Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

I have a few is this "normal" ? For an almost 3 yr old (he's 2 3/4)

1. To be fair my DS hasn't been around many children his own age, Maybe a handful of times. I don't have anyone I know that has kids, so I've been trying to find some programs around here, but there are so few and so far away (I don't live on LI) The other day an old friend was in town with her so who is close to his age. They came over and right away my DS wants to hug and kiss the kid. It seemed like he was in awe at first, walking up so close to him, then the hugging and hand holding came. He did this same thing to another child, like 4 yr old a few months back at a birthday party. He will not do this with adults, thank god. Is this ok? My family and I are big huggers and kissers, if it matters.

2. He's unable to put on socks and shoes on. It's hard for me to even get his shoes on though, he tries but can't get them on.

3. He doesn't really ever want to color, he'll scribble a bit then he's done. He can do it, he just doesn't like it. I try to get him to copy lines or a circle and he just doesn't want to. He only likes coloring in the bath with his bath crayons.

4. Another one I was worried I read on a milestone type chart. It said your child should be able to use a stick or some other implement to reach a toy that they can't get. My DS doesn't do this. If he can't reach something he either climbs to get it or will say "mommy, I want xxx." I think this was under cognitive development, which worries me :(

He's such a nice guy. For the things he can't do he can do lots of other things. He knows all shapes, colors and letters. Can identify numbers 1-10 and count to 4. He speaks fairly well, mostly all sentences. He's very observant and comments on EVERYTHING lol. He likes to pretend to play the drums and guitar and likes to cook in his kitchen. He can do his puzzles and can stack blocks (when he wants to ;) He's polite and always says please and thank you. He knows all his animals and their sounds.

The milestone lists scare me if he misses one or two. Are they set in stone or can they sometimes be taken with a grain of salt?

Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

First, take the milestone charts with a grain of salt. They're not hard set timeframes. Some kids do things earlier, and some do them later. That said, here's my experience with my DD, who turned two in July (so she's a little younger than your son).

1. My DD is extremely affectionate as well. She is constantly hugging other children to the point that it is sometimes excessive. But I am a very affectionate person as well and am constantly hugging and kissing her, so I figured it just rubbed off on her. Well, I just learned DD has sensory issues and this is part of it. I'm NOT saying your son might have sensory issues. Just giving you my experience. But kids love kids and some are more affectionate than others.

2. DD can not put her shoes and socks on. She just learned to take them off, nevermind put them on. She does have a fine motor delay and low muscle tone, which could play a role in that.

3. DD just started to gain an interest in coloring. But she still won't sit and color for a while. It's just for a few minutes.

4. I've never taken note of this one, so I can't help too much. Just wanted to point out again that milestones are not hard and fast.

If you have concerns, you can always talk to the pediatrician. If you're still uneasy, you can have him evaluated to see if there are any issues. DD has had speech, OT and PT evals and currently receives OT therapy. You can also request a sensory profile be done to see if there are any sensory issues.

Re: Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

I feel like #4 is the only thing that would worry me even though that's really about problem solving and everyone solves problems in their own way and let's face it, some people are just better problem solvers than others. i really don't feel like anything is wrong. But if you are THAT worried, mention these items to the doctor at your next well visit. They'll probably tell you that you are being overly concerned and everything is fine! (and if not, at least they can direct you on how/where to get appropriate help). But these things sound totally normal to me.

Re: Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

I don't recall either of my DC using a stick or something to get a toy when they were 3ish. Honestly, I think it's smarter to just ask for it. It's faster and easier, so I think a DC that asks is smarter than someone who struggles with a stick....
I know *I'd* rather have someone else get stuff for me than to try and struggle with a stick (although I do, because I'm the one that everyone else calls when they can't reach something... )

Re: Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

I would say ALL completely normal. My DD was a huge hugger when she was 3 to the point where I would nearly give a public disclaimer at the playground as she would be so "lovey" to all the kids.

My DS is 4 and its only since he started Pre K that he is sit down and color - its just not in his nature - my DD loved coloring but DS is more inclined to cut up paper with a scissors.

Its good to keep an eye on milestones and to be pro active but its also important to not let them drive you crazy.

Your DS sounds like a very normal, healthy, lovable boy

Re: Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

My 3yo won't color either. He scribbles for like 5 seconds, and then moves on to something else. He also cannot put on his own socks/shoes. He tries and can usually get his socks as far as his toes, but that's it. He's only able to take them off.

I don't recall him ever using a stick or other item to reach for something else. The only thing he does is put his stepstool into position when he's ready to use the sink or potty, but that's because he is trained to do that! I don't think he would have thought of it on his own.

I agree with the PPs... every child does things at his/her own pace and these "milestones" are only meant to be an average. Some kids do things very early compared to others, and some kids do things very late.

