OB's, midwives and homebirths...oh my...i have lots of questions!

I gave birth to my son in a hospital with pitocin and epidural with my OB whom I adore. However, in the back of my head and heart has been a little voice telling me i'd like to try to experience something more natural...not just no drugs, i'm talking water birth, possibly even home birth. I don't know if we will continue to grow our family further after #2 (although I think it's probably likely) but if this is it for me...I feel like maybe i'd like to experience that. I am definitely scared that i won't be able to handle it...but the other side of me says i'm a badass who can take alot of pain and i'd probably do better than i give myself credit for.

anyway, all that being said...i also feel like i'd be abandoning my OB. I don't even think Winthrop offers water birth as an option. from what i'm reading only NUMC does. I just don't know what to do. I know i need to do whats best for me and what will make me happy...but what if my image of water birth is not reality? DH isn't really on board either. he feels "if it ain't broke don't fix it" he feels we were blessed with a wonderful healthy son and had a quick and easy delivery last time and should just stick with what works.

I just feel like if i decide to switch practices i should do it soon and also, i love the modern convenience of sonograms and getting to see the baby but if i switch to a doula / midwife i'm afraid i won't get that. I'm looking for a balance between safe monitoring, good professional health care and the option to go natural and have someone support me in that.

Message edited 10/7/2013 5:38:07 PM.

Re: OB's, midwives and homebirths...oh my...i have lots of questions!

I had two home births and I had every ultrasound and test that I've received with an OB. There was no difference in the level of monitoring or safety.

NUMC is the only hospital that allows water birth. Gaia midwives deliver out of there, I've used Dale twice and I LOVE her! I have heard that Winthrop has a tub for laboring but you can't push in it. A lot of people recommend Melanie Summersille who delivers out of Winthrop.

Re: OB's, midwives and homebirths...oh my...i have lots of questions!

So, I went out to dinner with DH and we talked about it on the way there and I could tell he was still not liking the idea. he started to stay something but stopped himself and no matter how i pleaded for him to be open and tell me what was on his mind he said he didn't want to upset me. We had a nice dinner (hibachi. YUM!) and didn't even think about it again until we turned down the block to our home and he pulled over before our driveway and let it all out.

He said that the reason why he's so against it is because it scares him. He said the look on the doctors face when they checked my heart rate after giving birth was not a good one and one he will never forget. He was genuinely scared he was going to lose me after giving birth to our son. They wanted to give me a blood transfusion...and he fears that if the same were to happen during a home birth there is a possibility that they would not be able to give me the help i need in time in case something were to go wrong.

I know that my recovery was scary but I never really thought about what it all seemed like to him looking in on it all with the dr. and the i'vs and being genuinely scared. He also brought up a friend of mine who died months after giving birth to her daughter when her heart gave out. she was around my age and left her husband with 3 kids...my husband is scared shitless that that could be him.

After hearing his reasons and that it's not just coming from a "if it ain't broke don't fix it" point of view, it definitely changes things. I would love a natural water birth / home birth...but not if it makes my family worry about me dying in the process. I can tell that watching me have such a hard time after my sons birth really affected him more than he likes to talk about and I know that even a home water birth may not necessarily be a peaceful stress free event if my health and the stress on my husband overtake the moment.

Re: OB's, midwives and homebirths...oh my...i have lots of questions!

Honestly I will try and settle for a drug free natural birth at a hospital. This way you can have a natural birth but still be in a hospital with doctors and equipment should something go wrong.

OB's, midwives and homebirths...oh my...i have lots of questions!

Maybe a good middle ground would be a natural birth in a hospital. You could hire a doula that would support you during delivery and help you through a natural birth. I am also a firm believer in delivering in the hospital with access to a NICU. You just never know what you or the baby may need. Good luck!

Re: OB's, midwives and homebirths...oh my...i have lots of questions!

I would have loved to do a home birth, but my husband was TOTALLY not on board.

I settled with a midwife in a hospital. I used Melanie Summersille, who was fantastic. She delivers out of Winthrop. I believe there is a laboring tub (didn't see it) but you can't push in it. I fully credit Melanie with saving me from a c-section, and she was helpful with making a non-medicated birth possible. Would be happy to answer ques about the experience if you have any.

I went to see Gaia midwives and tour NUMC. Would have loved to deliver in the tub, but my insurance did not cover it.

I firmly believe that the fewer the interventions, the safer the birth. As in, maybe the pitocin and epidural affected you, making your heart rate drop/causing bleeding? That is what you tell your husband when he wants to stay the course with the OB. Using the midwife in the hospital is just as safe (safer, in my book) as an OB, since the OB is there in case of any emergency.

GL!!

Re: OB's, midwives and homebirths...oh my...i have lots of questions!

I thought Stony Brook just completed a new maternity wing that had tubs for water birth...have you looked into them? I know they have midwives too.

A friend of mine went all natural twice w/ the midwives and raves about her experience...but she was there before they completed the renovations.