To CIO or not to CIO

Im not here to judge anyone and think whateve anyone chooses is right for them but im torn.

My dh and i differ on cio. One agrees one doesnt. Im trying to get all the facts so im not only seeing my side.

PRO QUESTIONS
did you always know you would or did you decide for one reason or another?
How old did you start?
Did it work semi-fast? Meaning hours per night and amount of nights
If you tried was it something you had to commit to all the way or could two days in you give up
If it worked has it lasted?

CON QUESTIONS
Was LO a good sleeper to start or did it happen with time
How old before you could sleep a decent amount at nighy
Were you set in not CIO or were you going to potentially sway if LO didnt sleep better
Did/does lo use a pacifier

Thanks!!!

Message edited 11/29/2013 11:39:00 AM.

Re: Questions about CIO

I have 2 kids and did CIO with both. My experience was pretty much exactly the same for both children - when we started, why we started, how they took to it. They both sleep great now on the whole. They both also love their beds - something I thought would never happen lol. Thu both also started napping great after we did CIO and they were used to sleeping in their cribs all night!!

PRO QUESTIONS
did you always know you would or did you decide for one reason or another?
No - Had no judgement on CIO but didn't think it was for me and didn't attempt or have a desire to CIO until after 1 year. They usually went down in teir crib and wound up in our bed in the middle of the night. This was fine with us for a good while until none of us were sleeping well at night. So we tried CIO.

How old did you start?
Probably around 14 months.

Did it work semi-fast? Meaning hours per night and amount of nights
Yes - Night 1: probably about an hour of major crying plus a little longer of whining. Night 2: maybe a half hour or so, Night 3: probably only 10 minutes.

If you tried was it something you had to commit to all the way or could two days in you give up?
With #1 we had decided to try cio and couldnt handle it probably like twice before the final time. We couldnt handle the crying and would then change our mind and try the one where you go in after X amount of minutes, and the one where you leave gradually. These seemed to make things so much harder for us personally and For him too - we couldnt make up our minds what we were doing and it was inconsistant and confusing for him. Then probably like a month later We decided to commit to it. We said we'd do CIO - try it for an hour, no going in unless something major happened. Tried to watch an hour long show while feeling horrible but while it was hard, we could kinda tell it was going to work. Night #1 was hardest. Of course you could give in and decide its not for you.

If it worked has it lasted?
Yes, for the most part. There's been various times where they have periods of waking up in the middle of the night and as long as I know theyre ok I let them cry it out again... Is usually pretty quick

CON QUESTIONS
Was LO a good sleeper to start or did it happen with time
No! Pretty much was up every 2 hours with both kids for their first year and usually nursed them back to sleep. They both pretty much went from being scooped up any time they cried and sleeping on top of me in my bed for a year to CIO and sleeping alone. During times where theyre not feelig well/teething, etc they have come in my bed in the middle of the night and They definitely get longer stretches of solid sleep when they sleep on their own.

How old before you could sleep a decent amount at night
Once they started sleeping through the night in their own crib (after ab 3 days of CIO) We were all getting a full nights sleep every night. Before CIO my kids were up about every 2-3 hours but I usually brought them in bed with us.

Were you set in not CIO or were you going to potentially sway if LO didnt sleep better
Never had a firm Will/Wont philosophy on cio. But I will say that I was only able to do it when I decided I wanted to. People constantly told me to stop breastfeeding in the middle of the night, stop bringing them in my bed, etc. I did what made us happy and worked for us. When I felt like my kids werent getting enough proper rest, I felt that trying CIO was best. But at no other point would someone have convinced me to. The first night was hard but I guess my kids took to it pretty quickly and each night got much easier and shorter and only took about 3 days. If that hadn't been the case and it was like night #1 for a bunch of days straight I know I would not have continued with it.

Did/does lo use a pacifier
#1 gave it up young, before we did CIO
#2 still uses it at night

Good luck! You'll figure out what works best for you!

to CIO or to no CIO

wow thanks for your awesomely detailed response!

any one else

Re: To CIO or not to CIO

I did CIO at 9months. Honestly, I thought it would have been much easier on me to do it than it was, and that is why I waited that long. In hindsight, I think it would have been easier on all of us if we did it earlier, like 6 months, but you do have to be ready to commit to it. I tried for one night around that time and I just couldn't follow through. Sure, you can stop if you aren't comfortable but then it's kinda like you just put DC and yourself through that for nothing, kwim? But I did stop and then waited until I was ready, and then there was no turning back. DD started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks and stopped around 5 months. It got progressively worse until CIO. I'd love to tell you she only cried a few minutes for a few nights, but in our case it was an hour-hour and a half for over a week. She has been sleeping through the night ever since though, she's 14 months now. She didn't use a pacifier. Good luck, I know it's not an easy decision to make.

