new homeowners...is this normal

to feel "Eh" about the home you just bought...we bought a home, but its not my dream house...it didnt have a BR and bath on the 1st fl. (other than that its a simple small but not tiny home)
I dont know if its b/c its a BIG financial stress now, owning a home or if i made the wrong choice...cuz now I'm finding things that we have to spend $$ on, and I wish I would have bargained more at the offer....what can i say i'm born with buyers remorse....HAHAHHA! hopefully i didnt make a bad choice and its normal to feel this way~

new homeowners...is this normal

Probably.

It kind of hit me later.....like now.

But I think it's overwhelming and that can contribute to how you're feeling.

Re: new homeowners...is this normal

I have no idea if this is normal, but we are closing tomorrow and I feel the same exact way. People keep asking me if I'm excited and I say, "sort of... I think that when we do some renovations I might be more excited."


ETA: If I could go back in time, knowing what I know now about how much it will cost us to do the things I want to do to this house, I definitely would have purchased something more move-in ready.

Message edited 2/25/2013 4:50:42 PM.

Re: new homeowners...is this normal

yeah i think overwhelming is the word, PLUS the fact that we havent sold our current coop now....so that definately doesnt help!

Re: new homeowners...is this normal

I think its totally normal but owning a house can be really stressful - especially in the beginning. We bought our house in Levittown 3 years ago. It was dated (wood paneling and all) but I figured we would work on one room at a time. I remember getting the key and coming in the front door for the first time and thinking, "this is it?...what the HELL did I do!!" Lol. The first 2 years this place was the money pit and, honestly, it really tested our relationship. Every time I started a project something else crept up or went wrong. DH never finished projects and we fought (I am type A all the way). I had a heck of a time finding good contractors when I needed them.

It's hard to find the perfect house but if you get most of what you're looking for you may be able to get the rest in time or upgrade as you build equity. This isn't my dream house either but we have renovated almost every room and it is gorgeous. I felt the same way in the beginning and worried that I wouldn't be able to afford anything! In the end I am glad that we do have our house - the financial stress I felt after closing lasted about 3 months until I saw that it was all working out. ...And you will always find things to spend money on! Just when I think there's nothing else I want to do something else pops up

Re: new homeowners...is this normal

Posted by Hemicat

I think its totally normal but owning a house can be really stressful - especially in the beginning. We bought our house in Levittown 3 years ago. It was dated (wood paneling and all) but I figured we would work on one room at a time. I remember getting the key and coming in the front door for the first time and thinking, "this is it?...what the HELL did I do!!" Lol. The first 2 years this place was the money pit and, honestly, it really tested our relationship. Every time I started a project something else crept up or went wrong. DH never finished projects and we fought (I am type A all the way). I had a heck of a time finding good contractors when I needed them.

It's hard to find the perfect house but if you get most of what you're looking for you may be able to get the rest in time or upgrade as you build equity. This isn't my dream house either but we have renovated almost every room and it is gorgeous. I felt the same way in the beginning and worried that I wouldn't be able to afford anything! In the end I am glad that we do have our house - the financial stress I felt after closing lasted about 3 months until I saw that it was all working out. ...And you will always find things to spend money on! Just when I think there's nothing else I want to do something else pops up

Re: new homeowners...is this normal

I think it depends on whether the house you bought is a starter/fixer upper, or a house that you already envision as your "forever" home and requires little to zero effort when you move in.

DH and I are going to Open Houses right now and we saw many homes that said "requires TLC" and we debate to ourselves "oh, we could always replace the bathroom tub and vanity - its just a cosmetic thing..and we can knock down that living room wall to make a den, etc" -- but deep down, both of us know that neither of us are Bob Vila types (DH is handy when required but not exactly eager to spend every weekend at Home Depot ) so this forces us to look at houses which do NOT require a lot of work once we move in. This means, large kitchen, main bathroom on 1st floor, finished basement with enough room for storage, showers and/or tubs in every bathroom, new roof and windows, etc. Yes, this means we may have to pay for it - but nothing sucks more than moving in on Day 1 and realizing that you got scammed because you didn't do the research necessary to realize how much time/money you need to make that house livable and really "yours".