Re: Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

Posted by GoldenRod

I don't recall either of my DC using a stick or something to get a toy when they were 3ish. Honestly, I think it's smarter to just ask for it. It's faster and easier, so I think a DC that asks is smarter than someone who struggles with a stick....
I know *I'd* rather have someone else get stuff for me than to try and struggle with a stick (although I do, because I'm the one that everyone else calls when they can't reach something... )

Message edited 10/23/2013 4:43:11 PM.

Re: Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

Why don't you just go to the playground or indoor open plays? The kids will socialize on their own, you don't need to know anyone.

Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

My DS is 3 and he doesn't like coloring or craft activities. But neither do I so it's not a big part of our day. DS just started using his hockey stick to get things from under the tables and couches... overall sounds like normal behavior for a 3 year old.

Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

DD just turned 18 months and part of the survey I was given asked about using a stick to get something out of reach. I thought it was a bizarre question! It specifically asked if she would do it if I showed her how. I did, and she immediately copied me when I asked her to. Are you sure it meant doing it on his own? Maybe see if he'll do it with your guidance. Honestly, I don't really see the point of the question either way.

Re: Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

I think all the behaviors are fine.

At 3yo my son used to rub people's cheeks, only people he really liked, kids mostly. It was alttle odd, but it was just his way of being sweet to them. At 5.5 he still does it to his brother, who most of the time yells at him, but that another story. But thats the only person he does it to now. At 3yo it was all his good friends, cousins etc.

Same son, hates coloring, it has never been his thing. He is in first grade and in K homeworks was a nightmare becuase each night he had to color and it was a fight. Sit him with a book of math equations and he is happy as a clam. but coloring he can't stand. He is more scientific than artistic. he just is who he is.

As far as socks and shoes, my first son still wont do these things unless I yell and scream about it. Honestly because he never had to, he was my first and I just did it for him, never really thought of it being a milestone. he doesnt care much about what he wears or anything and he likes me to just do it. He CAN do it but doesnt want to be bothered. However my 2yo will do all this, he even undresses himself for the bath. I think its because his whole life, there has only been 1 of me but 2 kids, so if he didnt want to wait he had to take matters into his own hands. He is much more of a do it yourself kid than his brother. But his brother had 3 years of having 100% of our attention.

Honestly I wouldnt worry, I am sure all these things are fine and your son is developing normally. Where are you located, I know some women on here are always looking to set up playdates and such!

PS each time I go to the ped and have to do those milestone check lists, I feel some are so off the wall and silly. Really use a stick to get something??

Message edited 10/23/2013 9:18:10 PM.

Re: Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

My DD is 28 months and just recently hugged and kissed a complete stranger child her own age on the playground...the other girl reciprocated the affection, but now I tell DD that we wave and say hi, but we don't touch other kids.

As far as the stick thing, I can't even think of a situation where DD would have the opportunity to do this... Her toys are easily accessible to her, and I don't keep sticks lying around my house for her to use as a tool, so I think this milestone is silly!

She puts shoes on (1/2 the time on the wrong feet, but if I tell her to switch them, she will), but not socks by herself.

She loves to color, but some days she loses interest right away and others she'll stick with it longer.

Message edited 10/23/2013 10:30:52 PM.

Re: Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

DS turns 3 in a couple weeks. For #1.... I would sy the huggings not a bad thing.... Just maybe show him something else to do instead that's a little more appropriate for people he doesn't know well. ( like give high fives, or waving to them). DS is a grabber so I tell him" no grabbing- just wave hi!" It gives him a more appropriate thing to do.

He can put his shoes on himself.... But rarely does BC he gets frustrated too easily, or I just do it BC we need to get going socks are hard- he can't put those on yet.

Coloring just isn't his thing. He'll make a couple big scribbles on the page. and then he's done. I'm not too worried-he's just not into it.

I think the stick thing is more of an example. I think thy more want to know how he solves little problems. Like for my DS.... If he wants the light on in his room, he'll get his stp stool from the bathroom and take it to his room so he can reach the light switch. So maybe your DS doesn't literally use a stick to get a toy... But does he find ways to solve little Prolems on his own?

It sounds like he's doing fine though! I wouldn't be worried!

Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

My DS 3 1/4 and he doesn't really like affection. We tell him to give hugs when he says goodbye to family members but he kind of back into them and lets them hug his back/side. He almost never has kissed anyone on the mouth but people don't typically ask. Neither my nor DH's families are exceptionally affectionate. I am with DS - kissing and hugging him all the time but sometimes he'll say "Don't kiss me!!"

I've only seen a recent interest in coloring and even then it doesn't last long. He does this mostly at daycare when they do art projects. He scribbles

Normal or not in almost 3 yr old

Thanks everyone for all your responses and experiences.