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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)
Posted by brownie
Posted by alli3131
Posted by MandJZ
Posted by DreamComeTrue
I agree with everyone that you were not wrong.
But another part has me wondering.... You said MIL wanted you to get your hair and makeup done. Did you plan to before she said anything? Because if not then I would hope she paid for it. Sounds like your MIL is controlling and everyone has to do what she wants.
I could have gone either way with hair and makeup. She did pay. She also insisted I wear a long gown when I wasn't planning to.
She is controlling. We all know this (me, DH, his siblings, even FIL, we actually make fun of her for it). She's lovely and generous and I usually adore her but she is controlling. It's been an issue before. I'm pretty good at putting my foot down but DH doesn't like to rock the boat. I tend to just tell her things with no room for discussion but DH hasn't quite learned to do that.
If she is controlling you need to get a handle on it ASAP. It will only get worse when the baby is here.
I agree with this...I feel like any small/minor issues beforehand become amplified after baby. Not sure why but I've definitely noticed it and the quicker we made sure we put our own little family first, the better the turnout and less stress overall.
I also agree with this....
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Posted 3/11/13 12:13 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)
It sounds like she more so wants to control you, then actually cares about you. Not to sound harsh, but if that were my mom, she would have told me to leave. My mom would never tell me to wait while I am sick as a dog. Also, your dh needs to not go to mommy for permission when to leave. You are his wife, pregnant, and ill. He needs to do what is best for you first.
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| Posted 3/11/13 4:37 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)
Posted by Bearcat
Sorry but your MIL was absolutely 100% rude and inconsiderate. I would be livid.
Totally agree. Not for anything but you are not her pre teen daughter throwing a tantrum. You are her PREGNANT daughter IN LAW and iMO she has some ******* nerve TELLING YOU when you can leave.  Obviously you felt sick why should you have to suffer? wow
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| Posted 3/11/13 7:51 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)
Agreed...and why the hell is your DH mad???? His wife should come before "family friend". Hands down.
I would have taken the keys and left him there. And put a sleeping bag on the front lawn.
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| Posted 3/11/13 8:35 PM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
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Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)
Posted by KGools
Nope... you are NOT wrong.
Your husband owes you an apology. YOU and his unborn child should be his first priority and when you are sick, he should support you and take care of you. If he wanted to tell his mom you guys were leaving, he should have said "no, my wife is sick and we are leaving" when she said to stay for a little while longer.
You owe your MIL nothing.
OMG, ITA! I'm so angry for you! You're grown adults, who the hell is she to tell you you can't leave a wedding when you're pregnant and sick?! YOU should not be the one feeling bad about this! I'd be pissed at MIL and more pissed at DH for letting her 'make' you stay longer than you were comfortable.
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| Posted 3/11/13 10:56 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
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I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)
Set your rules from now. If this lady is telling you you cant leave a wedding now, she'll want to be in the delivery room with you in 8 months. Boundries make for a happy home.
Message edited 3/12/2013 9:35:59 AM.
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| Posted 3/12/13 9:34 AM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long) UPDATED.
Posted by FreeButterfly
Who cares if you are pregnant or not...you didn't feel weel, you should be allowed to leave.
Btw, congrats of the bfp...happy and healthy
Exactly, it happens. And I think the first and only major mistake was your DH even going up to her and asking permission for you two to leave like he's five years old. You are adults, you are married, you are going to be having a child - you are big enough to go up to the people you want to say goodbye to, together, and say goodbye, unfortunately she's not feeling well at all and we hate to have to leave but we have no choice. That's it. No asking. Telling.
Anyone who doesn't understand that can suck it.
Message edited 3/12/2013 12:25:07 PM.
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| Posted 3/12/13 12:24 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long) UPDATED.
I left my BFFs wedding after dinner bc I had one of the worst migraines of my life. If SHE understood, so should your MIL and DH.
Secondly, did you guys come in the same car as your MIL?
Message edited 3/12/2013 2:02:04 PM.
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| Posted 3/12/13 2:01 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long) UPDATED.
It's interesting, because MIL is far less directly controlling when it's to me or when I'm around. She says things to DH about how HE does stuff (really how we do) but makes sure to never lay blame on me. And when it comes to conversations with me she NEVER tells me, she always asks me. For example, she has in the past given DH a hard time when we go to Toronto for Jewish holidays to be with my family (that ended when I majorly put my foot down), but she never, ever says anything to me. She asks me what our holiday plans are. If I had gotten up and told her we were leaving because I didn't feel well, it likely wouldn't have even been a discussion. But that's how DH is with his mom and it's a work in progress - we've had some variation of this conversation a dozen times in the last few years.
She's awesome, but she's used to everything going her way.
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| Posted 3/12/13 2:05 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long) UPDATED.
Posted by 2BadSoSad
I left my BFFs wedding after dinner bc I had one of the worst migraines of my life. If SHE understood, so should your MIL and DH.
Secondly, did you guys come in the same car as your MIL?
No. We had our own car. MIL and FIL had their car and SIL and BIL had yet another car.
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| Posted 3/12/13 2:10 PM |
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Hoping4Baby11
Live life to the fullest!,
Member since 1/11 2140 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long) UPDATED.
First congrats on your BFP!!!! I'm sorry that you went through all of this. DH and MIL have no right to be mad at you at all. If you were not feeling well you can leave. I would have! Why did your DH have to keep running to his mom to tell him what was going on?? Shame on him! He should of just told his mom that you weren't feeling well and you are gonna leave early. MIL had no right to keep saying no..or a few more mins. You are totally in the right about this!
Sorry again you had to go through this!! Stress is no good for you!!!!
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| Posted 3/12/13 2:36 PM |
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