Loss of a twin

So we finally graduated from the RE and saw our OB today. The last Sono I had done was at 7 weeks and we had twins with heartbeats for both. On today's Sono, Baby A had stopped developing and had no heartbeat. Thankfully it appears that Baby B had a strong heartbeat and was growing as it should. We are obviously sad about this but I'm trying to remind myself that there are reasons (as insane as they may be) that these things happen.

My concern is how this will affect my other baby. My dr said it doesn't pose a risk and that the other baby will eventually dissolve. If anyone else has gone through this please share your thoughts.

Re: Loss of a twin

I'm sorry for your loss

Re: Loss of a twin

I am sorry for your loss. A cousin of mine had this happen to her and now her dc (surviving twin) is a happy healthy little girl. There were no complicatoins for the remaining twin.

Re: Loss of a twin

So sorry for your loss! I have heard of this happening to someone I knew of and I guess the other baby just dissolves so to speak as the dr said. Hugs!!

Loss of a twin

Thanks girls! Of course I overthink everything and now am thinking if it's anything I did to cause this to happen. I'm sure not, but it's hard not to think that way.

Re: Loss of a twin

I am so sorry for your loss

Re: Loss of a twin

Posted by TessMike214

I am so sorry for your loss

Re: Loss of a twin

so sorry for your loss

Re: Loss of a twin

I'm so sorry for your loss

Re: Loss of a twin

im so sorry for your loss... thats when we lost haileys twin amd it had no affect on her at all...

Re: Loss of a twin

We had this happen with my current pregnancy. It was so sad and after years of infertility and loss, I felt so greedy being sad about losing the twin. I felt like after everything, I should just be grateful to have the one that was still doing well. It's hard and people who have not gone through it probably won't understand... I remember leaving that appointment, getting into the elevator, and saying to my dh, "Well, I'm still pregnant, right?" .. It was so weird being happy about one but grieving another - especially since in my case, grief was all we came to know. I was SO nervous about losing the one we still had.

My doctors reassured me that if there were some issue that would cause me to lose both, I would have lost both at the same time. It definitely put me on edge for many weeks after that, but our little guy continued to thrive. By 20wks, twin A's sac was no longer visible on the sono because it had absorbed, not to mention my was taking up so much space! My doctors reassured me that this baby would be so much healthier growing in there on his own and even though it was hard to hear it at the time because I was sad about our loss, it's TRUE. Your baby does not have to share blood supply with anyone. I'm currently 39+ weeks and my is so healthy and BIG.

I'm so sorry for your loss, but very happy for your little one in there who is doing well!

Re: Loss of a twin

I'm so sorry

Loss of a twin

i had a somewhat similar situation. we had high-ish betas and saw 2 sacs at 6w - but one always had a heartbeat and one never did. the next week we confirmed that one was a baby and one was blighted ovum. i dont think that i grieved much because i was told at the first appointment that the other sac likely wouldnt progress.
im sharing this because in my case the sac never did dissolve. im not sure if thats weird or not but the tech saw it on my 20w sono and commented on it and then labelled it "empty sac" (which i thought was weird but whatever). i did end up having a very complicated 3rd trimester and delivered at 33w. i dont think the sac still being there had anything to do with the complications but i still do think its weird that it didnt dissolve because i expected it to.

Re: Loss of a twin

I'm so sorry for your loss

Re: Loss of a twin

I'm so sorry for your loss

Re: Loss of a twin

Posted by PennyCat

We had this happen with my current pregnancy. It was so sad and after years of infertility and loss, I felt so greedy being sad about losing the twin. I felt like after everything, I should just be grateful to have the one that was still doing well. It's hard and people who have not gone through it probably won't understand... I remember leaving that appointment, getting into the elevator, and saying to my dh, "Well, I'm still pregnant, right?" .. It was so weird being happy about one but grieving another - especially since in my case, grief was all we came to know. I was SO nervous about losing the one we still had.

My doctors reassured me that if there were some issue that would cause me to lose both, I would have lost both at the same time. It definitely put me on edge for many weeks after that, but our little guy continued to thrive. By 20wks, twin A's sac was no longer visible on the sono because it had absorbed, not to mention my was taking up so much space! My doctors reassured me that this baby would be so much healthier growing in there on his own and even though it was hard to hear it at the time because I was sad about our loss, it's TRUE. Your baby does not have to share blood supply with anyone. I'm currently 39+ weeks and my is so healthy and BIG.

I'm so sorry for your loss, but very happy for your little one in there who is doing well!

Re: Loss of a twin

Posted by TimeforTwo2013

Posted by PennyCat

We had this happen with my current pregnancy. It was so sad and after years of infertility and loss, I felt so greedy being sad about losing the twin. I felt like after everything, I should just be grateful to have the one that was still doing well. It's hard and people who have not gone through it probably won't understand... I remember leaving that appointment, getting into the elevator, and saying to my dh, "Well, I'm still pregnant, right?" .. It was so weird being happy about one but grieving another - especially since in my case, grief was all we came to know. I was SO nervous about losing the one we still had.

My doctors reassured me that if there were some issue that would cause me to lose both, I would have lost both at the same time. It definitely put me on edge for many weeks after that, but our little guy continued to thrive. By 20wks, twin A's sac was no longer visible on the sono because it had absorbed, not to mention my was taking up so much space! My doctors reassured me that this baby would be so much healthier growing in there on his own and even though it was hard to hear it at the time because I was sad about our loss, it's TRUE. Your baby does not have to share blood supply with anyone. I'm currently 39+ weeks and my is so healthy and BIG.

I'm so sorry for your loss, but very happy for your little one in there who is doing well!

Thank you for posting this. I cannot explain how much better you made me feel. I am literally sick over the other baby with worry that the same thing will happen. I also echo your sentiments that I feel guilty grieving when I have a healthy baby still growing but also feel conflicted to be happy when I have just lost a baby. I've never experienced anything so emotionally draining and I've been through some crazy things including my mother beating stage 3 cancer this year. Thank you again! This is why I always turn to this forum. As much as my friends and family tried to offer comfort today they cannot relate the way you can.

Re: Loss of a twin

I too just lost a twin. Found out at almost 9 weeks. Baby B had no heartbeat. I was devastated. I took some time to grieve and realized that I was still pregnant. We too had to get help from a RE to get pregnant and I had to remind myself that I have a little one who is doing well. I will be 15 weeks tomorrow and baby A is doing great. We are so excited. For the most part the lost twin will disappear and not affect your other baby at all. I had no bleeding and generally continued on being pregnant. It's hard, take some time to grieve then celebrate you little one who is on their way.

Re: Loss of a twin

I'm sorry for your loss

Loss of a twin

:o( I'm so sorry!

Re: Loss of a twin

Re: Loss of a twin

Re: Loss of a twin

Loss of a twin

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to lose a baby and just because the other twin is still healthy doesn't make this loss any less tragic. I think it is important to allow ourselves to feel grief. While yes, you should be focusing on your other baby as well, it does not mean you shouldn't feel the sadness of the loss of your child. My thoughts are with you and your family. hugs!!