't do it this summer, we would wait until next summer.

I am approaching 30...DH is 34.


How do you know when to try again,...even if you didn't struggle to get pregnant? How do I know I want this? I feel like I am stealing away my DD's special time! And it's hard!

Message edited 3/26/2014 7:45:19 PM.

Having another child

I struggled to have my 3rd. I was 40 do it was now or never @ the time. For me it was the thought if my kids having each other to grow up with & hopefully be best friends. I thought about how I wanted to be surrounded by my kids kids someday. I like big families (I am 1 of 9) but it wasn't in the cards for me...but 3 is ENOUGH..lol. just when I gave up on having my 3rd I got pregnant :). Good Luck to you.

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Message edited 3/27/2014 3:35:38 AM.

Having another child

Thank you both. If someone said "ok it is time to go again..." I would be all for it. But the thought of knowing what's ahead and spending my time at the Dr's and with shots is giving me the thought that I should wait one more year.

BUT on the same token...I keep seeing friends say they are pregnant and I think... I want to be too!

Having another child

Will add my kids are 6 yrs apart so I was sble to give a lot of attn to the baby @ the time. Your still young you have some time to give 100% to your daughter

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I constantly struggle with this. It took us 3 plus years to conceive DD. After several iuis and ivf we were blessed. Although I had a pretty good pregnancy, it was filled with stress and anxiety mostly due to the long road it took us to get pregnant. We attempted another ivf cycle last summer when my DD was 18 months. It just wasn't our time. It wasnt fun managing being a mommy and all of the RE appts. We are blessed and I am grateful every day for our miracle. Not sure if and when we will give it another try. I know this did not answer your question but I completely understand where you are coming from.

Having another child

I thought I wanted to be a 2 under 2 mom for sure but after having DD I wasn't ready physically or mentally at all. Now DD is approaching 2 and a lot of people around me have a second or are pregnant again. I look at them and I look at DD and I think of how much I am enjoying her and I'm glad I don't have to split my time or rush these years. They go so quickly I like the idea of spreading them out a bit. We are trying for a second but I feel (almost) 100% okay with the fact that our kids will be more spread out than I expected. The biggest drawback for us is that I plan to SAH while our kids our young but not forever so that will be a bit of a strain.

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Message edited 3/27/2014 3:35:16 AM.

Re: Having another child

It took us 2.5 years to conceive our DD, and she was conceived on our first IVF. We have 15 frozen embryos waiting for us, and I think just about everyday about when it will be time to try for number 2, but neither of us are ready. Our DD (21 months) is the center of our world, and I am not ready to divide my attention to another child. Plus, there are financial considerations, but mostly, we just are not ready. I'm a FTWM, and I found the newborn stage very difficult..I'm not ready to go back there yet.

ETA: DH is 36 and I'm going to be 35, so we're getting up there in age too, but I just can't force it.

Message edited 3/26/2014 9:35:43 PM.

Re: Having another child

Its totally fine not to be ready at this point! You definitely have time on your side @ 30 (its not as if you are even anywhere near advanced maternal age) My DH wanted 2 under 2 and I wasn't ready to give up my 1 on1 time with my DS yet nor was I ready to give up my body to pregnancy and breastfeeding for a 10 months plus an additional year. We are still debating a 3-4 year age gap at this point. Its not that I don't want another little one (they are cute!) or that I had a difficult pregnancy (I had no issues) but even the easiest of pregnancies and newborns are not easy and it will take away some of your time with your current baby which is not an easy thing to deal with. Good luck with your decision it isn't easy but it does seem that whatever people chose for spacing they are happy with in the end :)

Having another child

Thank you all ladies. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one struggling with this,

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I totally understand how you feel, i went to the RE to conceive my DS. Last summer when he turned a year old i decided to go back to try again, since i suspect i have a LP issue, i did do a few cycles that were a BFN . Juggling the RE appts and trying to arrange for childcare for my DS was super difficult and stressful. After the last BFN cycle and the more i thought about it, the more I realized that I was not ready emotionally or financially to handle two so close in age. And instead of obsessing about getting pg with #2 that I should be focusing on enjoying time with my DS. I am now aiming for a 3 year age gap, so we will try again when DS turns 2 this summer, I just hope that it can happen on its own because it would be really difficult for me to go back to the RE.

Having another child

wow I was actually going to post something similar today!
DD is 13 months today and we conceived her via IVF after 3 rounds.
I want another baby so bad but I struggle knowing what I might have to do again..the shots..the Drs visits...the stress that comes with IF. I wish it would happen naturally but in the back of my mind I just know we are going to have to go to RE again.

Having another child

Dd a 9 months and was also conceived via Ivf, our 2nd round. I would love a second, but really don't want them so close in age...at least 2 years apart ideally 3. Part of me doesn't want to want to try bc if we try naturally for awhile then I can go back to the re saying well at least we tried on our own.

It already stresses me out all the shots, appointments...and what would I do with dd during ALL those appointments.

Re: Having another child

To me, if you're hesitating about trying again, then you aren't ready. Having a baby is a big deal - whether it's your first or your fifth. You can't assume that just because it took you a few tries with your that it will take as long with the second. IMO, you have to be ready so that if that first try works, you are ready. Starting to try now just because it may not happen for a few months doesn't mean you will be ready in 3 months. What if the summer comes and you decide you should've waited another year? Or even 6 months? You aren't tied to only trying in the summer. I know that being a teacher means that summer is easier for you, but many of us work 12 months of the year and we find ways to juggle RE appts and work. It's not easy, but when you're ready, you find ways to make it work.

DH and I struggled with our first for over a year. DS is now almost 14 months and we talk about when we will try for our 2nd, but we know we just aren't ready yet. So we wait. We will know when we're ready.