Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I don't think it's unreasonable. I know that I'll have only immediate family members the day of (SIL, mom, MIL, probably my sister and obv. DH. Although it won't surprise me if my 8 yr old cousin wanders in since she lives down the block lol).

They can wait another 24 hours for you to get a good sleep before they see you and the baby.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I plan on having my DC, DH, my parents, and possibly my brother and sister IL. I plan on delivering at LIJ via csection so I will tell all of my friends to stay home.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

Posted by neener1211

My personal opinion is that if you don't want any visitors you don't have to have any. BUT, if I was told to go away after a friend/sister/aunt had a baby, I'd be a little miffed. I could understand if they had complications, but if you're feeling well, I'd be .

I personally had a total of 10 people rotate in and out of my room after both of my children and it was never overwhelming. I was excited to show off the baby. My family came to the delivery and waited in the waiting room. They were allowed in for about an hour after the baby was born to meet him/her. Then they left and came back during grandparent visiting hours. Then later on during regular visiting hours.

I guess it depends on what you really want, but just be prepared for people to be upset because they want to share in your happiness too. If I were you, I would not send an email out like that now, but would wait until after you have the baby to see how you feel. You may want some company because it is no fun sitting in a hospital room by yourself all day. People are generally pretty observant and will listen to your DH if after you have the baby and you want to rest. If all else fails, nurses will be the bad guys and tell people to leave if you want that.

Just my 2 cents.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I was not able to have many visitors bc I was in the hospital for only one full day
(got to my room at 11PM, left two days later at 11AM)

it was OK, BUT just a warning I had THIRTY people in my house the day I got home LOL I loved it, and I had help but they are going to want to come and you will have to feed and entertain them LOL and you may have only ONE day in the hospital

Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I was in a really unique situation.....no one could really visit because dd was born during hurricane sandy and not many people could get to hospital. It was lonely - not being able to text photos or share good news, husband didn't stay with me because had to take care of pets and the power was out!

I say don't let the world know when you go to hospital, just tell them once you are okay to have visitors

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

It is YOUR BIRTH experience, and YOUR FAMILY, screw everyone else and who cares if it is "rude". It is the first of many times you will now have to make a call and risk upsetting some people in order to do what is best for YOUR new family. Everyone will live and I think it is great that you gave everyone a heads up.

It is not rude at all. You just gave birth for christ's sake not had your tooth pulled. You need to rest and feel like yourself again, you deserve quiet time to bond with your new family instead of being the hostess with the mostess. You can do that once you are home.

Tell everyone you will see them soon and if they get annoyed, they will get over it. This is your time, not theirs.

Dont feel badly about it.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I will be ticked if my family isn't there!
I have been to the hospital within an hour or two of every one of my brother's children as well as my SIL's (DH's sister)... and LOVED feeling like I got to bond w/ the baby right away- even if it was one sided.
Honestly, I can't imagine my family not being there but we are all extremely close (literally as well- we live 8/10 of a mile from one another). DH's parents would probably rush up- not so sure about his brother or sister but my parents, brother and SIL will be there as soon as they can I would think.
I will be a scheduled csection (if all goes as planned) so we should have an idea when I will deliver. I would think that my brother will have his MIL watch their kids the first day- although who knows... I have to check the policy on children coming who aren't mine at the hospital... all 4 of our niece/nephews will want to be there (well 3 of them anyway as the littlest one is just turning 2 and won't really understand lol).
It took us a long time to get here-- and these people will be a huge part of their lives. Some of the best pics were taken shortly after our families kids' birth- and I can't wait for them to give us their pics this time. But you should do whatever makes you the most comfortable...

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

With my son I delivered at night (via csection) and when I was in recovery they let whoever was in the waiting room for me to visit us. It was my parents, in laws, sister in law, best friend and 2 aunts. I didn't mind seeing them then at all. The following day I had a ton of visitors and still didn't mind because I enjoyed the company. I'm sure this time around I won't get as many visitors. Everyone is different so do what you want

Hospital visitors the day you give birth

Thanks everyone! Like I said, our families will be there first thing, right away...we are just asking that aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, neighbors, coworkers, all wait until the next day. It seems as though that isn't unreasonable by the responses. Seems as though everyone is agreeing with the family part being there, although it seems as though some of the responses think that I don't want anyone there which isn't the case, I just don't want the world there after I push the kid out.

I'm not a shy person and have NO PROBLEM telling people when they come over to our apartment to help themselves. Trust me, we live in Queens and everyone from Long Island HATES coming to us and probably won't once we come home. I had neuro surgery on an experimental surgery and people didn't come visit because they hate Queens. Like I said we just want our immediate families there the first day so we can all enjoy it. I'm talking about 10 people the first day...I won't be alone and if I know our families they will probably be there all day. PLUS, I would feel more comfortable saying to them "ok get out" then if friends or other family came.

