Second Opinion

I am thinking of getting a second opinion. I like my practice and RE, but I am getting frustrated about why I am still not PG and why there are no answers.

I did PGD on my embryos, so I had to bank 3 cycles to get enough to test. We've been at this since March. I had 2 FET's with my normal embryos, both BFN.

I have my last FET with this batch in 2 weeks. I am thinking of going to another practice afterwards (if it's another BFN) just so someone can look over my chart and tell me if they would handle my situation differently.

This may be a dumb question, but how do you go about doing this? It feels like such a sticky situation because I don't know that i want to necessarily leave this practice, I am just curious if more could be done with me. Do I call and ask to have my records sent over for a second opinion? Won't it be weird that I'm having them fax it to another RE?

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Bump

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You should definitely get a second opinion!! Don't be embarrassed. It is expected! Have you been tested for immune issues?

Second Opinion

I went to a second opinion too. I felt like I was cheating on my RE lol. I think he knew I was going to go too, bc I asked the front desk for a copy of my records and I guess they told him. He was fine with it though. He even said, if I were in your shoes I would get all the info I could also, I would seek a second opinion also. But when I went, the other RE said there are no other testing he would do and it's all about tweaking meds. I love the RE where I started, so I decided to stick with them :) Doesn't hurt to get a second opinion, and lots of ladies do.

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Thank you so much for making me feel better! Did you have to pay for your records? Did they give them to you in person or were they mailed/faxed? I feel like I am cheating on my RE too, but I don't have a real intention of leaving....I just want a second set of eyes to see if I should be doing something differently. I'm tied of hearing that I didn't get PG for no particular reason.

I was tested for immune issues. DH and I had a close HLA match, but my current RE didn't see any connection between that and my failure to get pregnant/carry a baby. He sees it as very minor in the big picture.

Thanks again!

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I am going to get a 2nd opinion so I just asked at the front desk how to go about getting copies of my records- I just had to fill out a release form and there was an option to fill out a reason why- I wrote 2nd opinion- I'm not hiding anything. It took a few days and I picked them up- they charged me .75 per sheet of paper. I also told my RE when I met with him I'm going for a 2nd opinion and he felt it was the right decision since he doesn't know too much about auto-immune testing beyond the basic tests.
I did feel a little uncomfortable but I think offices are pretty used to it.
The thing that I miss leaving is the convenience of the monitoring though; its directly on my way to work!

Second Opinion

A second opinion was the best thing we ever did! I did feel awkward at first, but I got over that quickly. I have had to have contact with my old clinic several times and they always ask how things are going and what not. I think they understand that you need to make the right decision for you and your family and that might not include them...

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Do NOT worry about it being weird going to a different office. You are on this road to have a baby and you must do what is best for you and your family. You really need to put yourself first here and do what YOU want.

I was with the same doctor for nearly 3 years. I felt TERRIBLE about switching. When my RE found out I was going for other opinions, I outright told him how much I valued him as a part of our journey and my decision to move on was not personal. After 3 years, multiple IUIs, IVFs, FETs, losses, surrogacy, I finally switched to a new practice. (I had previously gone for MANYYYY other opinions but did not make the switch). Well, my first cycle with a new doctor and I have my DH and DS in bed next to me at the moment.

Just tell them that you are requesting records for yourself and YOU can decide what you do with them and how many consults you go to. I went to many. Remember, this is not personal, it's business. If your doctor is professional, he will be happy that you find success anywhere, whether that be with him or with someone else. I know my first RE is so thrilled for us that we found success, even though we were with a different office at the time.

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Um, I'm a big fertility sl*t, just flashing my vg all around town. I've seen some of the brightest minds in the fertility world and through talking to them and reviewing past cycles really regret the time I wasted with local schlubs. I feel no loyalty to clinics or doctors. I only feel loyalty to myself, my DH, and our efforts to have children. In the end, if the docs fail you, it will not faze them, and they will move on to the next patient without a second thought. You have to put yourself first.

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I just want to thank all of you for sharing your stories and encouraging me to get my records. I feel so much better about going about this now.

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Def do not feel bad its sad but it is business. I went to 3 different dr's for consults when I was about to start IVF and I just asked my RE for my records and thats it. I was about to jump ship and had my consult appt for the day after my first FET beta. I had to cancel since I got a bfp but I would only give a facility 2 shots (1 fresh and 1 frozen) before moving on.