Going to the Cemetery during pregnancy?

I am Jewish and my grandmother's unveiling at the cemetery is in 3 weeks. I will be 37.5 weeks pregnant. I am have such mixed feelings about going. I know there is no right or wrong. Part of me feels guilty for not going and part of me is so worried that I will be too upset and stressed out that I may go into labor! I just keep thinking to myself, "What would Gram say if she was here and it was a close family member that we were having an unveling for?" Any advice?

Re: Going to the Cemetery during pregnancy?

Ultimately that's a really personal decision and really comes down to what YOU are comfortable with. Everyone has their own beliefs and superstitions

Re: Going to the Cemetery during pregnancy?

I too am Jewish and I personally would go to my grandmothers unveiling. My mom might say different but in the end i wouldn't be able to live with myself. You have to be comfortable with your decision whatever that may be. It is your choice. Don't let an old wives tale stop you if it is something you really want to do. JMO. Sorry for your loss

Going to the Cemetery during pregnancy?

When I was about 5 mo pregnant with DS, my grandfather passed away. I spoke to the rabbi and he said it's an individual decision on whether you can handle the emotions. I chose to go as I wanted to show my love and respect for my grandfather.

When I told my grandpa I was pregnant, he said I should name the baby after him. I told him no, because he was still alive and we only name after the dead. He said "don't worry, i'll be dead before the baby comes". My son's bris was on my grandpa's birthday and he was named after him.

I think you would be fine at an unveiling. It's sad and brings back all the memories of the person's passing, but is usually less overwhelming than the funeral itself since you've had almost a year to process it all. But of course being pregnant makes you a big hormonal mess for even minor things!

Going to the Cemetery during pregnancy?

I'm Jewish too. Your health ultimately comes first, but personally, I would go. I would feel so terrible not being at my grandparents unveiling. You will also be full term at that point, so if you did go into labor - lo would be perfectly fine.

Going to the Cemetery during pregnancy?

I'm Jewish too and know that my mom is SUPER superstitious with things like this. You have to do what you want to do and what you would feel comfortable with. My dad always tells me "at the end of the day if you can look yourself in the mirror, then you've done everything you can do right for yourself and others around you".

I can say I was 35 weeks pregnant and went to a cemetery for my great aunts funeral and now have a 4 weeks old healthy baby boy. I took at is a way for our baby and my great aunt to say their hello and ask for a little angel to watch over him. I found it very spiritual.

Re: Going to the Cemetery during pregnancy?

There is no Jewish law that says a pregnant woman cannot enter a cemetery. It is a custom, but not one that all rabbis believe should be followed.

I was newly pregnant when we had my grandfather's unveiling. I went to the cemetery and didn't think twice. It was something I needed to be at for my own mental health. I personally used that time to tell my grandparents that I was pregnant and one of them would have a namesake.

Do whatever you are comfortable with. I don't believe you can make a wrong religious choice. It's your personal choice you have to live with, so do what feels right for you.

Re: Going to the Cemetery during pregnancy?

is it bc of superstition? or bc you're afraid of the emotional stress?

I'm not familiar with an "unveiling", but I would most certainly be at anything involving my grandmother...wake, funeral, etc. I just couldn't imagine not being there.

Re: Going to the Cemetery during pregnancy?

Re: Going to the Cemetery during pregnancy?

My orthodox cousin was pregnant at my grandmother's unveiling and she "got around it" by having the car pulled up by the side and staing in the car bur rolling the window down.

Re: Going to the Cemetery during pregnancy?

I am also fairly Jewperstitous. My DH's family is going this weekend to the cemetery to visit his grandfather's grave and I am not going. My mother, grandmother, MIL, and me personally are not comfortable with it. We also won't have any baby items in the house prior to birth, no shower, etc.

That said, if it was something for one of my grandparents (beyond just visiting), like God forbid a funeral or an unveiling, I would try to figure out something like a PP mentioned in terms of getting around it. I totally get how difficult of a decision this is. Do what you feel is the right choice - there is definitely no right or wrong answer.

Re: Going to the Cemetery during pregnancy?