2nd baby question

So I have a lil girl that I love more than life.
I know how this is going to sound so don't judge me...

And when we decide to start trying for another I don't want to have another girl. Am I a horrible person? I feel like I am because I know it doesn't and shouldn't matter as long as the baby is healthy. I know that from my own traumatic past experience of having a late loss.

I want her to be my only girl. Im well aware I cant control that. I know its not a rational thought but I love our bond I cant imagine having a bond like it with another girl. Id much prefer a boy.

Has anyone ever felt like that? Has anyone felt that and had a second of the same sex? How was it?

Re: 2nd baby question

I'm the opposite as you.

I had one DD and wanted to 2nd to be a girl so she could have a sister

My wish came true

Re: 2nd baby question

Not ready for #2 (DD is only 3 mos old!), but I would be thrilled either way. I always wanted a sister but it didn't happen. I would love for her to have that. A baby brother would be great too.

I do get what you're saying though. It may be hard to imagine now, but when that baby is in your arms, boy or girl, you will completely and utterly fall in love.

2nd baby question

I don't think I would worry too much about how you're feeling. As a mom of one, I figure there are so many parts of being a parent of two that I can't even imagine yet. Kind of like you never really knew how it would feel to be a mom to one until it happened. I know DH and his family are dying for a boy, I would love to see DD with a sister though and get more use out of all her girly stuff. Even though I would love another girl, I have zero doubts that having a boy would bring all kinds of new amazing experiences. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it, it's natural to lean one way whether we like to admit it or not. Like the pp said, as soon as a new baby is in your arms, all your worries will go out the window!

Re: 2nd baby question

Your feelings are your feelings, and gender of a child is one of those things some people feel very strongly about.

The idea of a future child and the actual little person you create are two different things. I don't know anyone who was disappointed about the gender they were having who could imagine it any other way now that their child is here.

2nd baby question

i can understand your feelings. dd is 9 months and i am due with #2 in may. i want to know the sex bc i would love a boy - and so would DH. however, we are team green bc i dont want to be disappointed for the next few months of my pregnancy. i know that how i feel now will change once i hold a beautiful healthy baby in my arms - boy or girl. no matter what i think i want or dont want, when DC2 arrives ill be over the moon excited

2nd baby question

I wanted DC # 2 to be a a boy so DS could have a brother, and that's what I got. Trust me, you will love another daughter just as much. I love my boys differently, but equally. And I know if DH & I decide to go for # 3, my heart will make room for another son or a daughter. My bond with DS # 1 is just as strong and special as it was when he was an only child. The heart's capacity for love is unending- it all will work out the way it is supposed to.

Re: 2nd baby question

No, you are not a horrible person. Before we get married and before we have children, we all have images in our head of what our family will look like. While it may not always happen the way we imagine, we can't help the way we feel. I've always dreamed of having a boy and a girl. Two kids, one of each. It was always my ideal family. Now that I have a DS and I'm expecting #2, I honestly and truly would be thrilled with either a girl or another boy. I would still love to have one of each, but I would also LOVE to give DS a brother.

Like the PPs have said, once your baby is here, in your arms, I don't think there will be much room for disappointment or regret. You will discover that you can have that same mother/daughter bond with both of them.

Re: 2nd baby question

2nd baby question

Thank you so much ladies. I know your all right cause the amount of love i have for my dd i never could imagine before she was here. I knew i would love her unconditionally but actually having her here and FEELING that uncondtional love is so different than it is in theory.

I know i will love my next child no matter the gender i guess it was just some thoughts/feelings i was having and just wanted to express to some non judgenental moms.

Thanks again ladies!

Re: 2nd baby question

I was worried about being able to love a second child as much... regardless of sex.

Then, I had my angel! She's amazing. Your heart just makes more room!

Re: 2nd baby question

I was more terrified of not having enough love for another child. I was sooo obsessed with DD1, I couldn't imagine feeling the same way for another person. Gender wise, I wanted a boy to "complete" our family, but I wanted a girl to give DD a little sister (I have 3 sisters). God decided it was more important for DD to have that little sister! I somply ADORE both of my girls for different reasons...but I love them equally, I really do. My heart explodes just looking at them.

Also...I love being "the girls" with them. I love that my older will say..."Mommy, can we go get pizza, just the girls, not Daddy?" lol. I love that THEY will be able to relate to each other growing up (ya know, when they decide they don't want to tell mommy everything anymore). There will be fighting and jealousy, but I think same gender siblings share such a special bond.

Message edited 11/13/2013 11:44:05 AM.

Re: 2nd baby question

Posted by ko123

I was more terrified of not having enough love for another child. I was sooo obsessed with DD1, I couldn't imagine feeling the same way for another person. Gender wise, I wanted a boy to "complete" our family, but I wanted a girl to give DD a little sister (I have 3 sisters). God decided it was more important for DD to have that little sister! I somply ADORE both of my girls for different reasons...but I love them equally, I really do. My heart explodes just looking at them.

Also...I love being "the girls" with them. I love that my older will say..."Mommy, can we go get pizza, just the girls, not Daddy?" lol. I love that THEY will be able to relate to each other growing up (ya know, when they decide they don't want to tell mommy everything anymore). There will be fighting and jealousy, but I think same gender siblings share such a special bond.

Re: 2nd baby question

I have a 2.5 year old DD and I am 17 weeks pregnant with DC #2....I want another girl. I have had nightmares that I go for my gender scan (next week) and it's a boy.

I envision myself with "my girls" and I know I will be disappointed and maybe even upset if I find out it's a boy.

I know how this sounds to other people....and I know if its a boy I'll be a little upset that my vision is gone and then I'll start to get excited about having a little boy. In the meantime, I can't help how I feel and neither can you

2nd baby question

Aww thank you for all the hugs. I didnt even think of that i regards to a girls day and the bonding. I dont have a sister only a brother. And it would have been nice having a girl around lol i was very tom boyish...

I dont believe in messing with any procedures to determine sex its not personally for me. I leave that to a higher power. I believe everything happens for a reason so what will be will be. I guess i was just looking to hear others thoughts and views and its helped me a lot.