Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

I'm not really sure what I need: advice, support, a place to vent...all of the above? I just figured this was the best place to go.

I had my DS last November. It took 9 cycles with the RE (3 TI and 6 IUIs) before I got pregnant. If I hadn't gotten pregnant with the 6th IUI, I was all set up to move onto IVF. I even had a consultation in place for IVF and then found out I was pregnant the week before. As I'm sure everyone here knows, it was so emotionally draining and difficult. This board was a great support system. He's now 8 months and healthy. I feel so blessed to have him in my life.

I really want at least one more. I love my son, but I really want to be able to give him a sibling. Sometimes I feel selfish for thinking this. So many families are dealing with IF, and here I am wanting another one.

I have a couple of issues that I'm working through in my head. First of all, I would probably have to bring DS to all my monitoring appointments. My RE's office is child-friendly, but I wish I didn't have to bring him. I have seen children in the office and I remember when I was trying that sometimes I would feel so hurt seeing those babies. I'm worried that being bringing him to be insensitive to the other couples in the office. I know he is welcome there and he wouldn't be the only child. But at the same time, if him being there makes someone sad, that in turn, would make me sad.

I also feel bad for my DS. I'd have to wake him up early for my monitoring. I'd need to go to the earliest appointments because I work full time and cannot be late. I'd hate to have to wake him up that early, but even more I'd feel bad he'd be spending his time with me in a doctor's office. I just feel like it isn't fair to him.

I feel like this whole thing isn't fair (is IF ever fair to anyone?). I don't ovulate on my own. I get my period anywhere from 30-90 days. I don't even know if I can get pregnant on my own (although not ovulating makes me think I probably can't). It makes me angry that I have no other choice but to see a doctor to get pregnant. That I have to make choices that will affect my DS (as to bringing him with me). I feel selfish that I have a healthy baby and I want another one, when so many other women are struggling. I hate the emotional aspect of TTC while struggling with IF.

So the bottom line is- I may or may not be joining you strong ladies again here. I have a consultation on August 26th. I want more than anything to another. But I just wish it were easy.

If you read everything...thank you. Lots of hugs, love, and support to everyone on this board. If anyone is trying for DC #2 or more, I would love to hear from you. As to how the process is with another child, both logistically and emotionally.

Re: Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

It's so kind of you to be thinking about the other women in this way ... I remember being one of those women in the waiting room and I'll be honest- I DID feel bad - but really just if the person made a big deal out of their kid. Like - this one time these 2 women came in with a toddler and were talking to him SO loud and encouraging him to go over to other patients to say hello. I thought that was inappropriate, personally! When someone sat there quietly (as quiet as you can be with a baby!) I never minded.

Annnyway .. putting all that aside, you need to do what's good for YOU and your dh long term. In the grand scheme of things, those monitoring appts are temporary. Even if (and I HOPE this doesn't happen) it took a year to conceive another, compared to the bigger picture it's such a small portion of your life.

I wouldn't let the short term inconveniences sway you one way or another. The bigger picture is, you want another baby. These relatively minor things like waiting rooms .. monitoring appts.. they come and go - but you KNOW firsthand the miracle that comes from the process.

I say go for it and don't look back!

eta: your son in your avatar pic is adorable!!

Message edited 8/3/2013 8:04:49 AM.

Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

This is me right now and dd is 2. My cycles seemed
to have regulated after I had her so I had hope but I'm
back to the re also. Logistically, it is trickier and to be honest, I'm
thinking once school starts, I may have to wait a year? I'm not sure..what we do is since I'm off for the summer, we monitor and my dh waits for me to come back to leave for work..for iuis, he drops and i either get someone to stay or pray its a weekend or one of the mornings she goes to daycare and drop her there early..fm if you want..

Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

I am TTC number 2. I just had my 3rd loss and still determined to have another. Unfortunately there are sacrifices to be made when you need ART. There have been days where I was sitting in my car before 6am in front of RE waiting for them to open cursing the whole process. I am fortunate that Dh takes DS to daycare so I don't have to deal with that, but I'm always running late to work bc I work in westchester.

If you and DH want another.... Do what you have to do to get there. You are not selfish for wanting to add to your family.

Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

Ps I get mixed messages about bringing dd but I just feel funny doing it and some women bring their kids and I honestly get a twinge myself..and I have one already!!! Hhaha

Re: Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

Posted by PennyCat



It's so kind of you to be thinking about the other women in this way ... I remember being one of those women in the waiting room and I'll be honest- I DID feel bad - but really just if the person made a big deal out of their kid. Like - this one time these 2 women came in with a toddler and were talking to him SO loud and encouraging him to go over to other patients to say hello. I thought that was inappropriate, personally! When someone sat there quietly (as quiet as you can be with a baby!) I never minded.

