I'm in trouble :( help please

I start work in 2 weeks, I dont think Gianna will be able make it through the day. Last night, I went to my brother's home and left her with my SIL for 2 seconds, she started fussing then went into this screaming, crying, top of her lungs cry.
The kind of cry that she stops breathing, chokes on her own mucous and saliva, tears running down her cheeks.

She did it twice, i was only there for 2 hours. The second time she did it as we were leaving and my brother held her while i gathered her things. THis time she worked herself up so badly she vomitted all over herself.
I think her AR acted up too, which made it worse.

How will she make it through nine hours of daycare with strangers?
What can i do to make this easier for both of us?
WE are not hermits, she knows my sil and bro, that kind of cry scares the h@ll out of me.


HOw do i do this? If she cries like this at daycare will they call me?

Re: I'm in trouble :( help please

Alex never had that kind of reaction, but I feared she would, so for the few weeks that I had left on my maternity leave, I went into daycare with Alex almost everyday and spent a few hours a day there just playing with her on the floor... it helped ease my mind because I was able to watch the daycare workers in action and see that they were very responsive and caring, and at the same time, I think it helped acclimate her to the new setting with the people... maybe that will help?

Re: I'm in trouble :( help please

Re: I'm in trouble :( help please

Re: I'm in trouble :( help please

Posted by btrflygrl

Posted by Bxgell2

Alex never had that kind of reaction, but I feared she would, so for the few weeks that I had left on my maternity leave, I went into daycare with Alex almost everyday and spent a few hours a day there just playing with her on the floor... it helped ease my mind because I was able to watch the daycare workers in action and see that they were very responsive and caring, and at the same time, I think it helped acclimate her to the new setting with the people... maybe that will help?

I was going to suggest this too....go into the daycare with her and stay with her, play, walk her around and meet everyone.

it's probably separation anxiety and it does get better

Re: I'm in trouble :( help please

They say it helps to start playing games with them designed to show them object permanence - meaning, that if you disappear from sight, it doesn't mean you're gone forever. It's really a developmental thing... I remember Alex went through it for a few weeks. Try playing peek-a-boo with her more often, and try putting her down in her exersaucer or something like that, and creep backwards until you're out of the line of sight... and then poke your head around again so she can see you. Eventually, in a few weeks she'll learn that if she doesn't immediately see mommy or daddy, it's ok, it doesn't mean they're gone forever...

Re: I'm in trouble :( help please

maybe since you have 2 wks you can do short strints away from her - even just leaving her in her crib for 20 mins without you. Try having someone watch her at your house for a short time and gradually etend the time you're gone maybe?

I have a feeling at daycare it will be different though because there is SO much for them to look at and see and be amazed by. They are entertained by all the colorful stuff and other kids.

Katie didnt even nap the first couple of days (not very much anyway) she just loved to sit and watch everything.

Re: I'm in trouble :( help please

The first few days may be rough. I HIGHLY suggest that your husband drop the baby off, and not you. I did that and it really helped the whole situation.

I would go each day for a hour to let her play with the kids, see what is going on and feel safe. After a week i would leave her there for 2 hours one day, 3 hours the next..she will see that you come back for her everytime. I think that really helps as well. Plus you will get confident that your baby is okay.

Good Luck.

Re: I'm in trouble :( help please

I know this won't help you, but the old adage, "out of sight, out of mind" rings very true with babies. The honest truth is that once you are out of sight, they will forget about you! This happens with Noah, when I pass him to someone else he cries and cries, but give him 5 minutes...he snaps out of it and enjoys the company of other people...

I would just keep trying it and give it some time, she will be fine without you!!

Does your daycare centre do settles? So you go in and spend an hour playing, than you leave for 20 minutes, spend another hour playing and leave again. Do this for a week, thats what the nurseries here do, my friends are doing it now and finding it really helpful

eta..I know this sounds harsh, but I think that lot of time the real separation anxiety is on the part of the parents, not on the baby.

Message edited 8/31/2006 3:15:41 PM.

Re: I'm in trouble :( help please

Jordana's daycare has a transition week. The first day she went there for 2 hours. The next day 4 hours, then 6 hours, then 7.

Re: I'm in trouble :( help please

what's weird is that i can leave her alone in her pnp, or crib and leave the room. She goes to sleep by herself, no rocking, so soothing needed by me. I just put her down with paci and leave. Would this still be separation anxiety? I am soo confused.

I think it's really bad when she's out of her element or not in her own house is when the fits start, especially when we are around people she doesn't see everyday.

This is soo confusing, i honestly don't know how to make her feel better. 1/2 of me CAN"T WAIT to go back to work, and the other 1/2 is worried about her screaming all day long.

I have left her many times before with family to babysit, just not in the last month or so.


Thank you everyone for your advice and support

Iam def going to daycare and get her acclimated to the surroundings, we are starting tomorrow. when i am there i am going to see if i can leave her for a 1/2-1 hour or so before her enrollment date.

I just hope these fits she throws are mood related and not her "normal" now.




i cannot and will not be a mommy that can't go anywhere, or leave her, no way jose!

Message edited 8/31/2006 3:41:52 PM.

Re: I'm in trouble :( help please

Message edited 8/31/2006 7:31:47 PM.