Re: new homeowners...is this normal

I loved it when we bought, but we also bought at the height of the market so felt screwed pretty soon after. What put us over the edge was seeing what friends and family were able to get a couple years later, in other "nicer" neighorhoods, bigger, sometimes newer construction.

And now, this will probably potentially be our forever home because then Sandy hit.


BUT............there's another side to this story.

Once Sandy happened, it gave me a new appreciation for my little overpriced, needs a ton of work 1950's house.

Now, DH and I are planning to move forward and do a bunch of upgrades to make it into what WE want.

It won't be perfect by any means, but I think we will value it even more because of what we lived through, I know the work will be amazing since DH is amazing at what he does, and we have a new found pride in our community.

new homeowners...is this normal

I'm in contract now. I already have mixed feelings. I know we need to do it bc we need more space, but I'm feeling melancholy about it already. More maintenance, $0 in savings, ill probably have to go back work. But I feel like we have no choice because we are outgrowing our rental and if we moved to a bigger rental wed be paying the same Amt that we'd pay for a mortgage.

new homeowners...is this normal

I think it's totally normal. I fell in love with our home upon walking in and loved it right until the point that our offer was accepted, at which point I decided that I am ok with renting forever and ever.

The first few months after move in were the hardest. It seemed like we needed EVERYTHING. We couldn't leave Home Depot without spending at least $200. It seemed like such a waste of money to buy mundane things like rakes and hedge clippers and paint brushes and all the other homeowner things.

It gets better though, I absolutely wouldn't trade my home for anything, but I don't know that I've ever been excited about the house as I was the first time I saw it. Mainly because when we saw it the first time, we weren't the one paying the mortgage!

Re: new homeowners...is this normal

With any big step you take in life, there is bound to be some nervousness and second guessing.

I know that I LOVE my house and it's perfect for us, but the first night we moved in, I turned to my mom and asked "Did we make a mistake?" And she said no, but she felt the same way when she first moved into her house, and most people do! It just didn't feel like home yet. I was used to living in an apartment in the city, and we moved in January. The house seemed huge and cold and drafty. Also, I had just had a baby. The house wasn't fully furnished yet. I was overwhelmed by the thought of unpacking. So it just took time to get used to all of the changes, and make the house feel like home. But buying it was absolutely the right decision for us and I can't imagine living anywhere else now.

But I think a big part of it is also buying within your financial comfort zone... which isn't the same thing as buying within the amount a bank says you can afford and will lend you. It means, being realistic about what things cost and what your lifestyle is, and being comfortable with the monthly fixed expense of the house, as well as other variables than crop up. House buying jitters is totally different than REAL financial strain. But buying real estate within your means is still the best financial investment anyone can make, imo.

I also think buyers are so used to searching online for homes day and night that it's hard to break the habit when you find "the one." But if that means you can't be happy with what you have, then you shouldn't look at homes online anymore! It's kind of like finding a husband... once you do, you can still like checking out other guys for fun or admit something is attractive, but looking at those other guys shouldn't make you doubt your choice of your DH or make you think "I could've done better." In general, I think the happiest people in life are those who make the most of what they have and don't constantly wonder if they could have something more, better, bigger, newer, etc.

And if you are a die-hard house viewing addict, then maybe consider a career in real estate?

Re: new homeowners...is this normal

Take one step at a time - work on things that will make you feel better about your decision There was a reason you guys chose the house to begin with, remember those reasons, and start fixing other things that bother you.

We loved our home from the first day we saw it and still feel the same. It's the first place we've lived in that we can both say, this could be our forever home. Give it time, and I'm sure you'll grow to love it!

Re: new homeowners...is this normal

Re: new homeowners...is this normal

Posted by Century 21 Dallow - Christine Braun

With any big step you take in life, there is bound to be some nervousness and second guessing.

I know that I LOVE my house and it's perfect for us, but the first night we moved in, I turned to my mom and asked "Did we make a mistake?" And she said no, but she felt the same way when she first moved into her house, and most people do! It just didn't feel like home yet. I was used to living in an apartment in the city, and we moved in January. The house seemed huge and cold and drafty. Also, I had just had a baby. The house wasn't fully furnished yet. I was overwhelmed by the thought of unpacking. So it just took time to get used to all of the changes, and make the house feel like home. But buying it was absolutely the right decision for us and I can't imagine living anywhere else now.

