maternity leave for moms of 2 or more...

did anyone have DC1 home with them while on maternity leave for DC2??

i'm not due til may but i am already stressing about this - i dont know how i am going to manage.

DD will be 15 months when #2 is born and i will have them both home with me alone for the most part for 3 months.

DD is not in daycare - i am fortunate enough that my mom watches her but my mom already told me that when i am home she will come maybe once a week to help out (shes also planning a 2+ week vacation during that time period) as much as i appreciate any help i can get - i dont know how i will function.
wtih DD when i was on leave, she would nap, i would nap. but having a 15 month old (who already only takes 1 nap a day) has me worried that i wont ever be able to sleep.
i also feel guilty that i wont be able to give dc2 my undivided attention as i did for dc1.

any words of encouragement/wisdom from btdt moms?

Re: maternity leave for moms of 2 or more...

Im a sahm, but when I had DD1, DS was only 18 months, and i didnt have any help, except when DH came home from work. It took me awhile to get out to stores and stuff with them both, but I think it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I think the best thing was trying to stick to a schedule, but a flexible one if that makes sense. I BF DD so i always made sure i had books or something to entertain DS with during that time.

It will be hard, but it has a way of working itself out, and now my kids are 4 and 3 and the best of friends, i wouldnt want it any other way!

Ohh and my crockpot was my best friend lol

Re: maternity leave for moms of 2 or more...

DD will be home with me while I'm on my maternity leave and I am very worried about all of the same things as you. I'll also have some sporadic help, but it will mostly just be me and the two kids.

I'm going to let everything go (housework, cooking) except the absolute essentials, and just try to be flexible and roll with the punches.

DH just keeps reminding me that thousands of moms have done the same thing and survived, so I'm just hoping for the best and praying it won't be as hard as I am imagining.

Re: maternity leave for moms of 2 or more...

I am a SAHM when I had DS2, DS1 was 3, so it was a bigger gap but honestly you just deal. You will figure it out, you dont have a choice honestly.

I remember I was exhausted alot! DS2 didnt STTN for 7 months and when he napped DS1 wanted attention, play games, etc. If you are lucky you will be able to get DC1 and DC2 to nap a the same time, and no matter how messy the house is you have to say tough and just lay down even if its for 20 minutes!

Dont stress because its one of those things that just works itself out. The house might not be as tidy as you like, you may eat more take out than normal but you will get throught it!

Re: maternity leave for moms of 2 or more...

I'm a ftwm but dd is home everyday. 3 days with the babysitter and 2 with family. I'm still paying my babysitter to come while I'm on leave. It will be nice to have the help bc I feel the same. What about getting a young college student to come over and help, even if its only a few hours.

maternity leave for moms of 2 or more...

My dd was 23 months when ds came. Hubby was home 2wks since I had a c-section and then it was all me. It was fine. Sure help would have made it easier but the realty is any kids after #1 just don't get as much time as the 1st did. I am due with #3 and will have no help at all. You'll be fine just give yourself time to adjust.

Re: maternity leave for moms of 2 or more...

I am a ftwm of 2 with #3 on the way. I have c sections so DH takes off 2 weeks then it is all me. There is def an adjustment ( my first two were 21 months apart) it was hard to adjust to going grocery shopping or target, I learned to pull a second cart because I couldnt fit groceries in with a toddler and an infant seat. I tried to relax if they both happened to nap at the same time, but you end up adjusting to not having that time because your a mom and you have no choice. You will get into a routine and adjust... And youll end up seeing that most of the time your infant is way easier than your toddler!

Re: maternity leave for moms of 2 or more...

I had a much bigger age gap between my two DS. They are exactly 3 years apart. I came home from the hospital on a Wed and my DH went back to work the next day. I didn't even get the first night home with DH home the next day. He couldn't take off anymore days. So I was home with both of them all day. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would of been. But it also helped my oldest was 3. Having a 15 month old and newborn is not going to be easy but you will manage. You just figure things out and get into a routine. Get a sling or and Ergo carrier. It is going to help you a lot. If you can have your DH stay home for a week so you can settle in.
Taking naps like you did the first time around is just not going to happen. My oldest didn't nap anymore when I brought my youngest home. So I hardly napped during the day. I was tired. I just made sure I went to bed really early at night.
You will be fine!

maternity leave for moms of 2 or more...

Why are worried? I ask because is it just the nb phase and the beginning you are stressed about or having 2 kids?