coming out dilemma

I want to tell my parents, DH's parents, and immediate family ONLY about the pregnancy at 8 weeks. My problem is that I feel like a few of them won't be able to keep it a secret which stinks because I don't want to tell everyone else until 12 weeks. I KNOW at least one of DH's family members will blab or post something on facebook.

Should I just wait until 12 weeks so that I can tell everyone at once? I would like to tell my sister, mom, and a close friend sooner, but DH feels like his mom would be left out. I would tell her early on too, but I feel like since she has been waiting for me to get pregnant she will be bursting at the seems to tell someone!

Did anyone else have this issue? How did you deal with it???

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I thought that too but my mil actually didn't blab. We explained to her how we want to be the ones to share the news publicly and that she must keep quiet

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We actually had the same concern. We weren't going to tell anyone until 12 weeks, no exceptions. Well we caved and told my in laws. DH is so close with them and it was breaking his heart every time he would talk to them.
So, we decided to tell them and to be honest, I feel like we have been paying the price ever since. Now when we talk to them they come up with excuses as to why they need to inform other family members. While they have promised they haven't blabbed, we still wish we hadn't told them.

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it's a personal choice! Not sure when you are going for your first US, but if everything looks great, and you are comfortable, then it's your choice.

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I would just tell people that you trust not to spill the beans. Your mil doesn't have to know that you told your mom or sister first. We told my immediate family when we found out but waited to tell my inlaws.. It's a good thing bc the second we told my mil and asked her not to say anything, my DHs aunt wrote Congratulations on my FB wall.

coming out dilemma

It's totally up to you when you want to tell everyone. A friend of mine ended up putting it up on FB at 7 weeks and now she's 32 weeks and I'm going to her baby shower today. Like I said, it's totally up to you when you want to tell everyone.

I was worried about the blabbing with my MIL. We told my parents right after we found out from a HPT. His parents we waited a couple more weeks to tell. We didn't want to tell SIL just yet and we thought MIL would spill. I told my MIL if she told anyone we wouldn't tell her when I went into labor. While she didn't tell anyone per say, she did tell everyone how sick I was so everyone figured it out, including SIL. So now, we just don't tell her about any secrets we want to keep for a little while like Godparents and gender.

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we told our parents right away and made it clear we were uncomfortable telling other people until our 12 week appointment. they understood and kept quiet until we told them they could spread the word.

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We told both our parents almost at 8 weeks on Christmas Eve we told them not to say anything and I was scared but so far so good we are 1 week away from our 12w mark but I honestly don't want to come out even then I think I'm gonna wait til a bit after

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Posted by LadyBug1209
It's a good thing bc the second we told my mil and asked her not to say anything, my DHs aunt wrote Congratulations on my FB wall.

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We went through the same thing with #1. We told our parents at 4 weeks exactly, which was 3 days after my BFP. I could not NOT tell my mom. Well, she just HAD to tell her friend. Then we told my extended family a week later and kind of knew it would get out (I have a few loud mouths on my side lol) so we started telling people here and there in person. Most people respected our wishes until I came out on FB at 12 weeks. I was on high alert when I got comments on my page for the whole first tri.

THIS time it's DC who is a blabber mouth lol. DC told MIL last night "baby in mommy's belly". Thank goodness it's almost DCs birthday so I played it off that I've been nostalgic and showing DC sono pictures and telling DC that DC was in mommy's belly. I think MIL half bought it. Oh well. We're announcing to our parents next Sunday so fingers crossed DC doesn't blab again!

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I learned you can't tell anyone... And I mean ANYONE unless you are comfortable with anyone knowing. I would hold out as long as you can and tell a few people who don't know anyone else. Once other people know its free reign, you can't trust they will keep your secret... (Selfish, I know ... since its very clearly your news to share)

I came out on LIF which made me feel like I was telling people but IRL I'm not coming out till closer to 20 wks.

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We had the same concern with my inlaws so we told my parents after our first sono (week 7) then the inlaws and everyone else at week 12.

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I came out at 8 weeks with my first. With my second, we wanted to wait to at least 12 weeks and the only people who knew earlier were my ILs (my MIL was staying with us when I took the test). They knew that if anyone else found out before we told them, they'd be the last to know next time. They kept it secret!

This time we told everyone at 11 weeks because we were all together then.

coming out dilemma

what you could do is tell them now since you really want to but then maybe leave facebook for while until your ready to come out to everyone.. That way no one can mistakenly put it on facebook and wont get out to anyone that way! It worked for a couple people I know! :)

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Everytime I told anyone I made sure to add, remember no facebook!!! everyone respected my wishes... worked out great!

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I learned that if you tell someone, more people will learn about it. When we told about being pg with my DD, we brought just the grandparents and my grandfather out for dinner and surprised them. We asked that they keep it a secret until around 12 weeks bc with our history, we just wanted to be safe.

My mom called me that night and told me that my grandfather had called up everyone in his phonebook that night and they were all calling my mom to wish us congrats.

What was I going to do? Be mad at my grandfather for being so excited? It was actually sweet that he had to tell. I couldn't hold it against him. So I said, "ok, I guess you guys don't have to keep it a secret either then."

So, now, we don't tell family until we're prepared for the whole family to know. Which, is usually around 8 weeks and the first sono anyway.

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Posted by Maybe-Baybe

Posted by LadyBug1209
It's a good thing bc the second we told my mil and asked her not to say anything, my DHs aunt wrote Congratulations on my FB wall.

That's EXACTLY what I am afraid of! Sorry that happened to you, that is so inconsiderate.

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DH's family is nothing but talkers! We came out to our immediate families around 6 weeks. At 8 weeks we told some extended family but told them to keep their mouths shut because I wasn't out to everyone or work yet. They were pretty good!

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I am very tempted to tell my mom and MIL....DH wants me to wait till I see the Dr....I am about 6 weeks along now...I am going to the Dr in my 8th week....I'm not sure I can hold out. Lol! If I do tell my Mom then the whole world would know in minutes. It's a tough situation.

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This topic makes me so so mad! I can't believe how many people (myself included!) have family members and IL's who feel it's ok for them to share this news, even after explicit instruction not to!

My own mother (after being sworn to secrecy) badgered me so much about being allowed to tell "just this one person" that I finally said "FINE!" since I was pretty sure this meant she already had told her (my aunt) and was feeling guilty. I thought that would be the end of it but all the way up until 12 weeks I'd constantly get "Can't I just now tell my friend so-and-so, she doesn't even know anyone you know!" and "Well now I feel bad since I told Aunt Gail, I have to tell Aunt Marie too or else she's going to be so hurt if she finds out". That's not to even mention me suspecting MIL told people too, although I never really knew for sure.

It's such a catch 22 becuase you're so excited and want to share it but might not be ready to put it out there for "everyone". It's a really personal decision. Just be well aware that if you tell even one person it could easily get out to anyone. I don't understand how people can not realize or care what personal and sensitive information this is.