Re: To CIO or not to CIO

PRO QUESTIONS
did you always know you would or did you decide for one reason or another?

No. She was crying and fussing because she was tired. We couldn't help her no matter what. Even when we rocked her to sleep, or took her for a soothing car ride or walk in the stroller or whatever, she'd wake up and cry once we placed her in the crib. Letting her fuss a bit was really the only way.

How old did you start?

6-7 months

Did it work semi-fast? Meaning hours per night and amount of nights
If you tried was it something you had to commit to all the way or could two days in you give up
If it worked has it lasted?

I don't remember how long it took. But many times we could just place her in the crib and she lays right don't and is done. So nice! Now she's a bit older and curious and naps and bedtime can be more difficult.

I do want to add she would only nap in her swing but 90%tile she was quickly outgrowing it plus only getting 45 minute naps. One day I let her fuss in her crib a bit for a nap. She slept for 3 hours.

It is difficult if she regresses or is sick but overall I think we found a happy medium.

CON QUESTIONS
Was LO a good sleeper to start or did it happen with time

Once she was asleep she would sleep a long time.


How old before you could sleep a decent amount at nighy She was already sleeping through the night. It was getting her to sleep that was the problem.

Were you set in not CIO or were you going to potentially sway if LO didnt sleep better
Did/does lo use a pacifier

DD stopped using the pacifier at 4 months. So we used the swing. She was outgrowing it. At the time, we felt it was the only thing we could do.

She's happy and healthy and thriving. She loves her mommy and daddy as we meet her needs. Sleep is a need and if we have to let her fuss a little bit in order for her to get a good nap, then that's what we do. Every family is different and different methods work for different people. I read a few methods and we just followed what we needed. I completely understand how some don't want to CIO but others like us need it.

Re: To CIO or not to CIO

PRO QUESTIONS
did you always know you would or did you decide for one reason or another?
We had no "plan" but at 5+ months I was exhausted. It was getting hard for Dh and I to function at work. We knew dd wasn't hungry (she would eat an ounce or so - it was the comfort she wanted) so we felt it was time to try


How old did you start?
We attempted at 5.5 months but I think she was too young to self soothe so we waited a month and did it successfully at about 6.5 months

Did it work semi-fast? Meaning hours per night and amount of nights
Dd woke once (around 2am) and cried for a longggg 45 minutes. It's tough. Same thing night two. Night three was only 30 minutes and night 4 she sttn
So glad we did it!

If you tried was it something you had to commit to all the way or could two days in you give up
Since it worked for dd after night 3, I would either give up after the first night or try to make it through night three.

If it worked has it lasted?
She is 9+ months and unless teething or sick she sttn

We do keep blankies in her crib and I think that's helps soothe her.

Good luck!

To CIO or not to CIO

I was against doing CIO.

CON QUESTIONS
Was LO a good sleeper to start or did it happen with time
They were not good sleepers. But it happened over time

How old before you could sleep a decent amount at nighy
probably around 1 years old. and that was sttn. but they were also sleeping "decent" by like 6-7 months

Were you set in not CIO or were you going to potentially sway if LO didnt sleep better
I tried with my first. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't let her scream for me and not comfort her.

Did/does lo use a pacifier
Yes

Re: To CIO or not to CIO

I did CIO with DS and while it's not for everyone, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

PRO QUESTIONS
did you always know you would or did you decide for one reason or another?
My sister did CIO and I basically just follow her parenting because she has well behaved (for the most part), good sleeping, nicely developing children.

How old did you start?
Just before 6 months.

Did it work semi-fast? Meaning hours per night and amount of nights
The first night, we had to go into Reid's room twice. The second, once. After that we went in once or twice for a few days. Now we do not go in at all and he falls right to sleep. He even trained himself to go into his crib at naptime.

If you tried was it something you had to commit to all the way or could two days in you give up.
We did it for a few days and then he got sick, so we stopped and tried again. I don't really count our "trying" until after he was sick because we completely reverted back to madness when we stopped trying, but it could have been from his fever.

If it worked has it lasted?
He goes down between 7-8pm and wakes up between 6:30-8am. It is wonderful. He's 10 months now.