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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Tantrums-18th Month Olds
I am at my wits end with my dd. Shes 18 months and her tantrums are out of control. Shes thrown some tantrums. which I expect to happen.
BUT this week she has hit an all time high. And I have lost my patience. It is now ruining my day and whomever I am with. I am mortified when Im in public. Like shes become out of control.
I was trying distraction or just ignoring the behavior. And granted she has been sick all week so I understand she may be crankier than usual. BUT this isn't just cranky. This isn't my usual well behaved baby.
She throws tantrums...
-when you tell her no.
-if I take her away from playing with something dangerous.
-if I make her sit down to eat in her highchair or in a highchair at a restaurant.
Her tantrum consists of:
-sitting herself on the floor, then laying down and screaming bloody murder at the top of her lungs. TOP OF HER LUNGS.
or
-throwing herself (body and head) back (which I get concerned about her seriously hurting herself because she has hit her head before)
-banging her head on the wall
-putting her mouth on anything (tables, cabinets)
Its def worse when shes not sleeping well. Like today was a bad day. She skipped her nap and was horrible all afternoon and evening. Shes overtired and actually screaming right now in her crib. I just don't know what to do at this point. I never EVER thought I would let her cry it out but tonight shes gonna cry it out. Cause My husband and I have tried everything to soothe her.
I need help. Clearly I am doing something wrong that this is escalating and I need advice. If you have any please help me. How do I discipline my 18 month old?
I know shes gonna throw some tantrums but this is out of control. And Im concerned. Like do I bring this up to the peds?
Im trying to thing of anything else that has changed this week (like diet or something but nothing) besides the fact that shes left with a cough from a bad bronchial virus last week. But she wasn't even this bad during the worse part of her sickness.Even if you can recommend a good book about this. I will do anything.
Message edited 12/29/2013 7:45:12 PM.
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Posted 12/29/13 7:42 PM  |
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jax1023
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 1165 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Tantrums-18th Month Olds
I just ignore my son. If he doesn't get attention, he eventually stops. And he'll learn not to bother,
But I know you said she had been sick. The worst week I ever had it turned out he had an ear infection and I had no idea. He was out of control that week. So maybe look into that, he had no other signs, was basically over a cold, no ear pulling, no fever.
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| Posted 12/29/13 8:25 PM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tantrums-18th Month Olds
Agree with pp. Rule out medical issues first. Especially since she was recently sick!
But also,
Can you give a play by play of something that might result in you saying "no"
Also what do you do specifically when you see her playing with something dangerous?
Do you have any thoughts as to why she doesn't want to sit in her high chair?
Message edited 12/29/2013 9:17:42 PM.
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| Posted 12/29/13 9:15 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Re: Tantrums-18th Month Olds
Ooo wow i will look into the ear infection... i have peds appt tues for check up...
I know when shes overtired shes a mess. And that would def explain today. But what do i do when she wont nap? Do i just let her cio for naptime?
She will try to play with the outlets. Take plugs out. Play with nightlight. I tell her no touch. You can get a boo boo. She just stands there and tries to do it again. I physically remove her from the area and show her a toy. She screams and cries and tries to walk back to the room with the outlet.
She wants to play with a knife. Or run around holding a glass bottle.
The highchair is my dh and i fault because we dont really make her sit in it to eat. We allow her to sit in the living room with us when we eat which means she sits on the couch or in her anywhere chair and eventually she runs around. So i will take the blame for that. BUT when were out half the time shes ok in the highchair when we play videos or i give her crayons. The other times its a mess.
I can fix that.
Im.gonna keep a tantrum diary if it turns out to not be medical.
Again i just need to narrow down triggers is what im learning.
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| Posted 12/29/13 9:49 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tantrums-18th Month Olds
Tantrums are normal. Even in public... I just take my screaming DD out and smile saying "terrible 2s starting early". If on floor, I let her go. If in traffic or an unsafe place, I move her to a safe place. DS would bang his head... I'd move him to a carpet & let him go. It stopped.
Don't expect behavior at a restaurant that you don't get at home. So, if you want her to sit in a high chair, put her in a high chair every day at home for every meal.
She's young... She won't understand what you are warning her about... Heck, she won't for years. Baby proof. No knifes or bottles in reach. Unplug all non essential cords & put furniture against essential ones. New & forbidden is always exciting. Buy outlet covers that are hard to remove. Cabinet locks are cheap & priceless.
As for sleep, that's tough. CIO worked for DD for naps well, but not for DS. Most important thing is having a routine & sticking to it.