But I think a big part of it is also buying within your financial comfort zone... which isn't the same thing as buying within the amount a bank says you can afford and will lend you. It means, being realistic about what things cost and what your lifestyle is, and being comfortable with the monthly fixed expense of the house, as well as other variables than crop up. House buying jitters is totally different than REAL financial strain. But buying real estate within your means is still the best financial investment anyone can make, imo.

I also think buyers are so used to searching online for homes day and night that it's hard to break the habit when you find "the one." But if that means you can't be happy with what you have, then you shouldn't look at homes online anymore! It's kind of like finding a husband... once you do, you can still like checking out other guys for fun or admit something is attractive, but looking at those other guys shouldn't make you doubt your choice of your DH or make you think "I could've done better." In general, I think the happiest people in life are those who make the most of what they have and don't constantly wonder if they could have something more, better, bigger, newer, etc.

And if you are a die-hard house viewing addict, then maybe consider a career in real estate?

new homeowners...is this normal

No, that doesn't help AT ALL. As always, Christine is right on the mark. I had to unsubscribe to listingbook when I found my house too. But then, just as Christine suggested, I gave into my addiction and became a real estate broker!

Also, maybe budget for housing related expenses and figure out what you absolutely have to have right now (like new toilet seats or temporary blinds or whatever it takes to make it livable) and then things for later (like rakes and hedge trimmers and things that you use only occasionally). It's so tempting to go all out and just grab things that you know you will need, but that may increase the panic in the long run. Budgeting made me feel a lot better too, to know that the house was only allowed to take up a certain amount of our income.

Re: new homeowners...is this normal

Posted by jennyal

Posted by Century 21 Dallow - Christine Braun

With any big step you take in life, there is bound to be some nervousness and second guessing.

I know that I LOVE my house and it's perfect for us, but the first night we moved in, I turned to my mom and asked "Did we make a mistake?" And she said no, but she felt the same way when she first moved into her house, and most people do! It just didn't feel like home yet. I was used to living in an apartment in the city, and we moved in January. The house seemed huge and cold and drafty. Also, I had just had a baby. The house wasn't fully furnished yet. I was overwhelmed by the thought of unpacking. So it just took time to get used to all of the changes, and make the house feel like home. But buying it was absolutely the right decision for us and I can't imagine living anywhere else now.

But I think a big part of it is also buying within your financial comfort zone... which isn't the same thing as buying within the amount a bank says you can afford and will lend you. It means, being realistic about what things cost and what your lifestyle is, and being comfortable with the monthly fixed expense of the house, as well as other variables than crop up. House buying jitters is totally different than REAL financial strain. But buying real estate within your means is still the best financial investment anyone can make, imo.

I also think buyers are so used to searching online for homes day and night that it's hard to break the habit when you find "the one." But if that means you can't be happy with what you have, then you shouldn't look at homes online anymore! It's kind of like finding a husband... once you do, you can still like checking out other guys for fun or admit something is attractive, but looking at those other guys shouldn't make you doubt your choice of your DH or make you think "I could've done better." In general, I think the happiest people in life are those who make the most of what they have and don't constantly wonder if they could have something more, better, bigger, newer, etc.

And if you are a die-hard house viewing addict, then maybe consider a career in real estate?

It doesn't help that I still get the listing book listings huh?

Re: new homeowners...is this normal

I felt that way after first buying our apt - with all the fees, closing costs, etc. it ended up being more than we originally thought and was a terrible process due to the sellers being total jerks.

I think a big thing is that the reason you feel so attached to a home, any home, is the memories and experiences you have in them. So therefore, a brand new place, even if it is 95% perfect, just won't feel like "home" until you have some of those feelings attached to it. It's natural to miss your old place due to these attachments. Also, the reality is, no place is perfect and we all have to settle and compromise to afford something in this area - very very few people can honestly say they live in their dream home (and usually many who do, have done a ton of work and only got the dream many years after buying).

I'd say give it a few months, once you are settled in, and you will fall in love again with the place. You need a lazy saturday morning making pancakes or a sunny day playing in the yard, etc. something like that and I bet you will feel differently.