Annnyway .. putting all that aside, you need to do what's good for YOU and your dh long term. In the grand scheme of things, those monitoring appts are temporary. Even if (and I HOPE this doesn't happen) it took a year to conceive another, compared to the bigger picture it's such a small portion of your life.

I wouldn't let the short term inconveniences sway you one way or another. The bigger picture is, you want another baby. These relatively minor things like waiting rooms .. monitoring appts.. they come and go - but you KNOW firsthand the miracle that comes from the process.

I say go for it and don't look back!

eta: your son in your avatar pic is adorable!!

Re: Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

Re: Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

Re: Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

I think you are very thoughtful with that being said you have to do what is right for you! I had to bring my dd who is 8 with me on one occasion and I worried. It happened to be no one else was there while I was.

I think that whether your first or third your goal is the same as theirs and chances are they will seek help for there next as well!

Keep in mind your beautiful baby boy doesn't know if he's spending time with you at home or somewhere else, he's just happy to be with you!!

Xo

Re: Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

I felt similar when we went back to the re to ttc my second dd. My oldest had just turned a year when I went back and sometimes I had no choice but to take her along with me. I tried to keep her occupied and kept her in the stroller. I remembered sitting there and having no children and when other patients came in with children sometimes I did feel sad. Luckily with my 2nd I only had to go through one cycle to get a bfp. My first took almost a year. Ultimately we wanted dd to have a sibling, We felt blessed to have our oldest dd but I knew I had more love to give. You really have to do what is best for you. In the end yea it is an inconvince having to get up early and take your son with you but the gift of another baby is so worth it. Best of luck!

Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

I have been TTC #2 for almost three (ugh) years and have had the same feelings. Giving DD a sibling is so important to me, and that's what motivates me when I feel guilty for dragging her out early on gorgeous,summer days when she could be playing outside.

Re: Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

It's so nice of you to think of others like that, but your family comes first.

Bring DS if you need to. I see children in my REs office from time to time, and they make me happy. It means my RE was successful and those families got take home babies. It gives me hope.

IF is unfair, but in the end you have to do what you need to do to make it easier for you and your family.

Re: Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

We are trying for #2 also and i share so many of your feelings about it still not being fair, having to make choices and sacrifices for the child I already DO have and am so thankful for every day. Today, I yelled at her b/c I am just on the brink from the meds. She wasn't doing anything wrong except being 2. Why should she suffer the consequences of the meds when in reality I want so much for her to have a sibling and that is really why we are doing this.
I can't help you about your feelings with bringing your son to the office as I make alternate plan. But I do have to sacrifice my mornings with her on monitoring days and I have not done medicated cycles simply because I couldn't justify leaving her when she has no clue what is going on and it isn't really a need, like having to go away for work might be. So logistically, I find it harder this time around.
As for the emotions, I am good at lying to myself and pretending I don't care as much this time or that I have all I ever wanted and just need to be grateful. But the reality is, although I am eternally grateful, I still feel deprived, broken and somehow punished for having to go through all this again. Sure the stakes aren't as high but I guess when you want something you aren't getting it sucks just the same.

Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

First good luck. I conceived my dd through the help of a re, clomid and iui. My dd is almost 2 and I have been back with my re since June. I try very hard not to bring my dd to any appointments because she doesn't sit still and I feel guilty bringing her. I was speaking to one of the nurses during the appoitnment telling her how bad I felt bri nging her and she said you give people in the waiting room hope. I honestly never though of it like this.
A few things your son is young her will not remember taking him to the re. I would try with the re and sees what happens.
Best of luck hope your journey is shorter this time
If you have any additional questions please feel free to fm me

Re: Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

Re: Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess this is the place to go.

omg i could have written this word for word! I also went to a RE for my first... I am going through the same thing now. I have a consult set up with my old RE soon, and another smaller practice RE as well. I really don't want to bring DS to monitoring because I feel like I am being insensitive to other patients. I can only drop off my DS at a specific time, not any earlier, so the earliest my appt could be is 7:45. However I learned on here that if I don't go early, I may not get to work on time (especially w/ my old RE, larger practice). I also have no choice but to go back to a RE for #2 because my cycles are very short, and have a short LP. I don't even know if I really ovulate either. I know how you feel though.