Good luck & drink Some wine when you want to kill her. It makes it all better.
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| Posted 12/29/13 10:22 PM |
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july4mrsO
Happy boy!
Member since 5/10 2867 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Tantrums-18th Month Olds
For my DS, distraction doesn't work as well as just ignoring the tantrum. Like your DD, he can be physically wild during tantrums and I get concerned he will hurt himself. He throws himself on the floor, bangs his head on the wall, etc. I try to calm him down before it gets out of hand but once it reaches that point of no return, I know I have to ignore it to make it stop. I will gently lay him down in the middle of our area rug with nothing in reach to hurt himself and then walk away.
Hang in there, it's not easy! And I just want to add that 99% of my DS's tantrums are because I'm trying to make sure he doesn't get hurt. NO, you can't put your finger in the outlet - NO, you can't jump on the couch - NO, you can't run out in the middle of the parking lot. You're not alone!
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| Posted 12/30/13 8:14 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Tantrums-18th Month Olds
She sounds completely normal to me.
We just ignore it. My DS is generally good in public but at home he is a beast and we ignore the tantrums and just make sure he is safe.
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| Posted 12/30/13 8:41 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Tantrums-18th Month Olds
I believe there is an emotional growth spurt around 18 months so that could be part of it. She may be going through a lot of changes and have a hard time dealing or just be testing limits. I always try to prevent as much as possible to avoid dealing with tantrums. We try to put plugs behind furniture so she can't get out them, you could take the nightlight out during the day, etc. There were a few weeks I tried to avoid picking DD up while in the kitchen bc it always led to her wanting to hold something she spotted on the counter that was off limits. If I know something might lead to a fit, I try to keep it out of sight. I know it sounds a little extreme but if I can avoid dealing with a crying fit it's worth it to me.
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| Posted 12/30/13 8:58 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tantrums-18th Month Olds
Posted by jax1023
I just ignore my son. If he doesn't get attention, he eventually stops. And he'll learn not to bother,
But I know you said she had been sick. The worst week I ever had it turned out he had an ear infection and I had no idea. He was out of control that week. So maybe look into that, he had no other signs, was basically over a cold, no ear pulling, no fever.
This happens a lot with our 21 month old. He had a double ear infection about 2 weeks ago and then he was acting out last week and it turn out it wasn;t cleared up.
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| Posted 12/30/13 9:45 AM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tantrums-18th Month Olds
Posted by BlessedMomma
Im.gonna keep a tantrum diary if it turns out to not be medical.
Again i just need to narrow down triggers is what im learning.
Yes to both. You want to write what they were doing and how you corrected her.
It's good that you give her a replacement when she gets into things that are dangerous, but make sure the replacement serves the same function. Ie. If she is playing with the outlet covers, you will want to give her a sorter or something where you fit pieces into corresponding holes so the objective is similar. You also might offer to play with her when you do it. This way she gets some positive attention out of it as well.
Unless a child is simply playing with dangerous items because they are bored or satiated with the toys they have (which from your example it doesn't sound like) not just any toy will do.
Also show your 18 month old what the purpose of the outlet covers are when she is calm and attentive. Curiosity killed the cat... Speaking of cat, this idea is similar to the cat that scratches your rug. You would want to replace that behavior by giving them a post to scratch on. Not a toy to play with. Scratching is necessary for cats so while giving the cat a toy might distract it for a bit, it is not replacing the need to scratch. This is true for children as well as it satisfies certain sensory input.
ETA sorry.. Just read it's not outlet covers she removes as much as devices. Same concept still applies.
Message edited 12/30/2013 10:50:14 AM.
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| Posted 12/30/13 10:44 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Tantrums-18th Month Olds
Posted by BlessedMomma
She will try to play with the outlets. Take plugs out. Play with nightlight. I tell her no touch. You can get a boo boo. She just stands there and tries to do it again. I physically remove her from the area and show her a toy. She screams and cries and tries to walk back to the room with the outlet.
She wants to play with a knife. Or run around holding a glass bottle.
IMO you just have to keep telling her No.
here is an example of DS. We have our liquor on a low shelf under a table. He would constantly play with it. I would always tell him no, sometimes move him and he would ALWAYS go back. Just kept telling him no. Now he doesn't even go near it. It no longer interests him and he knows he isn't allowed there. They learn but it takes time. So yes there will be TONS of tantrums. Also DS now hands us a knife if there is one a the table because he knows that he isn't allowed knives and they give boo boos.
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| Posted 12/30/13 11:50 AM |
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