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jennielee15
Let's try this again....
Member since 7/11 2269 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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Vent
So DH and i don't have a shared bank account, I pay all the bills except the mortgage which he takes care of. Now we were talking about my maternity leave and the fact that i won't be getting paid. Then came the topic of daycare. "We can't afford daycare" okay i get that but we also can't afford for me to stay home so what exactly does he want me to do??? Why is this entirely on me? I am doing my best to get my side job hours up so i can afford to be home with the baby until 3 and then work nights, but it's rough trying to get clients referred and then to stay on my caseload, (I'm a therapist) I'm just so frustrated, because he doesn't seem to have any suggestions or anything productive to offer, just "I'm taking care of the house, figure it out...." I just wish I knew what to do, how to make enough money to get us through this....SO ANNOYING!!!
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Posted 4/22/13 1:16 PM  |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Vent
Posted by jennielee15
So DH and i don't have a shared bank account, I pay all the bills except the mortgage which he takes care of. Now we were talking about my maternity leave and the fact that i won't be getting paid. Then came the topic of daycare. "We can't afford daycare" okay i get that but we also can't afford for me to stay home so what exactly does he want me to do??? Why is this entirely on me? I am doing my best to get my side job hours up so i can afford to be home with the baby until 3 and then work nights, but it's rough trying to get clients referred and then to stay on my caseload, (I'm a therapist) I'm just so frustrated, because he doesn't seem to have any suggestions or anything productive to offer, just "I'm taking care of the house, figure it out...." I just wish I knew what to do, how to make enough money to get us through this....SO ANNOYING!!!
I'm sorry but "figure it out" is unacceptable. You didn't just magically create this baby on your own, it was a team effort and it should be a team effort in how to care for baby...he is the father, not just a sperm donor. Sorry if this is harsh but your DH's reaction infuriates me! Again this is JMHO!
Message edited 4/22/2013 1:34:33 PM.
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| Posted 4/22/13 1:33 PM |
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jennielee15
Let's try this again....
Member since 7/11 2269 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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Re: Vent
Posted by brownie
Posted by jennielee15
So DH and i don't have a shared bank account, I pay all the bills except the mortgage which he takes care of. Now we were talking about my maternity leave and the fact that i won't be getting paid. Then came the topic of daycare. "We can't afford daycare" okay i get that but we also can't afford for me to stay home so what exactly does he want me to do??? Why is this entirely on me? I am doing my best to get my side job hours up so i can afford to be home with the baby until 3 and then work nights, but it's rough trying to get clients referred and then to stay on my caseload, (I'm a therapist) I'm just so frustrated, because he doesn't seem to have any suggestions or anything productive to offer, just "I'm taking care of the house, figure it out...." I just wish I knew what to do, how to make enough money to get us through this....SO ANNOYING!!!
I'm sorry but "figure it out" is unacceptable. You didn't just magically create this baby on your own, it was a team effort and it should be a team effort in how to care for baby...he is the father, not just a sperm donor. Sorry if this is harsh but your DH's reaction infuriates me! Again this is JMHO!
I agree, but there is more to the story, obviously!! We were hit hard by sandy and he is taking financial accountability for repairing the house. It is costing us close to 100k to get all the work done...so I do know he doesn't have any extra, but i just wish he communicated better...I don't know what he expects me to do, I can't pull money out of thin air!!
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| Posted 4/22/13 1:38 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Vent
Posted by jennielee15
Posted by brownie
Posted by jennielee15
So DH and i don't have a shared bank account, I pay all the bills except the mortgage which he takes care of. Now we were talking about my maternity leave and the fact that i won't be getting paid. Then came the topic of daycare. "We can't afford daycare" okay i get that but we also can't afford for me to stay home so what exactly does he want me to do??? Why is this entirely on me? I am doing my best to get my side job hours up so i can afford to be home with the baby until 3 and then work nights, but it's rough trying to get clients referred and then to stay on my caseload, (I'm a therapist) I'm just so frustrated, because he doesn't seem to have any suggestions or anything productive to offer, just "I'm taking care of the house, figure it out...." I just wish I knew what to do, how to make enough money to get us through this....SO ANNOYING!!!
I'm sorry but "figure it out" is unacceptable. You didn't just magically create this baby on your own, it was a team effort and it should be a team effort in how to care for baby...he is the father, not just a sperm donor. Sorry if this is harsh but your DH's reaction infuriates me! Again this is JMHO!
