how do you handle toddler hitting or spitting

Today my 2 year old spat at me in anger. I have no idea where he picked this up from. We don't do this in our home, nobody we know does this. I don't know where he learned to deal with anger by spitting. He also hits when we take a toy away or tell him it's bedtime or to do or don't do something he doesn't agree with at that moment. I've tried everything. He's a good boy most of the time but he has these outburst...I mean...he's 2. what worked for you?

Re: how do you handle toddler hitting or spitting

I am going through the same thing with hitting. We try not to make a huge deal out of it (don't give it too much attention). I get down on his level, and make eye contact and firmly say, hands are not for hitting. Hitting hurts" Then I show him nice touching. Honestly, I'm not sure how well it's working, and in severe cases he gets put in time out. It's so frustrating, and he does it mostly to his brother. I'm hoping it's a phase that he will grow out of as he can verbally express his frustration a little better.

Re: how do you handle toddler hitting or spitting

I only wish my reaction today was as calm and collected. I shouted at him "you don't spit! You don't spit at mommy" and told him to march upstairs to his bedroom. I put him in his room and said "now you lay down in your room with no toys!" and closed the door. He was crying like someone was murdering him.

Not my best reaction, but I have been trying to do the whole "get to his level and calmly say "hitting hurts, we don't hit when we're angry. No hitting" type deal and he's still doing it so I lost my cool. Sometimes after i say it calmly he'll swat at me again and my tone raises and i allow my anger / frustration to show. I especially hate when this happens at bedtime...it's such a horrible way to end the day scolding your child.

eta: I forgot to mention...when i say things like "do you want to go in time out again?" or "do you wanna go to bed early?" etc he says "yup" so this tactic doesn't work well for me.

Message edited 7/20/2013 2:57:17 PM.