not IF/TTC related vent

OK, so not for nothing, but each and every one of us on this forum is going through something that most other people aren't dealing with. My friends all know that, and I get that not a single one of them are married or even in relationships and I don't expect them to understand. However, I do expect that when you are well aware of what I'm going through, that you don't add to the pile of insane stress I already have. One of my besties is turning 30 next week and she's throwing herself a little gathering this weekend, and then next weekend her mom is throwing a surprise party. Well, there has been this insane, childish, hissy fit that is worthy of a 3 year old going on with one of the girls that is involved in the group gift we decided to give her on when to give it. The consensus was to give it on the 21st since that's when she'd be expecting it and knowing this friend she'll be pissed if she doesn't get it that day. I also requested that since I cannot make it on the 28th (which was well known when it was planned) that I'd like to be there for the gift giving. Well, the girl throwing the hissy fit decided that that's not acceptable to her, she at the very least wants to have a "friendly compromise" and give half the gift at each event. NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO DO THIS and she is throwing this ridiculous and unbelievably childish fit (and I mean complete with hysterics) because she isn't getting her way.

As of last night DH and I decided we were going to ask my other BFf for our portion of the money back so that we could get our own gift separately. The stress is too much and I can feel it having an effect on me. That upset her and she is worried that it'll hurt the friend who's birthday it is. I think the final decision is to give the gift this weekend but I am just so beside myself that I don't even care about that now I just want out of the whole group effort. DH and I don't want our names signed next to the signature of the girl putting up this hissy fit. This is the email that I was thinking of sending:

"At this point the stress and drama over a birthday gift has forced me to remove myself from the equation. You are all well aware of what I have gone through over the last few months and what I continue to be dealing with. My doctors have explicit told me that I need to be reducing my stress levels not increasing them. Brian and I will be getting our own separate gift for Lindsey that we will give her on the 21st. I am sorry this isn't working out."

Thanks for letting me vent, the stress was just getting out of hand all over a freakin' birthday gift.

not IF/TTC related vent

I'd like to add that it's not so much the date that we give it that bothers me so much, it's the hysterics created by this adult woman that are reminiscent of a 4 year old spoiled brat of a child.

Re: not IF/TTC related vent

You are right. You don't need the added stress. There is always one person who needs to get their way. And ya know what? Let her. Do your own thing and screw the nonsense. I wouldn't even send the email because I think that night invite a back and forth with all of you and you will not like what at least 1 person has to say. There's always that asshole who says something very inappropriate and insensitive when it comes to IF. Believe me, I avoid a lot of people for that reason alone.

not IF/TTC related vent

Thanks! Yeah, I mean, she called our mutual friend in hysterics screaming and yelling that she couldn't believe no one would compromise with her... all this in a voicemail.

I'd like to add that me and this girl used to be extremely close, but the moment I started dating DH and things got serious she pulled herself away from me for some reason. Best guess I can figure is that she was unhappy in her engagement and later marriage and couldn't stand seeing me happy in mine.. which I understand.

Re: not IF/TTC related vent

I agree with Phyllis. I would just give your own gift and not even bother getting into more drama with her.

not IF/TTC related vent

Yeah, it sucks because one friend who is unfortunately stuck in the middle of all of this is one of my best friends, was in my wedding (along with the girl who's birthday it is - they were the only 2 non-family members in my bridesmaids), is getting upset that I might pull my money out of the group gift. I guess she's taking that part personally and for some reason things that it's going to hurt the girl who's birthday it is. I don't really see how that could happen, since I'll probably spend more outside of the group anyway. I just don't know what to do at this point.

Re: not IF/TTC related vent

I would honestly just step aside from it and let it play out on it's own. You gave your $, the gift will be given, let the other girls work it out.

Sending that email is going to cause more drama and if it's drama you're trying to steer clear of then, IMO, don't send it.

not IF/TTC related vent

Yeah, I'm just leaving it alone at this point. I'm not the only one that feels this way in this group, but my goodness my blood is boiling. I just want to make sure DH is OK with that too, since as of this morning he was livid himself and wanted to do something separately (and he's one of the most level headed people I know - I'm the gasket blower in the household... in case you weren't able to tell).