am I worrying too much? (vacation)

The wife and I have been TTC for awhile now.

She wants to go on vacation to Europe at the end of June, I do not.

Here is my reasoning:
IF things are successful this month then
1. The first 3 months are the most dangerous, so I don't want us to be in another country in case anything happens

2. For European vacations, there is a lot of walking.
Same reasoning as #1, the first 3 months are the most dangerous, I don't want her walking around all day, in the heat, etc.
(I don't mean no walking at all, but these vacations usually involve walking all day, its not like here, where we can jump in our car to go from place to place)

3. Not a lot of people consider this, but you do receive radiation while flying. Usually when people think about flying while pregnant, they don't think about the radiation. Flying from NY to Europe, you get about the same amount of radiation as an X-Ray. Roundtrip would equal 2 XRays. Is that a lot? probably not over a lifetime, but while a baby is developing?

I do tend to worry, but since we've been trying for awhile, I want to minimize any potential risks, even if it means skipping a vacation.

Am I worrying too much?

Thank you

Re: am I worrying too much? (vacation)

It's great to see you as concerned as you are but I think that's the best time to go. I made the mistake of booking a cruise during my last trimester and now I can't go and had to cancel since the cruise line will not allow pregnant women onboard over 20 weeks

am I worrying too much? (vacation)

I think it's really cute how worried you are.

Here is what I can tell you though. DH and I started TTC in August and booked a trip to Rivera Maya, Mexico for October. We said "if I become pregnant it will be a babymoon, if not it will be a last vacation before becoming pregnant." I got pregnant in August but ended in a chemical pregnancy. We took September off and ended up getting pregnant again in October and this one stuck. I found out I was pregnant the week before we were leaving for our trip. I spoke to my doctor and she said to go and enjoy myself. She said to stay hydrated and move around on the airplane while flying. She also said that when pregnant early on there is little they can do for you to stop if something were to happen.

I can't say I wasn't nervous the whole trip. I even brought pregnancy sticks to test while I was away because it just didn't feel real. We did A LOT of walking and tours while there since we went to see the ruins. DH made sure that I had plenty of water to drink at all times and told all the tour guides that I was 5 weeks pregnant and might have to rest occasionally. I rested when I needed to but it really wasn't that often. My first trimester I was sick but not that tired. I would nap before dinner quickly just to not over do it.

At 23 weeks pregnant we went away again to Costa Rica. That trip I got the same directions. Doctor also said that if I normally wear 15 SPF to wear 30 since your skin is more sensitive. This trip was more of a relaxed one but I just asked for a pat down instead of going through any xray machines (I can't go through the metal detectors due to a neurostimulator).

Sorry for the long response but I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't stop plans to go on great vacations because your wife MIGHT be pregnant. It is now May so if you she were to become pregnant by June she will be totally fine to go away. A plancenta won't be formed yet so she won't be sharing a blood stream with the baby until about 6 weeks I believe. GO and ENJOY yourselves!!! Mexico isn't as clean as Europe and I am currently carrying a almost 32 weeks old healthy baby boy!!!

Hope this helped!

Re: am I worrying too much? (vacation)

I know many people are going to say don't base your life on if...since you say you have been ttc for a while this may or not be the month. So why miss out on one of your last vacations together in a while. In regards to the walking exercise is good for her but if she is too tired to do anything don't book organized tours do DIY tours so you can take breaks when needed. Thats the beauty of europe you dont absolutely need to go on tons of tours. the flying thing I have flown a bunch of times since my bfp and am aware of the radiation but flight attendants get pregnant and still have to work if the risk were that great they wouldn't be able to work during pregnancy. Read up on it to ease your mind but all I've read said not to worry...also have her talk to her ob about when flying is ok. Health care do you have reason to believe she would have an abnormal pregnancy? If so that's a different story but if not most women don't have issues. That being said I was in the hospital while studying abroad and the health care was amazing! It depends where you are looking and how far along she will be but all in all I say don't hold back!

am I worrying too much? (vacation)

The only thing i can think of right now is how sick and TIRED i was in the first 16 weeks. There is no way i could have been on a flight, or touring around Europe. I could barely take a shower and eat broth.
Good luck with whatever you decide :)

Re: am I worrying too much? (vacation)

It's not bad to worry - it's human nature.

DH and I went to Greece for 10 days when I was 13-15 weeks preggo. We planned the trip before we were pregnan. We actually considered not TTC'ing until after the trip, but decided that we didn't want to plan our life around TTC.

It was hot, and there is a TON of walking in Greece (especially in Santorini - our hotel had so many steps!). But, I just made sure to take it slow and stay super hydrated.

In the end, I'm glad we went on the trip. We had an amazing time, and it was definitely our last big trip for a while. We also spent much of the trip celebrating our pregnancy which was fun!

Re: am I worrying too much? (vacation)

Hmm, honestly I don't think it's a big deal to travel, but my DH didn't like the idea of me traveling out of country during pregnancy either.

Could you wait until you come back from your trip to TTC? Maybe take a break for one month. If you're very worried, then that's an option.