Thanks again for your responses. Seems like I did an ok thing.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I agree with a lot of the ladies that posted. I think you should wait to see how you feel the day you give birth. You have every right to request no visitors but I would wait. As you, your DH or your family makes the call to others about the wonderful news that your son is born, maybe they could then say "it was a long night and we would request that no visitors come until tomorrow so that you can rest and spend time with the baby". I will say my personal experience, I was in intense labor for 27 hours, gave birth to my DD at 5am who was immediately rushed to the NICU and I didn't get to hold her at all the first day, but we had visitors ALL day from about 11am on and I appreciated everyone's love and support for my DD, my DH & I during that very emotional and difficult time. As emotional as it was, it was still such a wonderful moment in our lives and we were so happy to see everyone faces and excitement.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

My family knows my wishes. It is my wishes to only have immediate family and close friends visit at the hospital. I don't think anyone, other than my immediate family, would ever think of coming the first day. DS #1 was born out of state and I really enjoyed the quiet time. I really hope everyone respects my wishes this time. I will also put up boundaries on visits to my home when the babies first come home. I am going to be overwhelmed trying to juggle newborn twins and a 3 year old. I will be happy to have people visit, but will expect a phone call before they come and I will not be entertaining people with food. They can stay for a little bit, meet the babies and leave. Sorry, my babies my rules.

Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I felt this way and held even my immediate family off for a few hours. they were pretty pissed

Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I don't think that's unreasonable. At least you are inviting them to the hospital at all. My SIL (DH sister) didn't tell anyone that she had given birth until after the fact. I know DH was looking forward to going to visit at the hospital, as was my MIL, and they were disappointed that they didn't get to do that.

Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I had my friend come, my mother, my sister, my brother, my sister in law, and my aunt. I LOVED having visitors.

Hospital visitors the day you give birth

My in laws were waiting for me to give birth so they saw DS right away. They didn't come to see me though. My mom and brother and brother in law and sister in law came after work (I gave birth in the late afternoon) and they saw me in recovery before I moved to my room (had a C-section).

Honestly it felt nice to me because I was really lonely afterwards. I didn't get moved to a room until around 11 p.m. or 12 a.m. DH went home to take care of the cats and didn't spend the night in the hospital with me. DS was brought in for feedings but spent the night in the nursery so I could rest.

ETA: I had a steady stream of visitors every day after that which was great. There weren't 100 people in the room at any given time and I also felt really great after the surgery. I was in the hospital for like 4 days so seeing people was very much appreciated.

Message edited 5/16/2013 8:54:00 AM.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I think you have every right to say no visitors except people of your choice on the first day.

My girlfriend had a baby yesterday by scheduled c-section. She told me last week NO VISITORS ON WEDNESDAY. She wanted to rest. I have 2 children so I get it and I respected her wishes. I'll see her tomorrow.

When I had my DD, I think I had been awake for 25 hours by the time I was wheeled to my room. Maybe more. My MIL showed up just as I was falling asleep. It was torture because I was delirious, but it was my first child so I didn't say anything but I was MISERABLE. And then I came down with a stomach virus and everyone who visited the first day caught it.. my friends with small children asked first and then did not visit at my request. I missed them but it was necessary.

When I had my DS it was a totally different experience so I was totally ready for visitors ASAP.

I wouldn't send an email, but I would have DH or your mom or someone let people know after the baby comes whether or not you're up for visitors.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I hate visitors after I give birth for like the first month lol. I'm sorry but it's true. Aside from my mom, I just see everyone else as germ carriers and people I have to entertain while I'm exhuasted. I don't know if I would have sent out an email (written text can come across much differently than we intend), I probably would have just had my parents/IL's spread it through word of mouth. I think it's perfectly fine to not want any visitors in the first 24 hours.

Luckily for me, my extended family (who would have been beating down the door) are all far away OOT and DH's family doesn't really come to the hospital. We had a handful of visitors which made me a little anxious but I was just thankful that it wasn't more.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I just had my second ds and had a scheduled c/s but ds was in the nicu.

We have about 12 people in the waiting room and then in my room. They couldnt even see ds. I was happy tonsee people and share in our excitement. I hate the hospital so having the company was welcomed. This was just immediate family (parents siblings and dha aunt and cousins who we are very close with) so i could care less that i was in a gown.

I wouldnt encourage every aunt/uncle cousin or friends to come.

I think it would be a little sad if i just had my son and no one was there but dh to share in our happiness. Plus i never would be able to keep my mom away.

Message edited 5/16/2013 5:06:39 PM.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I guess I am in the minority here but after having a medication free labor of 30 hours followed by a baby who slept less then 3 hours the entire 48 hours I was at the hospital I was NOT up for visitors. We had immediate family come but I just found it exhausting. You won't really know how you feel until it happens so people will just have to be patient and understanding!