I agree, but there is more to the story, obviously!! We were hit hard by sandy and he is taking financial accountability for repairing the house. It is costing us close to 100k to get all the work done...so I do know he doesn't have any extra, but i just wish he communicated better...I don't know what he expects me to do, I can't pull money out of thin air!!
I see what you're saying and I'm not saying he can just magically make money appear BUT how your baby is cared for (at home, babysitter, daycare etc) should be a joint decision, KWIM? Where you both put efforts in...or at the least be more supportive in figuring out how it will be done. Again, just my opinion that it shouldn't be all on you to 'figure out'. 
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| Posted 4/22/13 1:41 PM |
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lucky1007
My Princess is Here!
Member since 11/11 1131 total posts
Name:
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Re: Vent
Posted by brownie
Posted by jennielee15
So DH and i don't have a shared bank account, I pay all the bills except the mortgage which he takes care of. Now we were talking about my maternity leave and the fact that i won't be getting paid. Then came the topic of daycare. "We can't afford daycare" okay i get that but we also can't afford for me to stay home so what exactly does he want me to do??? Why is this entirely on me? I am doing my best to get my side job hours up so i can afford to be home with the baby until 3 and then work nights, but it's rough trying to get clients referred and then to stay on my caseload, (I'm a therapist) I'm just so frustrated, because he doesn't seem to have any suggestions or anything productive to offer, just "I'm taking care of the house, figure it out...." I just wish I knew what to do, how to make enough money to get us through this....SO ANNOYING!!!
I'm sorry but "figure it out" is unacceptable. You didn't just magically create this baby on your own, it was a team effort and it should be a team effort in how to care for baby...he is the father, not just a sperm donor. Sorry if this is harsh but your DH's reaction infuriates me! Again this is JMHO!
THIS!!!! the baby is both of yours so you both need to figure it out.
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| Posted 4/22/13 1:41 PM |
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AllyMally
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/13 881 total posts
Name:
Alyson
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Vent
I hate to sound harsh but did you talk about this before you got pregnant? This isn't something to talk about after the fact IMHO. You guys need to sit down and look at all the bills and repairs and go form there. What do you HAVE to have and what would you like. You need to combine you stuff at least for now to have a plan.
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| Posted 4/22/13 1:41 PM |
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jennielee15
Let's try this again....
Member since 7/11 2269 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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Re: Vent
Posted by AllyMally
I hate to sound harsh but did you talk about this before you got pregnant? This isn't something to talk about after the fact IMHO. You guys need to sit down and look at all the bills and repairs and go form there. What do you HAVE to have and what would you like. You need to combine you stuff at least for now to have a plan.
Of course we talked about it before, but a lot has happened since then and well we aren't as financially stable as we were when we got pregnant...We both know what we want, which is the same, but we also don't have a clue how to get there with all the current bills......I know it will all work out, but the closer i get to my due date the more i start to panic!! I just wish we could communicate better, we both tend to push the hard conversations to the side...which i know is wrong!
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| Posted 4/22/13 1:46 PM |
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Leahbink
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/12 663 total posts
Name:
Meredith
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Re: Vent
We were also hit hard by Sandy. The daycare we used, when we first started four years ago, negotiated a price when we told them we couldn't afford their fee. Then, after Sandy, they let us pay what we could until we could start paying again. If you need to go the daycare route, don't be afraid to negotiate a price. I can give you the name of the center we use in Merrick. My sister uses an in home center in wantagh if you would like that name too
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| Posted 4/22/13 2:15 PM |
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SLPlady1984
She's here!
Member since 6/12 1207 total posts
Name:
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Re: Vent
I hear you...I'm a therapist too and my job is not making it easy for me to work on the side...gl!
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| Posted 4/22/13 2:28 PM |
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jennielee15
Let's try this again....
Member since 7/11 2269 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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Re: Vent
Posted by Leahbink
We were also hit hard by Sandy. The daycare we used, when we first started four years ago, negotiated a price when we told them we couldn't afford their fee. Then, after Sandy, they let us pay what we could until we could start paying again. If you need to go the daycare route, don't be afraid to negotiate a price. I can give you the name of the center we use in Merrick. My sister uses an in home center in wantagh if you would like that name too
Both would be great, i live in Baldwin...
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| Posted 4/22/13 2:37 PM |
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