Stay at home dad

Hi all. This is my first time posting on this board. I'm expecting twins in June and we are starting to think about our day care options. With the cost of daycare we are considering having my DH stay home for at least the first year. Does anyone else's DH stay home while you work? Any challenges? I wish I could stay home but we rely more on my income than his.

Re: Stay at home dad

Not exactly the same but DH is retired so he is now a stay at home dad. DD does go to preschool a few days a week too. I love it. He does laundry, starts dinner, food shops, does errands. I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom, so I love going to work and he loves being home with her. It works great for us!

Re: Stay at home dad

Not the exact situation but DH works nights and is home with DD during the day while I am at work. It is wonderful knowing that she is in his care and he really gets to spend a lot of time with her.

Re: Stay at home dad

We're pretty much in the same boat as you are. My maternity leave ends in 2 weeks. If I put DS into the least expensive child care option I've been able to find, we will net $50 a week. I know it adds up to $200 a month, but to me it isn't worth it, to have to schlep him out to the sitter, run there before and after work, rush home before the school bus, worry about DS getting sick from all the other kids, plus have nobody to watch my girls during school vacations and holidays. Plus, I would be getting a cleaning lady once I returned to work, because it is just too much for me. So the $200 would be less still. Until DH can find a better job that gives him more hours than what he has currently, he will be doing it. He will have to do the cleaning, the kid stuff, make lunches, do homework, and food shopping as well. Cooking, I don't see happening much; but there will only be 2 nights when I won't be around to cook. He says he can handle it. We'll see...

Re: Stay at home dad

I stayed home the first year bc I was able to take the time and DH makes more money had roles been reversed he would have stayed home, whatever works for your family, good luck!

Stay at home dad

I think that a SAHD is a great thing! My husband would love to do this, but we do net a good amount from his salary after daycare costs, and we need that money. He would make a amazing stay at home parent

Re: Stay at home dad

Not us but my BIL is a stay at home Dad to four kids since 2006.

The youngest just started kindergarten so he is now looking for a job again.

It has worked out great for their family! The kids have loved it, my SIL has done very well with her career, and my BIL is wonderful with the kids. He cooks, run errands, does everything. When they were in preschool, he renovated the bathroom!

I stay at home and have met lots of stay at home dads at the park, music class, library story time, etc. It is becoming more common now.

I say it sounds good for your family, too!

Re: Stay at home dad

Not exactly the same boat but for the fist few months, DH watched her for 4 days/week (he's an adjunct professor and took less classes to accomplish this). I felt great that I was leaving our baby with him when I first had to go back. DH did have some issues (sort of felt like a one-dimensional househusband - a lot similar to how I'd feel if I were the one staying home!). I think it only worked because there was a finite end date. We knew that once she was 9 months, we would be doing daycare. So in that respect, this arrangement may work out for you as the situations are similar. Only the actual experience will tell whether DH would be able to do longer than a year!

I also need to add that DH can't multitask. So when he was home with the baby, he watched the baby. And that was it. No cleaning, bottle-washing, anything else!

Stay at home dad

My DH is a stay at home dad and it works perfectly for us.

Stay at home dad

Thank you for your replies. My biggest concern was that he would feel isolated but I agree that it sea to be more common now.

Stay at home dad

A good family friend of ours did it. His wife had a very high powered career and he had been self-employed for years. He sold his business and stayed home. It worked out great! He did all the house work, is a great cook, took the kids every where once they entered school. I think if the dad wants to do it, it can be wonderful.

Re: Stay at home dad

Stay at home dad

I am in the same boat as you. I work full time and my husband stays at home with our twins. He lost his job and it is not affordable to put the babies in day care while both of us work. The twins are 17 months old and I went back to work full time when they were 3 months. It was tough in the beginning. However, we have all adjusted well. I am happy knowing that the kids are in safe hands during the day and are well taken care of. If they were in day care, I would be a nervous wreck. Now they are at the age where they need more interaction with other kids. We have recently started a music class with them and My husband takes them to the gym with him where they play with other kids.
As far as first year challenges, there is a lot of added stress and dealing with problems on the spot. For the first few months they sleep, eat, poop, and play.