All in all, if you are successful you won't be able to to a big trip for a while with the new baby and all

Re: am I worrying too much? (vacation)

Posted by TyReseGreen

It's great to see you as concerned as you are but I think that's the best time to go. I made the mistake of booking a cruise during my last trimester and now I can't go and had to cancel since the cruise line will not allow pregnant women onboard over 20 weeks

Re: am I worrying too much? (vacation)

Re: am I worrying too much? (vacation)

I was sick as a dog for both first trimesters of my pregnancies. Nothing helped and I was totally bed bound when I wasn't at work. With that said, I knew that I didn't want to travel later in pregnancy(it becomes uncomfortable for different reasons) and it was our last chance to travel. So we travelled. For some reason, during our trips I felt a tad better probably because of the excitement of a fun vacation. I felt crappy again as soon as we got home.

I wouldn't worry about the radiation. I always requested a pat down instead of going through the scanners or X-rays so she can always do that if concerned. We encounter radiation constantly in our day to day activities, not just during flights. It's really nothing to be concerned about.

Whatever is meant to be during the first trim is meant to be so as long as she takes it easy i wouldn't worry about a medical emergency. We always took out supplemental medical insurance when leaving the country just in case.

Figure many elderly and disabled people travel wonderfully in Europe so I'm sure there is an enjoyable slower travel pace if you need.

Re: am I worrying too much? (vacation)

Posted by TyReseGreen

It's great to see you as concerned as you are but I think that's the best time to go. I made the mistake of booking a cruise during my last trimester and now I can't go and had to cancel since the cruise line will not allow pregnant women onboard over 20 weeks

am I worrying too much? (vacation)

Thanks for the answers.
and for the reassurance on worrying...Yes, I am a worry wart (just wait until we do get pregnant, I'll be on here with questions every hour!)

My wife gets 2 months maternity leave, and 1 month vacation at her job.
I told her: "SAVE your vacation, and stick it on to the end of maternity, so you will have 3 months leave (this was when we thought she would be pregnant and give birth this year)"

When it turned out that theres no way she would give birth this year, I said... "Ok, use NEXT years vacation for maternity, and use this year's vacation time for doctor's appointments, or to take days off if you are feeling crappy"

she was NOT happy about my idea, lol.

My coworkers said - Your idea makes a lot of SENSE...but she doesn't want to hear that. She probably feels its her last vacation for awhile so she wants to go somewhere.

Vacations never mattered that much to me, so I don't understand it...plus Im dense.

--
ourlivesstartnow2012 - is your picture from Jericho Terrace? Thats where we got married.

b2b777 - interesting point. when she gets a cold, she is pretty floored by it. We were in Greece and she got a cold and was in bed for 2 of the days. I didnt mind, I spent the time watching movies on my laptop, which for ME is my idea of fun!

lucky1007 - wait a month? we're planning on going at the end of June, so it would be 2 months of not TTC. which for us seems like a long time. She is 35, Im 38, so we are definitely feeling a ticking clock.

TuttsyLow - I understand what you mean about us encountering radiation in daily life. But the way I look at it is like cigarette smoke. Its impossible to avoid it (from second hand smoke, or car exhaust, etc) but why not try to lower the exposure as much as you can. don't go to places where people smoke, etc...
I fly for work...and I always go for a patdown, afterall who turns down a feel chance to get felt up :)


But in the interest of keeping my wife happy, we'll go on vacation.
Hopefully things turn out good.

Thanks everyone!

am I worrying too much? (vacation)

Yes, we got married at Jericho Terrace back in Sept 2010.

I am TOTALLY your wife!!! I LOVE to vacation and if I had a month vacation time I would want to go somewhere too and not just doctor appts. Some appts she might do late so you can go with her. Some appts she might be able to do early and not have to take the whole day off. Also, she gets FMLA if she works for a large enough company. She should ask about that as well.

As for the radiation, I see your point but it really isn't that much for her to fly back and forth to Europe. She's not doing it every day. Does she not use the microwave anymore because of the radiation? Does she not use her cell phone because of the radiation?

I think it's REALLY sweet that you care so much but you can't have her stop living her life because she might get pregnant soon. Eventually she might start to resent you from holding her back. You stated you both are older so if you are getting pregnant now, by the time you are able to go on vacation like the one she wants to go on then you might just be too tired from elderly age. Do it while your young. Please don't plan your entire life on "maybe we'll get pregnant this month". It just adds to the stress.

Re: am I worrying too much? (vacation)

Tes! go, have fun, relax and make a baby there

Message edited 5/2/2013 12:39:59 PM.

Re: am I worrying too much? (vacation)

DH and I started TTC in Feb 2012. We had already dbooked our dream vacation to Fiji and decided to cancel it because.i would "definitely be pregnant" by the time we were supposed to go (October 2012.)

Well, in October 2012 I still wasn't pregnant and I never went to Fiji. I promised myself right then that I wouldn't never change my plans for a "what if" scenario again.
I say go to Europe.

Re: am I worrying too much? (vacation)

looks like you have already decided but I would have chimed in on "go for it" You can also do the majority of your booking (plane, train, etc) ahead of time and depending on how you are feeling switch things around when you get pregnant, like if she is really exhausted in first trimester get a place with a pool where you can lounge all morning and walk around in the afternoon or vice-versa. then sounds like you will get a vacay that is more both of your styles anyway :)

also I know this is not so much help but while the first three months are the most dangerous it is also most likely that it is the three months where you are least likely able to do anything medically to help a bad situation but hopefully you will have smooth sailing!